Restoration Stories – Emily Rosen

I have gained and lost 100 pounds

a few times

Up and down, down and up

My body has stretched

and shrunk rapidly

More than I knew

it could

Definitely more

than I ever wanted it to

To those who have never

had their weight fluctuate dramatically

it is hard for me to try and explain

what it’s like to be the same person

in so many different bodies

And it is really hard to explain

what it’s like

to have people treat you

completely differently

based solely

on how they see you

and your body

I remember

arriving at college

painfully slim

eager to please

and hungry

And I remember

when my best friend

passed away unexpectedly

just a few months

into my freshman year

finding myself eating

out of garbage bins

I put on 30 pounds that month

I couldn’t stop eating

I would stuff my face quite literally

till I was so full I would pass out

almost blacking out

from a food coma

and the pain of being so full

and so empty

simultaneously

I have been so thin

I could only shop

in the children’s section

for pants that fit me

And I have been so big

I could no longer fit into a size 16

It is not a fallacy

that people treat people differently

based on how they see them

and what they make that mean

I remember walking down

the hallways of my college dorm

50 pounds heavier than I had been that fall

and people who once greeted me gleefully

pretending not to see me at all

I was bigger

taking up more space

and felt invisible

When I was smaller

I would hear the whispers

the judgements

the speculations

and was constantly being questioned

about what I ate

And I was often celebrated

and attacked

in the same breath

by women who wanted to know

“my secret”

I haven’t weighed myself in 5+ years now

I plan to never weigh myself again

My weight has stabilized

drifting up and down a little

seasonally

But it’s so important to note

that weight

is not

an indication of healing

not necessarily

often not at all

I didn’t know what my body would look like

when I finally stopped starving, binging and purging

I had to trust it would find its way

and that was the hardest deep breath

I ever had to take

As I got healthier

I gained weight

And I remember sitting on the floor

of the bathroom

often

willing myself

not to purge

It was so hard

especially as people started commenting

on my weight gain

assuming I was binging

when I was actually eating less

than I had in years

I do want to stress that

someone’s weight

tells you very little about their relationship with food

There can be such a wide range of reasons

psychological, emotional, mental, hormonal, biological

for why someone’s weight

is what it is

I have been told

I looked “average” and “normal”

even “very healthy”

when I was secretly purging

60 times a day

I have been told I was too thin

when I was eating plenty

but was just so lit up by life

and in love with everything

I was rapidly burning off

everything that crossed my lips

In this picture

I was eating no more than 1,200 calories a day

and working out an hour a day

But my body was so freaked

it refused to drop

even the littlest bit of weight

It was sick of my abuse

and simply refused

to shift even a little

We do not know what someone “should” weigh

We do not know anything

about what is going on for a person

internally

just by looking at them

And we aren’t doing anyone a favor

by judging them

telling them how they should be different

or assuming we know

what is healthy for them

“Tough love” when it comes to body size

is often just a backhanded way

to make shaming okay

And as far as I am concerned

body shaming is never okay

Not to mention

it never actually helps people

get where they want to go

even if they do want to change

The road will always inform the destination

So my suggestion:

Get curious instead

with those around you

and yourself

Our challenges with food and body

are a doorway into

what might really be going on

They’re not something getting in our way

They are the way

And in my experience

they are presenting

for exquisitely tender reasons

reasons that might otherwise be missed

in the business of our day to day

Be gentle

Be kind

Be generous

Be smart

This is how we get to the heart of the matter

always with love and respect

for infinite mystery

I know for one

the girl in this picture

would have so appreciated

a question

instead of

endless assumptions

I imagine often

how different my twenties

would have been

if I knew what I know

now

and if I had been

questioned sincerely

instead of told often

that something was wrong with me

I suppose in many ways

if not all ways

this is why I share in the way I do

so those like me

don’t start thinking

they are crazy too

We do things for a reason

you and me

and there is nothing wrong with you

for reacting

and taking care of yourself

in the ways you know how to

It just might be time to do things

a little differently

if you are wanting something different

Be willing to go deep my friends

Be willing to do the work

And learn to love

the beautiful mystery

that is your body

❤️ Emily Joy Rosen

Image above of Emily referenced in her post

Lead image is Emily now.

Connect with Emily at The Empowered Woman

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Restoration Stories – Shanon Roberts 

Hello Friends! I am Shanon Roberts. A wife (celebrating 17 years in February!) and mother of two teenage daughters Kendra and Skye, with a sweet Labrador named Zep, a devoted Morkie named Sadie, and a feisty Doberman named Ollie. I am also a writer, designer and artist, whose calling is to love and nurture my family while also creatively encouraging, supporting and edifying other women on their unique journey with Christ.

This past year, His Year, has been a year of transformation. A year where I have learned through experience, more than ever before, what it is to die to self, or the flesh nature. In this season of transformation and dying, I have been empowered to truly LIVE. Let me explain…

In early October 2016, I found myself bawling like a blubbering baby in the driver’s side of my Toyota Camry on my way home from work. Only about ten minutes into the trip while listening to worship music, the Holy Spirit came over me in a very profound way, with a directive, “You only have twelve months to live.” Note I said directive, not sentence. At the time, my heart felt as though it was a sentence, but now I see where He intended it as a directive.

The encounter was so tangible, once I was home, I spoke with my husband – eyes puffy and swollen, snot seething, poor guy had no idea what he should do! I even called my girlfriend over, to ask her to help with our daughters, should something happen to me. I planned in my heart the conversation with another girlfriend, because she too would be a wonderful godly role-model for our children should I go home to meet my Maker.

The month of October, I continued to return to those moments. Praying, “Lord, if I really only have twelve months to live, what would you have me to do with the time left?” I sensed a variety of things. Love your husband. Quit your job! Love your children. Live it up! Do not go to bed angry. Eat all the things! Seek Me. Drink the wine! Pray. Write the words. Go where I need you to go. Trust where I’m taking you when you don’t know where you’re going. Remain in the will of God; for if that moment ever came to ascend to heaven on high, I did not want the Lord to say to me, “I never knew you. Get away from me…” (see Matthew 7:23). Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself (see Matthew 22:37-39). The latter verse was my life verse, had been for eight years.

Another, Exodus 34:10, He reminded me of, came from a gal who had prayed for me earlier that year and shared, “Listen, I am making a covenant with you in the presence of all your people. I will perform miracles that have never been performed anywhere in all the earth or in any nation. And all the people around you will see the power of the LORD–the awesome power I will display for you.” 

Both verses were revisited and remembered often throughout the course of this past year, when it felt like the kingdom of heaven and the darkness of hell were bopping me back and forth like an inflatable boxing bop bag from the 80’s. Anyone remember those? Fun as a child doing the punching, not so fun as an adult receiving the blows.

I declared 2017 to be HIS YEAR. I wrote it down. I made it the cover photo of my Facebook account (it’s still there if you would like to check it out). This year was going to be His Year. My arms were going to remain wide open and I was going to do my best to cooperate and allow Him to flow through my life in the way He needed to, for His glory and the sake of others, rather than resume in the fetal position if I got knocked down. 

The first couple of weeks seemed to be a foreshadow of things to come. I was ill. My children were ill. My grandfather-in-law went Home to be with the Lord just a few days before my husband and I’s wedding anniversary. This is still His year, I whispered to my soul.

Love your husband. We had experienced many a trial throughout the course of our marriage. God had brought transformation into our relationship. However, we found ourselves separated by night and day differences, as he drove to work at night and I left for my career by day. God really compelled me to press in MORE and believe for a day shift position. I did. My Sisters in Christ did. Perhaps a new shift would lead to alignment spiritually. I believed.

Love your children. Admittedly we had found ourselves in a rhythm of “busy”. God compelled me to pray for them intently, to be filled with His Spirit. He compelled me to write words for them in hopes of leaving an eternal inheritance for their lives, rather than only temporal. I did. He compelled us to set aside digital technology. We tried. We really did.
Do not go to bed angry. The painful reality I had not experienced just yet was that even Christian friends and family will disappoint. Folks will feel threatened, or entitled to judge, or in a position of superiority because of their “seniority” in the Kingdom. Some may just grow plain tired of hearing what God is doing in and through you. Many a night I had to pray, “Lord, help me not go to bed angry”. I also had to pray to not be angry with myself. For some reason, and maybe it’s just me, there was a thought that transformation takes place in an instant. I would become frustrated if I didn’t meet my standards, rather than allowing God’s grace to elevate me to each new place of change in HIS timing. When I didn’t succeed at not going to bed angry, I prayed for a song of worship when I awoke. A fresh beginning at the dawn of a new day.

Seek me. My morning routine continued to be getting into His Word first thing, followed by sharing a post and prayer, and then a half-hour of worship on my commute to work; this was a routine that took several years of attempt and fail to settle into. When at work, I was able to listen to worship music throughout the day, take walking breaks to pray, or listen to sermons from Pastors I trust God had placed in my life for His purposes. 

Pray. I would pray almost all the time, asking God to always be very present in my life, speaking to my heart.

Write the words. I struggled at first, but finally solidified His desire to compile and write Rise Up! Devotions, and released this year. A book once created only for my daughters was now going to be shared with others. I wrestled with giants of inadequacy, fear, failure, the inability to properly edit and identify grammar errors, and promoting. Oh how I loathe promoting. I wanted people to see God alone. Not see me and potentially have it twisted in their minds I was promoting self. But it wasn’t my place to assume. I followed Him, and released the book April 13th, on Amazon.

Go where I need you to go. Among the seeking and praying and writing, He was orchestrating a few mission trips. In March, He sent me to San Juan, Dominican Republic for medical missions with my place of employment. 

Remember the darkness of hell that was contending? Well it took several full on swings while I was in the DR. I grew very ill with a virus and dehydration, combined with what was later speculated by my home doctor to be ZIKA. There was a battle for sure, but I witnessed my husband connect with other men for the Kingdom of God, and I believed it was all worth it. Upon return, my husband began working the day shift at a new organization that was an answer to our desperate prayers. 

God was moving.

In May, He sent me to Guatemala for another medical mission with my place of employment. Again, I became very ill. The illness this time was worse than before, and also required IV medication and saline, just so I could get on a plane to get home. Fear struck me to the core. Anxiety I had been delivered from tried to rear its ugly head. My body wanted to react in ways it hadn’t in years. I seemed to be losing control of my faculties. But I did not lose control of the grip I had on my Savior, and the Word and promises He had spoken to my heart: all the people around you will see the power of the LORD… love the Lord with all your heart and love others too. I decided to write and share. I also decided to continue on with the thirty-one days of prayer He had placed on my heart to lead within the online Rise Up Community. And as surely as I write and you read this in your jammies with a cup of coffee (or tea) on a Saturday morning in November, I near instantly felt the enemy flee at my obedience to the Lord. I made it home.

In June, He again sent me. This time, I would return to a different part of the Dominican Republic and as a chaperone for my daughters who have hearts for mission ministry. Thankfully, I did not grow ill on this trip, as I was proactive in my preparation weeks beforehand. PLUS – I had a message on my heart God was preparing within me. Courageous humility. 

The result of the prayer vigil, and a phrase, that would later become an online six week study. Near the end of June, however, I found a lump on my chest. A doctor’s appointment became a mammogram, a mammogram became an ultrasound, and an ultrasound became a biopsy. I thought, “This is it. This is what He’s prepared me for. My twelve months are almost up.”

The enemy’s blow had me lying on the side of self-pity, defeat and tempted to not move forward with the Courageous Humility study. But the wind of the Spirit came rushing in, lifting me up, and positioning me to stand. The day we kicked off the study, is the day I had a biopsy of the solid mass lurking within the tissue of my femininity. Two days later the report came. Cancer free. 

Keep going. But I couldn’t. I was tired. Overwhelmed. The wind that had so quickly picked me up and set me on my feet, seemed to be sucked right out of me, like a helium balloon on a child’s birthday – but it wasn’t funny. I needed to rest. My doc agreed. Rather than prescribe medications, she instructed rest, laughter and conversation. Yes please, and thank you!

I was able to give the Lord my all for the Courageous Humility study. I was able to spend time with my daughters. I was able to tend the needs of my home. I was able to hear the Lord. My heart for you is your home. It always has been. It always will be. Love your husband. Love your children. Love your community. Help others. Glorify me. Focus on encouraging other women. Focus on your community. Missions may come later. 

In early August, I received the call to again pray. Literally. The Call organization publicly announced on July 27th they were hosting a day of prayer in Washington D.C. on October 9th, titled Rise Up.  Naturally I thought I would be going. Supernaturally, God had something else in mind.

As I sought the Lord in prayer and asked others to pray for clarity, I 100% wanted to go and was ready, but wasn’t 100% sure that’s what He wanted. I sensed I was alone in my prayers. I sensed others, for whatever reason, were exasperated with my requests (after the year I had had at that point, the requests seemed without ceasing) and unable to support in prayer or presence. I desperately clung to the Lord. Only the Lord and carpet threads within my closet hold the secrets and understand the desperation and magnitude of my heartfelt cries. He DIDN’T want me to go. He wanted me to stay and pray in my own community. Not just on October 9th, but every Sunday morning leading up to it.

Right away a place came to mind, in proximity to the courthouse, where I would spend my Sunday mornings. Thank you, God. My first inquiry regarding the space was shadowed with doubt. My second, received with a resounding yes, plus a discount on the space for the day! My invitation to over half the churches in my community and county resulted in one response. One. The Wind remained beneath my wings (thank you, Bette Midler, we’re thinking of your song now!). He continued keeping me upright as week after week I circled the courthouse alone, praying as His Holy Spirit led.

During this time, the Courageous Humility study was brought to a close, and underwent the process of being compiled for a book publication. In parallel, the thirty-one days of prayer in May were captured and also converted to book format. Just for kicks and giggles, the Lord allowed me the opportunity to express my artistic gift once again, and I created works of art for a local exhibit. The main presentation? Jesus at the center of my husband and children. Oh, “Praise God!” you may be thinking, the be-bops from the enemy stopped! Not exactly.

Storms were brewing and downpours came flooding in. My daughter, also experiencing spiritual warfare, was in the throes of her own battle. The Holy Spirit had provided insight and we were slowly working through her challenges. The weekend before I was to travel south to a statewide prayer meeting, all hail broke loose in our home. True colors were revealed. Motives made known. The remnants of spiritual, mental and emotional hail damage lie all around. As if it wasn’t enough to tempt me to stay home rather than go, no measures from the enemy were withheld and I found myself smacked right in the rear of my vehicle by traffic. Are. You. Kidding me?!

Hard conversation and a little loopy, later, I resolved to go to the prayer meeting the next day, regardless. I knew I needed to be there. That evening I hopped in our old beater car to drive down, when one last ditch effort to hinder my obedience came. The car would go no faster than idle. I turned it into the drive of a field, turned off the ignitions and CRIED OUT! “What is going on? I’m trying to do YOUR will! Why is all of this happening?! Car! You are going to start and I am going to get to this prayer meeting, and that’s that!” I turned the ignition, the car started, and I safely made the two hour drive there and back, to the prayer meeting. 

A meeting which was Spirit filled and fanned the flame within my heart to proceed, regardless of the drama. Regardless of the opposition. Regardless of the whiplash. Regardless of no response. Do for God as He has done for you…REGARDLESS.

Two weeks later I reserved the space. A week after that, I released Courageous Humility and Rise & Pray on Amazon. A piece of artwork I had submitted for a magazine had been accepted for their cover. My vacation was approved, it was time to pray and fast. God met me in my prayer closet more than once. He instructed me to maintain distance in some relationships, but to grow closer in others. He reminded me that He had been moving to draw loved ones in as He had placed it on my heart to share gifts, and crochet (not to be confused with macramé, but fun to say) afghans, and feed and nurture with food and the Word, those who at one point had been faithful supporters. He compelled me to pray for the healing and assured me, I may very well be the only one to show up on the day of prayer, but He would be there.

And He was. On October 9th, God was with me all day. Six people showed up to believe God with me, two of which were my daughters. Another showed up by “coincidence”, and we had a good conversation. A shift took place that day. The twelve month anniversary of the directive was on October 9th as well, and I was alive. ALIVE in CHRIST like I had never been before! Thoughts and worries and concerns I had held on to before seemed to pass away. There was a much larger part of my flesh finding itself six feet under in the spiritual earth God had prepared. Old things passing. God, now with a vessel ready for something new, full of trust in His unending faithfulness and love.

In the few weeks since then, God has confirmed to me to be connected to teaching and encouraging. He has restored my artistic gift (a gift and talent I laid on the alter years ago for the sake of my family), to creatively serve others. He moved me to create an online portfolio that captures all He has done and is doing in this life. 

Recently, that portfolio was viewed for a prospective job opportunity with someone who declares the Kingdom, and loves Jesus, and considered me for a full-time position as a graphic designer for an online education program in the medical device industry. Following the position interview and much prayer, God made it clear to continue on right where I am, to better serve both my family and others via His established online ministry.

He is establishing new connections with others through the artwork on the cover of the magazine, released on October 20th. He has also transformed the Courageous Humility study from what began as an online study, to content on the YouVersion Bible App, and promoted this ministry to partnering with YouVersion as a Content Partner. 

He also seems to be inching the door open to speak and share with others.

God is Good! He TRANSFORMS and RESTORES! He will transform the soul willing to keep their arms, eyes, ears and hearts wide open to the Spirit of the living God within them. If we are willing to die to self and truly live for the Lord, He will keep us and see us through when the enemy attempts to reclaim his ground. God will restore, if we will humble ourselves and allow Him to do as He needs for a season, and trust Him to give it back again, when we are able to glorify Him with the gift He provides. And if He doesn’t give it back, His heart is happy when we are content with Him alone.

Be well. Be encouraged. Be transformed and restored by a faithful God whose love and mercy endures forever. God bless.

Connect with Shanon 

Instagram: @shanon_roberts

Website: shanonroberts.com
Ministry~

Facebook & Instagram: @riseupdevotions

Website: riseupdevotions.com

Restoration Stories – Stephanie Palmer 

I am a people person, always have been. People intrigue me, and I have a desire to know about each person. Probably why one of my favorite jobs was at the mall. I would meet practically every type of person on a daily basis. And it some how filled my heart to get to know each of them and somehow make there day special. I didn’t always understand why, but as I look back, I can see how God was able to use that to speak to many who would not have been spoken to otherwise.

Lately as I look around, I see all kinds of people. They range in age and background. Some have money, some are doing there best to get by. Some are very educated and some have little schooling for one reason or another. But, one thing that they all have in common is that they all have a past. As far as I know, none of us, were just beamed down one day from the heavens.

And with a past, comes some sort of baggage. 

Now, maybe some of you only have good baggage, and that’s great. But, it has been my experience that most folks tend to carry the beat up, dirty, stinkin’ kind of baggage from their past with them as they go through this life. I mean the good stuff is in there, but our day to day lives tend to be affected more dominantly by the things that went wrong in our past, the things that we would change if given the opportunity. And this kind of baggage, is the kind that is heavier than we were ever meant to carry. 

The kind that causes us to have mental, spiritual and even physical issues that change the very way that we live our lives. If we let it.

When I was around 7 or 8, I had an experience happen to me that changed who I was. I don’t speak of it often, unless the Lord brings it to mind for use in His Kingdom, so not many people know this about me. It was something that happened with a man who crossed a line physically in an appropriate way, and for me, it was like a switch was flipped on in my life that I was not emotionally or mentally equipped to deal with.

And here is what it ultimately did. It changed who I was on the inside. And it changed who I became on the outside. One moment after it happened, I was changed. The little girl who was innocent and care free, became confused and tainted…in a moment. And it muddied up everything else in my life as I went forward. It took me down a road that I never should have gone down. And I began making life altering decisions based on this one moment in time.
The enemy began to use this encounter as a weapon of confusion against me for many years. And it contaminated the young woman that I was supposed to become. 

In that moment, which was literally a smaller time frame than it takes to microwave a cup of coffee, the enemy tried to take my purpose. 

In John 10:10, it says that the enemy comes to “steal, kill, and destroy”. And on that day, he tried to do just that, take the purpose from a little girl, before she even knew what the word “purpose” meant.

And just like he has done to so many others, starting way back in the garden of Eden, he handed me a set of lenses and said “put these on, and you’ll see things more clearly”.
But, really, everything and everyone began to look distorted and I became very confused about life and the value that I held in this world.

I became broken on the inside.

Years later, the Lord showed me something that changed the way that I processed my original experience.
He took me back to the place where it all began, to the place where I was hurt. He asked me if I felt justified to keep feeling hurt and angry. I told Him that I did. I was hurt, and I was just a kid, so, yes, I deserved to feel hurt. I was a victim so if I went into a court of law, I would win the “case” against the person that hurt me.
He said, “you are right, you are completely justified on all levels. But…if you choose to carry ‘being right’ in your bag, there are things attached”. What did He mean?

He said that if I continued to carry my hurt, my confusion, my anger, my trauma, justified or not. I had to also carry shame, bitterness, heaviness, brokenness, and all the other things that were attached to it. And ultimately, the enemy would use those things as a doorstop, to prop open the door of my life to the things that HE wanted me to carry…I would then be serving HIS purpose. He said that I would carry it in my mind, my spirit…and ultimately my body. And eventually, it would contaminate everything in my life going forward, it would even make me sick in body if I continued down that road.

And with that choice, I could never grow in Him…not fully. The weight of what I was carrying, would be too heavy for me to bear and go forward in Him. I would continue to walk in circles, never forward, never completely free. It would be like a bungee cord that would pull me right back to the start every time I tried to step into what He had for me.

I began to cry, but through the tears, I began to think about what I valued more my broken past…or HIS victorious future. I wanted what God had for me and I wanted to be free from all that the enemy had put in my bag so many years ago. And once I understood, that I had to lay one down, to pick the other things up, it got easier. 

And I was able to move forward.

It was on that day, that I laid my hurt, brokenness, confusion, insecurities, anger, and all else that came with it, at the foot of the Cross. Since I did that, God has been able to use me in ways that I never dreamed.

I will not say that I never revisit those wounds. But, I will say that when I do, it is much like a scar. It is numb to the touch, and it is only visible enough, that I am able to show others how far God has brought me so that they can see hope for the wounds that they may be carrying. 
See, scars show up, so that others can see where we’ve been, but they are no longer bleeding wounds, when our healing is complete.

I will not allow the enemy continue to use them as a weapon against me. I will not even give them a forum, unless God is using them to help someone else. I will not speak of them as though they belong to me BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO JESUS! And if I continually revisit them, it’s like I’m taking them back, and I don’t want them back. 

I had to forgive the person that hurt me, because hurt people, hurt people, and to be forgiven, we must forgive.

My prayer for whoever is seeing this, is that if you are hurt, ask the Lord to give you strength and wisdom to let go of that hurt. Unload your bag of hurts at His feet. Don’t allow the enemy to use them against you for one more second!

And let Him heal those places in you that have kept you going in circles. 

A tethered bird can never leave the ground…It can never fly. 
You were meant to fly. 

Don’t settle for the enemies sad imitation of life on the ground, lean in and let God give you wings!

In Him is not only Life, but LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY!! (John 10:10)

“He RESTORES my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3)

~Stephanie Copeland Palmer 

    “Leave Them There” 

Restoration Stories – Dawn Baker 

Can we talk? Can we keep it real? 

How many of us have had, or still have, such incredible Pain, gut wrenching pain? 

Denying its existence is as absurd as denying we have an enemy. What we don’t do is allow pain control. Jabez made Pain known. Both he and Job give us HOPE, right? Anyone else, besides me, ready for Restoration?

Personally, I have known pain, through uncommon losses, since I was a little girl. I lost my best friend when I was only 5 years old, my sister and my father before I was even 20 years old. Then nearly losing my own life in my 20’s while pregnant in an abusive marriage. I’ve lost family, friends, suffered pain all of my life. In the last year and a half, I’ve lost my mother, my pastor/prophet Kim Clement, and most recently my little girl in fur, Mya. But, my deepest pain comes from losing my only child, having my daughter leave consumed with anger, 5 very long years ago. Clearly, pain has been a part of my process and without a doubt, I have questions. Who doesn’t? 

But, in the midst of it all, there is a deep love for God, wrapped in mammoth size trust, laced with eternal purpose. It doesn’t mean I understand; I don’t. I don’t have all the answers. I hurt in ways no one knows but God; yet, I choose to “trust”.

One thing I have learned; I have learned the importance of altars.

I’ve learned that NO ONE can take what I offer to God. I have offered much to HIM on those altars, including my daughter. I gave her to Him before she was ever born and several times since. So, again, with my heart aching, I lift her to God saying,

“I will not offer YOU that which cost me nothing.”
I’ve also learned, there is another altar and I can’t forget it. I must build this altar and then I must crawl up on it myself. Just as I am. Because it’s me God wants, just me, all of me.

“So, Here I am Lord. Consume me; Withholding Nothing.”

Real Talk on Real Pain – click here to see more from Dawn Baker 

Restoration Stories – Nichole Marbach 


A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.~ John 10:10 The Message 



Watch Nichole’s Amazing Restoration Story here:

For more information visit her website http://www.nicholemarbach.com 

Connect with Nichole on Facebook :

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Nichole-Marbach-Ministries-671686192892643/

Restoration Stories – Joann Carpenter 

I have walked with some of the shadiest characters–drug cartels and drunken fools–and put those closest to me in danger to witness my own twisted downfall. 

I’ve suffered near death experiences through abuse from the hand of man and my own choices- I am only alive because of the Father

After hitting my knees crying out to the Father “Help me I can’t do this anymore,” HE, after allowing me to walk 24-years in rebellion, addiction and tragedy, stopped time and reached inside of me and pulled 24 years of victim mentality, addiction (smoking cigarettes and pot, drinking, occasional cocaine, and sexual desires) right out of me. YHSVH began at an accelerated rate restoring all that the enemy has taken and multiplied His goodness.

After the Angel of The Lord came to me in 2011 revealing who I was as a prophet and oracle, He began to train and equip me for the revealing of this position, laying a foundation for what was to come. I have been anointed and equipped with the honor to serve the King of kings, Lord of lords, opening the blind eyes, deaf ears and command the lame to walk into the deeper, hidden mysteries of heaven, revealing our true identity. It is here, His original blueprints over our lives and all of creation manifest on earth as it is in heaven.

I am a sister, mother, daughter, wife, YHSVH (Jesus) friend, minister, Kingdom Dweller, Son(position) of G-d, Author of a New upcoming book  “NAVIGATING THE ASHES-Discovering Your Blueprints”, owner of Arising Sons of God and public speaker. I operate from the Government of Heaven as an administrator/legislator—All for the advancement of the Kingdom of Heaven, as it is all about Him and His Glory to be revealed. All of Him, none of me.   

Some Scriptures I really love:
He said to them, “Therefore every teacher of the law who has become a disciple in the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old.” Matthew 13:52 NIV

For in Him we live and move and exist [that is, in Him we actually have our being], as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children Acts 17:28 AMP

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 KJV

If you would like to sow into what YHVH is doing reaping what you sow, then I encourage you to visit my webpage mentioned below.
To contact me, donate-trade via “Paypal” or read “Joann’s Blog’s” see website:

http://arisingsonsofgod.com/

*If you prefer to write a check, make checks payable to: 

Joann Carpenter

P.O. Box 1791

Mt. Vernon, WA 98273

Restoration Stories – Gypsy Dallas Smith 

Many of you don’t know much about me except what you see me writing about. 

However, I want you to know that it has only been since the beginning of this year that my writing ministry has taken off. 

I used to write publicly for my local newspaper (faith articles) for 8 years. I had a very active ministry and was a licensed minister.

After 17years of a very unhealthy toxic marriage I went through a horrible divorce. 

I gave up everything, including my ministries. I laid it all at Jesus feet. I was lied about, shunned, and condemned and ran into a cave by Jezebel and her cronies. I was completely stripped and devastated.

But Jesus never left me. 
I have been in hiding and healing for the last 5 years. I have not served in any ministry nor have I become a member of any church. I have allowed the Holy Spirit to minister to me. I have been in a deep season of consecration fasting and prayer. It hasn’t all been spiritual though.

I was stubborn and God had and still has a lot of work to do in me. Years of ridicule, abuse, control and manipulation do not go away overnight.

Jesus has been such a gentleman and gently pulling one layer away at a time. I am sharing this with you because I want you to know that we all have our seasons that we must go through. 

Some longer than others.

Over the last 2 years I became a Personal Trainer and opened my own fitness studio. It was a blessed business where I had to turn clients away I was so busy. But secretly I missed writing. God asked me to lay it down. So I did at the end of last year.

Since the beginning of March I have had more happen to me, through me and for me in ministry than I can even wrap my head around.

God is opening doors that I could never open on my own. He is making room for my gifts of writing and stretching me through making videos and teaching through webinars. 

Friends, it is all happening so fast and I am in awe of what God is doing. 
My prophetic voice has opened like never before. 
God is RESTORING everything I lost and gave up. He is blessing me and I am so excited for this time.

I used to look at others being blessed and used by God and wonder, “when is my time Lord?” 

Well, I can tell you the time is now. Many of you have experienced the same hardships, the same cave, the same wilderness time. 
I am here to tell you that we are in a season of RESTORATION God is restoring. 
He is paying you back. You will get back double for your trouble in less time. You are not going to have to work hard for these blessings. You won’t have to go looking for opportunities, they will come looking for you. Your time is now, your healing is now, your blessings are now, your opportunities are now!! We are in a season of NOW. 
A season of suddenlies.
Get ready for the downpour. 

God isn’t saying look at what I am GOING to do for you. No, He is saying, “look at what I HAVE done for you.” 
You are going to be completely undone this year with Gods goodness. It will overtake you and you will be on your face in awe of His love for you. 
Get ready NOW!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. ~ Romans 8:28 NKJV 

~ Gypsy Dallas-Smith 
  Year Of Restoration 

To connect with Gypsy Dallas Smith visit her website here 

Restoration Stories – Earl “Bubba” Wiegand 

Earl “Bubba” Wiegand is a true walking miracle.  

The adversity he has overcome and is still overcoming daily has not been an easy path.  

Growing up amidst the grips of alcohol on both his parents; Earl lost his mother at just 10 years old due to her alcoholism.  

Alcohol was all Earl knew.  

Alcohol was his coping mechanism taught at a very young age.  

Earl’s dad Bo, would later only become sober after two DWI’s.  

As history has a way of repeating itself within families, Earl continued on that same destructive path that caused his wife of 20 + years and his two children to be separated from him and at his lowest point he chose to drown his sorrows of spending the upcoming Holiday alone with a day of drinking.  

November 27th, 2013 was the day that resulted in him making an almost fatal mistake of drinking and driving. Although he doesn’t remember the events, he spent 43 days in a coma and doctors doubted he would survive after he suffered what doctors refer to as an internal decapitation.  

Earl is not sure of the significance of the 43 days lost in a Coma, the loss of his independence, the loss of his main source of income by losing his job of 15 years, and the loss of his marriage of 23 years, but he trusts God fully with the plans and purposes of it all. 

Although his story didn’t turn out as he had wished or planned, he was charged with a DWI and had to re-learn how to walk and talk, but is thankful for each day that he is still here and given another chance at life.

Earl is learning to live life within a new normal. He is learning to trust God and grow deeper with the Lord.  

Earl doesn’t dwell on all the loss as he has now gained so much more.  

Earl has been delivered completely from his desire for alcohol and is determined to break the hold of alcohol on his life, his families life, and future generations. He desires to educate others on the importance of not drinking and driving. 

He hopes by sharing his testimony it can help others overcome their struggles and losses. 

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13

“Be still, and know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10

Even in hard times when things are not going the way you want have faith that God has bigger plans ahead. -Earl 8:15 

To schedule Earl to speak at your school or youth events-contact us at Restored Ministries

Roadside Testimony  

For March Restoration Stories we have a special treat for you. 

The Delusion ladies headed out and had some car trouble. A nice man pulled them over to help and Laura Gallier captured his testimony on the video below.

Meet Kevin:

“It became more than roadside assistance. It was a divine appointment we didn’t expect on our way to our destination.” 

“Sometimes disappointments can be made into appointments.” 

Kelley Allison 

bowlofsplendor.com 

You can check out the Delusion by Laura Gallier and the project we are working on HERE

Coming soon to a bookstore and coming sometime not as soon to a theater near you

Lead image is us hanging with next new friend Tommy Brasher at Brasher Motor Company of Weimar, TX

He helped us get the job done faster and we got to our destination just a little past check in time.