Your toddler reaches for a hot stove, and you jump into action to prevent an injury. After the disaster is averted, you calmly, yet firmly explain in a way they can understand, “Hot. Don’t touch.” Of course, there are some kids who have to push the boundaries and learn from experience despite your warnings and lectures of love.
Fast track a few years and you’re teaching your child responsibility for their actions, then how to treat others despite how they are treated, and giving (not so solicited) advice on hurt feelings and dealing with rejection. We haven’t even reached pre-teen years yet.
Everything we do for our children comes from wisdom gained through experience. Our ultimate goal, although we may not readily admit it, is not just to teach and protect, but to keep them from pain and hurts we’ve experienced. It’s as natural as it is noble.
But it doesn’t always work.
I’ve always tried to relate to my children, not just on their level, but where they are in their young lives. Like most parents, I’ve been through it, done it, and have learned from my mistakes and triumphs. Although each child is different in the way they process, their goals, and in their perceptions, experience gives me the knowledge of how they feel. I have been that child, teenager, or young adult. The key is, to have compassion where THEY are at that moment, not the end result I see coming. I try to remember the sadness or anger I felt at the time, I try to recall what I did or how I wanted to retaliate.
I recall a particular interchange between my son and I. He was being unusually resistant to my advice. I asked him, “When you get stuck on a level in a game and can’t solve the situation, what do you do?” He said, “I’ll find a person that knows how to get past it.” I asked, “How do they know how to get past it?” He said, “Because they’ve already done it.” And so I tell him, “Just as these people will show you the way out, is the same way I’m trying to guide you through this particular situation. I’ve already done it. I pretty much know the end result. So I’m passing that on to you so YOU know what to do and not do, to succeed.”
Does my 9 year old always take my advice? Sometimes. Sometimes not.
If you’re lucky, when your children are older, they will come to you with problems or ask for advice on important decisions. Sometimes they will listen, sometimes they won’t. The important thing is, TO ADVISE.
I’ve learned there are occasions when advice will be readily received, followed, and a positive result is obtained. I’ve also learned that advice can be heard, not followed, but a lesson is still learned down the road. In the midst of the chaos that followed rejected words of wisdom, perhaps it is passed on to a sibling or friend, from hindsight or the echoes of regret. It vibrates through their heart in tones of, “I should have, if only, and if I had listened ….. ” It’s the same sad lyric in which you gained your own experience. Even if they don’t adhere, they are still gaining wisdom. When we remember our own paths of regret, grace and compassion are easily given to those we see stumble.
As this realization becomes known deep down in the hearts of those we have touched, the wisdom spreads. Some will ignore, some will hear but not do, and there are those who will hear and DO. You will never know how far reaching and how broadly your words will spread. Never. It’s a cycle of experience, that begets wisdom, that begets grace.
The next time you’re sharing wisdom to the vacant eyes of your teenager in an attempt to get him to “see,” or feel as though the instruction to your stubborn child is falling on rocky ground, or if you’re simply giving loving advice to a friend … Remember, openly received and accepted or not, it is your job, your obligation as one who has walked before them …. to lovingly pass on your wisdom, knowledge, and Godly advice.
Having to see immediate results is vanity. Knowing you’ve led someone down the right path, is Godly. It is their choice to follow.
Always, always, be willing to receive advice, lest we grow arrogant and proudful. We are never too old to learn and grow!
In the words of Steven Curtis Chapman, “There’s someone who’s already been where we must go. In the light of what they’ve learned we find that we will grow wise, if we walk with the wise.”
~ Sandra K. Yates
She will marry a man
Who is kind
Not giving himself away
Not selling himself short
Or listening …
To others voices
He will be
Spectacular!!!
An instrument
Of peace
Comfort
With arms
To hold her
Never letting go
He will know
Her heart
And will
Memorize it
He is noble
He is wise
He is magnificent
And the prize
She saved herself
For him
Never giving up
On
Gods Promises.
We are Light bearers- helping usher others to find the Light so they too can know what it is like to leave the darkness behind.
~XXOO Michelle Bollom
#LiveRestored
However, you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people who belong to God. You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. ~1Peter 2:9 GWT
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. – 1 Peter 2:9-10 MSG
“A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.” ~Proverbs 15:1 MSG
This is the scripture of the day today in my Bible app. It is so very true and one I remind myself of almost daily! And…One I use often with my girls.
A true life lesson.
If I could really grasp this principle from Proverbs, how many arguments could I avoid?
Sometimes I am reluctant to have this soft response because it feels like I am validating the anger not to react to it, but if I really trust the Lord that HE can make things right if I respond correctly to others, then I am capable of a soft and sweet answer in the face of nasty.
In this aspect, may we all be fire-extinguishers, instead of kindling wood. I have to say, when I have gone and said what I felt “needed to be said!” I have never felt better afterwards. Usually a sickening feeling of regret has accompanied the sweet reminder from Jesus that now, just as he is talking to the other angry person, he is also now having to talk to me about my response and attitude.
And true to form, He never yells angrily. He obeys his own advice and speaks sweetly and softly to stir my heart to repentance. My dad always told us that we are only responsible for our response to any situation. And not responsible for anyone else’s.
He DRILLED that in our heads. I have had to use this advice continually over this obstacle course called life soooo many times.
Lord, thank you for always having patience with me as I learn to speak sweetly and softly to those who are angry and frustrate me. Whether that’s to my spouse, my friends, my daughters, my family or even strangers in traffic. 😳 You never ask us to do something you don’t demonstrate. Thank you for being so amazing towards me. For your unconditional love, I love you, my precious savior.
“Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.” – Will Rogers
I love the maxim, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
I’ve seen the amusing alternative that says, “When life gives you lemons, break out the salt and tequila and invite a few friends over.” I like this one too.
The fact is, it’s all about perspective. Either choice is making a somewhat positive decision.
However, I have been considering the lemon itself. It’s sour and unpleasant. Most people don’t like the sour things in life. We alter them, dress them up, and try to make them enjoyable …. and so we should. But has anyone ever considered just taking the lemon straight?
I figure, if I add sugar to make lemonade, in a few days time, it will add weight to my thighs. If I add tequila, well, despite well-meaning friends, the next day may be painfully punishable AND I still have the alcohol to sugar to fat ratio to consider. Dang, can’t win for losing!
So how about that lemon?
A lemon has sprouted from a seed, the seed took root and grew into a lemon tree. Like all good fruit bearing trees, it produced after its own kind.
I believe in every lemon, there is a lesson. If life is dishing out some unsavory things for you, should we not look at the seed, the root, ….. the tree we have been tending? Perhaps it’s not something we’ve done and surely it’s not our fault that we’ve been served a dish that’s best served sweet or drenched in alcohol. Whether we planted the seed of the lemon tree or not, somewhere along the way, we have attended to its needs for growth …… watered our minds by entertaining ideas and thoughts, nurtured growth through unforgiveness, and suckled upon the fruit of complacency.. In other words, that lemon didn’t grow all by itself.
What if …. now think about this, really contemplate ….. we just ate the lemon!?! A few minutes of discomfort and it’s done, over, gone. No fat cells or hangovers to deal with, no side-affects, just taking our medicine, sleeping in the bed we’ve made, learning the lesson, and getting on with our lives without drawing it out and creating new problems? Yeah, that sounds good to me! Over and done!
When I face adversity, I have the choice of casting blame or making lemonade. I believe we should always, always look for the up side. But first and foremost, look to ourselves. Is there a lesson here? Could I have done it differently? What can I learn?
Search your heart, dig deep. Look within yourself, be honest. If the lemons being served to you hold no purpose and have come to you by no nurturing of your own, ….. toss it in a pitcher and add sugar!
It has been my experience that 99.999% of the time, I’ve grown my own lemons. I pray we will all learn to see that growth is not weakness, forgiveness in not vulnerability, and lemons aren’t all that hard to swallow!
My hope is that today while spending time with family and loved ones, you will reflect on the following scripture:
John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.”
This scripture tells us the greatest love of all is that we would be willing to give up our own lives for others. This scripture is very deep. Christ’s life was all about sacrifice- he gave up his life so that we could have freedom. Just like Christ, many men and women gave up their lives so that we could experience freedom. How Christ like is that?
I want to personally thank all of those whom gave up their lives so that we could have basic liberties.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Enjoy your day with your family…and love so deep, that you would be willing to give up your life for others!
I have been very lacked on my exercise or choosing the most beneficial or healthy food choices.
A couple of years ago I was running and making better choices… And then my thyroid crapped out. The scale went up and then I worked hard to get it down and then a couple of summers of eating and being lazy … Well, I am now reaping what I sowed. The weight I lost found its way back. The lack of running, exercise, or even walking has me feeling flabby and weak.
Don’t get me wrong- I have had some amazing things happen in the last few years, God has answered tons of prayers, grown me so much spiritually, and given me some amazing connections. I would not change anything.
I know it took all of that and now this to wake me up and get me on to getting serious.
No way to lessen the blow, to sugar coat it-
bottom line-I have neglected my temple.
I still struggle. I am an emotional eater. I co-lead a small local ministry since 2009 helping others with this same issue, but I have just been going through the motions and letting my flesh and emotions convince me that I don’t need to exercise or watch what I eat. I have talked the talk, but not been walking the walk. Each day just kept being a promise of tomorrow I will start… And then the sin of procrastination overtook me.
So now after the months have turned into years and some recent spiritual attacks and stress have my adrenals shot along with my thyroid, and of course my pull to emotionally choose food to cope, has my body screaming at me from all directions.
I know I need – MUST -make a change.
I have been partially obeying, which at the end of the day, partial obedience is really just disobedience.
I have almost let the small foxes destroy the whole vine!
I feel like the clouds have finally lifted as I recently got away to a retreat with a great change of scenery and some amazing people. As I came home refreshed and renewed-Boom! I heard this song. I love how music speaks to me. I am taking and making it my Anthem.
I have the Power, His Divine Power – I have had it all along- but I am now activating and turning it ON!
I am relying on His perfect guidance in making some big changes and resting in His strength to do all that I can’t.
Whatever it is that has just about KO’d you, I invite you to stand up! Even if your knees seem shaky… Don’t let them count you out.
Stand up and declare these words with me….(and raise your hands into a fighter’s stance like Rocky!)
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
Turn up the volume and get ready to ROCK OUT!
~ XXOO Michelle Bollom
Fight Song by Rachel Platten
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
but I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep
And it’s been two years
I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
And I still believe
Yeah I still believe
And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
but I can make an explosion
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Now I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Phases, plateaus
Nobody knows
What tomorrow holds…
Levels of learning
Some fast
Some begrudgingly
But we must move on
To survive
Inhale, exhale
What the hell!!!
There has got to be
MORE
Than our routines
Set the clock
Turn it off
Clean the sink
Mess it up
Fast lanes
Slower traffic
Move or be ran over
Deposit, withdraw
Win, lose, applaud
We keep wanting
Working towards
Something more
Open the Door
Calgon…Please
Take us away
To a place where we can
Rest, relax, rejoice, receive
What our hearts are whispering
Leading us & guiding us
Because we have lost our way
We must find our way back
To the shepherd
And Bishop of our souls
❤️ Krystal Lynne
2/19/96
You were going astray like [so many] sheep, but now you have come back to the Shepherd and Guardian (the Bishop) of your souls. ~ 1 Peter 2:25 AMP
When I look at my wedding ring or band I am reminded of two loves in my life… Not just my beautiful wife but my beautiful Saviour Jesus Christ too.
You see when we place a ring on our fingers we promise or vow to be faithful, love unconditionally and a man and a woman become one together. A similar thing happens when you accept engagement with Jesus at the point of your salvation; You accept God’s invitation and you promise to follow only Him, He loves you unconditionally and most importantly God and you become one together.
Our bands fit over our finger like a tiny suit of armour, showing the world who we belong to and that we are off limits! But the moment we take that ring off, our armour is removed and the enemy will make its advances.
The Bible teaches that we ‘are in Christ and Christ in us’ when we know Jesus as our saviour. The ring on our finger demonstrates this perfectly… if the band represents Christ then we can clearly see that we are in Him. And when we close our fists then the ring is in us with just a tiny part of Christ being visible; The world sees just a glimmer of Christ in us you could say.
Over time I can see scratches and scuffs on my wedding ring and this reminds me of all we have been through together and not once during that time did Jesus ever leave me or love me less. Sadly I know that not all earthly marriages end well, people’s sin affects their character, unforgiveness can enter hearts and love can easily leave. But the good news is that there is no sin in Jesus, He never changes, He is always faithful and His love for you is eternal. After all He laid down His life, on a cross and He bled and died to save your life, now that’s true love, He is Mr. Right!
Jesus Christ rose from the dead and is alive today living and well, calling for you and waiting for you to turn to Him.
You may not see Jesus at this time because your back is towards Him, but if you turn around and look to Him you will see how beautiful and wonderful He is! Taking His hand will be the best decision you could ever make and will last for ever and its nothing to do with genders because this marriage ceremony is spiritual, permanent and will be performed in Heaven!
Getting engaged with Jesus Christ is easy, simply pray… ‘Jesus forgive me, Jesus come live in me.’
If you are married remember your vows, work at your marriage and love your spouse like Jesus loves you. Oh and wear your wedding band ring with pride to remind everyone you are loved on earth and also in Heaven. Now a Honeymoon in Heaven sounds good to me!
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