For years, I understood Jesus to be only a tiny reflection of who He really is. He was primarily a teaching based on strict religious beliefs.
Reflecting back, I realize how little I related to him. How little I relied on him. How little I knew of him,though I thought at the time that it was much.
Truthfully, he was about as real as I might perceive a fairytale or superhero of some sort. The fact that I couldn’t see him, or touch him, or experience him in any measure of fullness, really hindered my ability to know Him or experience growth. My life had adapted and I left little room to conceive of anything more.
I believed in His existence, but had no idea of the power and strength He wanted to give me. His overwhelming love and desire to see me healed was much more than I had previously experienced. He loved me. He wanted a relationship with me. He wasn’t requiring me to be perfect in all of my ways. He wasn’t expecting me to be perfect at all. I expected that of myself.
And. . . all this time he had been waiting patiently for me to respond.
I regretfully admit, and still cringe, at how much was lost during those wasted years. My limited understanding of life, the choices I made, and my guiding principles, were based on the illusion of my environment. My life experiences had shaped my core values and beliefs, which were simultaneous as narrow and divergent as the secrets required to reinforce them.
Misguided comfort was found in the confinement of a very small world. An ever unsettled misperception of safety was there.
Moreover, I believed that Jesus lived there too (and only there). How could I have ever believed this lie? Ever so subtly the enemy had crafted my views.
How was it possible that the enemy was capable of taking so much? How is it that He could leave Almighty God to appear as a powerless deity?
My heart grieves for my blindness.
Yet, I rejoice at the magnitude of what has now been revealed. I THANK GOD for Jesus’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I THANK GOD that he has never defined me by wrong perceptions. I THANK GOD that his healing has given me a new life. AND I THANK GOD that he didn’t leave me or forsake me, even though I didn’t deserve the mercy and grace that was demonstrated. I am a new creation and growing quickly in his power and strength. There is great resiliency now in knowing the truth that my God can do ALL THINGS for those who believe. And I am enjoying a developing relationship with Him – the BIG HIM.
He has always been GOOD TO ME . .
…..even when I wasn’t capable of being that to myself. And I praise him at every step along the way.
I come to you today with a humble heart, full of love and admiration for the continuation of learning about who YOU REALLY ARE. When my world seems turned upside down and the weight is carried on my shoulders, remind me of the power and strength that I have access to by the Spirit that resides in me now. Thank you for always being GOOD TO ME, even when I least deserved your mercy and grace. I will sing and praise you for all that you are and all that you have done. You are far greater than anything I have ever experienced or known. You are GOOD all the time. Amen.
~Baring His Beauty,