My dear friend, Kelley, wrote a great blog last Friday on “Identity Theft” so I wanted to follow up with my own story of how my identity was stolen.
I’m sure you can probably relate to just how your identity may have been stolen as well, or if not you, then someone very close to you.
The theft took place so long ago, that I can barely remember when it happened.
It was slow and subtle and just seemed to sneak up on me, but my first memory was when I was just a little girl in first grade I think, maybe even kindergarten. One day I was getting ready for school and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed that my hair was not long and pretty like my two best friends, they were twins and had long beautiful wavy brown hair. Mine was short and straight and blonde. I remember thinking that I wished I had long hair like theirs, and I was mad at my mom for making me cut it for the new school year. That day, I decided that I am not as pretty as other girls, maybe even ugly!
A few years later, I noticed that my thighs were not as long and thin as other girls in my gym class. I was short and a little on the chunky side; I decided that I was chubby and maybe even fat!
Then one day at school, I believe I was in the fourth grade, my teacher asked a question, and I was so sure I had the right answer so I waved my arm high, back and forth so proud, and when she called on me, I was completely wrong — I felt like such a fool and all the other students laughed at me.
That day, I decided that I wasn’t that smart, maybe even stupid, and I better just be quiet so I don’t get embarrassed!
I’m sure there were many more incidents over the years, but I think you get the picture. So by the time I went to Junior High, my identity was that I am ugly, fat and stupid! I’m sure it only got worse as time went on.
Sure, I smiled and seemed happy on the outside, but inside I felt inadequate and unworthy. I didn’t try out for any sports or the drill team. I always wanted to be a cheer leader, but I didn’t think I was good enough, so why bother.
Why did I believe the lies that the enemy kept telling me? Why did I fall for the trap of negative self-talk that always played in my head?
I can look back now and see it so clearly, but at the time, I really didn’t even know that I had this belief, this self doubt and negative self image.
It was buried deep inside and it just became who I was, I didn’t realize that my identity had been stolen and that my own mindset was holding me back.
Most of the time I was happy and enjoyed life, no one would have ever known, not even me, it just became who I was, and I lived with it because I didn’t know the truth. I believed the lies and accepted it as truth.
Because I didn’t have Jesus in my life, I had no idea how much He loved me!
I didn’t read the bible that I got when I went to church with my neighbor in the 6th grade.
It was right there all the time, in the top drawer of my night stand. If only I had opened it and learned the truth, that Jesus loves me with an everlasting love, that He knit me in my mother’s womb, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
That His plans for me are good, to prosper and have hope for the future!
If only I had known the truth, God’s word, it would have set me free from the bondage that the enemy created in my own mind and reclaimed my stolen identity much sooner!
Father, I am so thankful that you didn’t give up on me, you waited patiently for me to seek the truth and when I finally knocked, you opened the door and showed me that I am loved and I am worthy, not from anything I did, but because you paid the price for my sin and died on the cross to save me and give me eternal life with you. There is nothing I could have done to set myself free, it is only by trusting and believing in you and being covered by your blood that I am saved. Your word is the way the truth and the life! Please forgive me for believing the lies of the enemy, and thank you for loving me and showing me the way to love myself and be grateful for everything that you have given me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:“I have loved you with an everlasting love;I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”