In The Presence Of Love

We walk with our pain

The scars that no one sees

Our masks tightly on

We let no one in

We smile

We laugh

Our hearts a mystery 

Too busy to stand still

To lift the veil on our pasts and our pain

Who would want to hear a sad song?

The ghosts we are running from

The brokenness we hide

The fears we ignore

The scars of childhood trauma 

Anger, stress and depression 

Rule and guide our lives

Everyone expects us to be strong 

We only exist

We never truly live!!!

Jesus is drawing us with His love

To deal with tombs 

Take our grave clothes off

The inner chamber awaits the desperate 

Healing is only a breath away

Nothing is impossible when we 

take time to stand still

In His holy, sacred presence 

He rebuilds our lives

Deals with shame

Heals our scars

As His love flows like billows 

over our brokenness 

We begin to see ourselves 

through His eyes

When we encounter His heart

The extent Jesus will go…

Our hearts begin to beat again 

Sons and daughters are forever 

changed in the presence of LOVE…

— Ebigale Wilson

#awakeningthesons

#PoeticallyProphetic 

#EbigaleWilson

A Better Way

It was starting to rain just like a bad break-up movie scene.

I could barely hold it all in until I got in my truck.

I couldn’t believe they used the rouse of celebrating me and my Birthday to publicly try to humiliate me in a public place during a peak busy lunch hour.

But in reality, God was already preparing me that something was going down. He had me praying in the Spirit for days. He was building me up to withstand their evil tear down.

God told me to not protest or cancel but to go along with the plan. I obeyed God.

Yep, it turned out exactly as I had suspected. They loved the Real Housewives show so they thought it could go down like that … but it didn’t.

God had his hand so tight over my mouth and He was holding me up through it all.

I walked out and into the rain straight to my truck and never glanced back as I saw the windshield now began to blur from the rain falling outside and the tears now streaming from my eyes.

Oh’ I was shattered and hurt and had just been deeply betrayed by someone that just a few weeks prior introduced me to everyone at their new church as their closest and very best friend.

Sidenote: Long before that I never really liked the use or term of “Best Friend” and I still don’t like it and reserve that spot only for Jesus.

But that is how the enemy worked and works. He will distort and divide and then offense comes in and this person only hears what someone else was feeding them – hate jealousy revenge – not the love truth closeness and strength we had shared in over a decade of friendship.

Oh’ I snotted and fumed and was in shock for a couple days. My heart ached and I wanted to say so much – but I didn’t.

God spoke to my heart … You can keep rehearsing or you can get busy releasing this .. all of this …to Me.

So, that is what I did.

Every time my mind went there – every time my heart burned with the sting of betrayal,

I took it to God.

It didn’t happen overnight …

It actually took almost a full year before I could pray more than just “Lord bless them and heal my heart.” (And mean it!) And that was through a bit of gritted teeth.

I ain’t gonna lie – I wanted to pray like David in some of the Psalms how he prays for God to take care of his enemies….harshly …

But this person was not the enemy – nor was the others involved in this… the real enemy was the evil one that works through people.

Then God did something extraordinary – Miraculous; you could say….

He made a much better way from this broken way.

He revealed that many times I held their opinion higher than my obedience to Him. Ouch!

It wasn’t pretty.

I sat repenting and asking God to forgive me and help me to fully forgive them and myself.

God brought so much abundance out of this broken way! It was amazing the things and doors that opened up when I was set free from this past alignment that was hindering God’s assignments.

Yes, even what we think is such a deep Divine Connection from God can be derailed by the enemy and sometimes even God will need to rip it away to make a better way.

I choose my inner circle very wisely and keep it quite small these days.

Now almost 7 years later my heart is fully healed from this betrayal but I do remember it from time to time – like today when my Time Hop brings back a memory or someone needs prayer for a deep betrayal they are experiencing and can’t imagine the hurt ever healing.

Or like yesterday when I reshared a post on Facebook about a completely different situation of betrayal that had people flooding my DM and texting me asking if or what it was or sharing their own stories with me …(my twin sister even was ready to take someone out if she needed to. (🤣)

Truly and sincerely I can now thank God for the memories and the lessons and especially for their Gift Of Goodbye.

It was the absolute best gift I ever received from them – and they gave it to me on my actual Birthday!

What they and the enemy meant for evil God used it for my greater good! I trust Him fully to sift the wheat from the chaff. I hold on loosely to everything and everyone but Christ.

We will all be wounded at some point – many of God’s best warriors have been. It is important you get the time you need to heal and press in to God deeper. He promises to bind up your wounds and heal your heart.

You can keep rehearsing or you can start releasing ….

I pray you will begin to release and heal from whatever betrayal or hurt you have experienced.

— XXOO 😘Michelle Bollom

God has thousands of unknowns I don’t know about. Sometimes what I think is the worst possible situation actually turns out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I am learning to be less sure of myself and more sure of God. ~Jan Johnson

He does wonderful things, even confounding things,and performs an infinite number of miracles. ~Job 9:10 The VOICE

He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow]. ~Psalm 147:3 AMP