the 3 year anniversary of my beloved friend Brad’s passing.
I was fine on the 20th …
My daddy’s 78th birthday … even though we haven’t been able to celebrate together since his 62nd Birthday when he passed onto Heaven in 2008.
But on the 21st ….
I didn’t sleep well
I didn’t feel myself
I was relieved that my coffee date canceled as I was not feeling I would be good company.
I tried to do my weight bearing work out and at the end pulled a muscle in my neck that just about sent me into a cussing rage…
I told my hubs to tread lightly – I got a bur in my saddle and got no clue what has me OFF…
He said – “I am gonna go help Komal do his yard” … (this had me so tickled as he would rather go do yard work with our neighbor than stick around in this house …
I welcomed the time alone.
But had to make a call for customer service stuff and had been playing phone tag and after 3 more attempts and accidentally being hung up on and rerouted 3 more times I was ready to lay into someone but Holy Spirit kept impressing upon me — “Don’t You Do It Gurl! “
I didn’t lay into anyone.
My post I posted yesterday was about when words don’t come we can still hum —
I felt like that was what God was trying to get me to realize.
You may not have a melody right this moment that you are able to belt out so just hum.
Sort of like praying in the Spirit when regular praying eludes us.
Many times we can’t put our finger on the culprit…
Many time the words escape us to express our feelings.
Sometimes we stuff the crap out of our emotions that they are like packing gunpowder and are ready to explode.
I really had nothing to point back to so I asked God …
What is it?
Why do I feel like this?
I got the word — “grief” dropped in my Spirit …
Grief????
I am familiar with grief but I don’t feel that it’s grief… even with the recent anniversaries of those people I love dearly and lost.
I have had that deep season of weeping and wailing in the night but know Joy does in fact come back in the morning.
I was not sure my feeling was grief…
Then God said – “look deeper” ….
Grief – from Old French grief, from grever ‘to burden’
Grief is to burden 🥴
Burden is a load – typically a heavy or distressing one
Old English byrthen, of West Germanic origin; related to bear.
Bear – carry the weight of; support.
Hmmm… I hummed ….
That’s when I felt this message unfold for me….
Grief, is not just in deaths
We can grieve many things …
And carrying grief around is a burden and we all know what God says about burdens …
We aren’t meant to bear them.
They are distressing and heavy.
I didn’t even realize I am possibly grieving some things – more than the actual loss of loved ones …
Some things we can grieve ..
Change – even good changes
Loss around us
Loss within us
Unknowns
Expectations
Fears
Fellowship
Friendships…
So, I opened my bible…
I hummed and I read.
I prayed and I worshipped.
I thanked God for reminding me that all that I was or am grieving is His burden to bear — so I will let Him do the heavy lifting today.
So here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Leave all your cares and anxieties at the feet of the Lord, and measureless grace will strengthen you.
— Psalm 55:22 TPT
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to Me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.
Simply join your life with Mine. Learn My ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me.
For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”
— Matthew 11:28-30 TPT
Pour out all your worries and stress upon God and leave them there, for He always tenderly cares for you.
— 1 Peter 5:7 TPT
And one of my very favorites – one of my life verses …
“And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in His eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. Yes, He will set you firmly in place and build you up.
— 1 Peter 5:10 TPT
Some takeaway’s folks …
Lay into God and His Word – His presence is so much better than laying into others.
He builds us up and restores us.
Cast your cares on Him – Because He does care for you!
He will carry our burdens – we must let Him.
Be ok to sit in some questions ..not knowing what’s next.
We will all have missed steps and off days when trying to figure out God‘s will, and our part in it.
We’re human.
Just like Abraham that held onto hope against all hope, trusting God to do what He said…
We too, must learn to persevere and trust, even when the specifics and the timing are unclear.
You can be confused, but still remain confident in the Lord.
You can be bewildered, but still believing in the goodness of God.
You can be worn out but still be trusting and waiting on God to move ….
Job felt the same way I bet – he was all those things yet he was just as sure of his own integrity as he was of God’s goodness.
Job refused to be intimidated into a false confession by the accusations of his friends.
Thinking of those “almost”polar opposites – I thought of my own life and how sometimes 💩 happens and I too am at times both those things …
Job was confused yet confident
Job was bewildered yet believing
And Job surely was worn out yet still waiting on God.
As I was diving in – I found an interesting bit I saw here in Job 33 ….
Elihu had listened to the friend’s advice and also to Job’s defense — he had found both wanting…
In Job 33 Elihu brings his case against Job – in 34 he accuses Job of arrogance – in 35 he reminds Job of God’s justice – in 36 & 37 he reminds Job of God’s power…
But somehow he still never sides with Job or the others …
Elihu clearly is focused rather on defending God’s honor from misleading statements.
He appears to be a bit “short on the sugar” sympathy for Job. 😂
And even more surprising – we never heard of Elihu before chapter 32 – Nor was he mentioned after he closed his mouth- he wasn’t chastised by God along with Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
It seems Elihu appeared – spoke – then disappeared …..
He had the last word in the conversation before God finally begins to speak in chapter 38.
🤯
I first started to unpack all this when I saw
Job 33:4 – this is Elihu’s reply …. Job 33:4 – “ the Spirit of God made me what I am, the breath of God Almighty gave me life!”
And tucked inside Elihu’s second speech is this gem!!!
Job 34:10 …
It’s impossible for God to do anything evil.
2 very commonly quoted verses.
I decided to go back and read Elihu’s first, second, and third speech ….
Elihu was dropping some pretty powerful nuggets!!
I encourage you to read Job 33-38 and find your own powerful Promises to hold onto out of those nugget reminders Elihu is dropping.
I also want to note Elihu may have gone on and on about God’s goodness in the midst of Job’s suffering and that could be a bit insensitive … sometimes we have the best intentions and we can be the same way …
I am not making light of anyone’s suffering by stating those amazing Promises will fix your situation …
but they are a wonderful place to start and they encouraged me greatly and I want you too to know …
It is completely ok to be confused and confident, bewildered yet believing,
and to be a bit worn out
in the waiting like Job.
But …
Please hold on – and remember God is working All Things Out for your good! (Roman’s 8:28)
And Hey Cheers to Elihu!
Whoever he was for the great reminders of God’s amazing Promises.
There’s always a Promise for every problem.
So, as the old adage goes …
“Write your name on the Promises – and declare!
I too have made them mine!!”
Let me know what others you discovered in those chapters.
My Godfather once said if we could catch a dragonfly he would dip in gold for us.
We chased Dragonflies for hours days weeks months years – they always alluded us.
About 10 years ago my friend Kelley Allison while hanging out in her backyard pool said that if you stand still and put up your finger a dragonfly will land on your finger. 🤔 I tried it – it worked! 😳😲🤯 I did it over and over and every time a dragonfly nearby would come and land on my finger.
I remember being so fascinated by that.
I hadn’t thought of those memories in awhile until this morning while brushing my teeth.
I felt God speak this message to my heart … which is to encourage you all too….
“Whatever you are chasing after and it keeps seeming to be just beyond your grasp… Learn to be still. Learn to rest and wait with your heart and life postured upward to God. It doesn’t matter how long “it” has alluded you. When you align your life with God and His ways – those things you are chasing or seeking after will come seemingly miraculous and easy to you.”
Spiritual growth consist most in the growth of the root, which is out of sight. — Matthew Henry
God desires truth in our inmost parts.
Do we?
God wants to plant His wisdom deep within.
Do we?
Perhaps we have failed to realize the radical nature of the gospel.
Perhaps we have sought guidance for our behavior without first seeking a change in our character.
Perhaps we have wanted easy words to follow rather than a traumatic word that changes us.
God will not let us be content with that. His spirit will continue to hound us as lovingly as He can hound; He will not stop His works in us, until it has penetrated our core.
God will not settle for appearances.
Do you settle for appearances?
Are you content with superficial acts of faith while a sinful heart fights and wins the battle deep within?
Adopt God’s desires.
Never cease your prayers for change until the change runs deep.
Always let God take you deeper than the day before.
I know, my God, that You test the heart and are pleased with integrity. — 1 Chronicles 29:17