My Battlefield Will Become My Harvest Field

Some may not know all the specifics of my medical history and how God has showed up and healed me in some pretty amazing ways.

I am still believing for more healings and to tackle taking better care of myself.

So here it is …I am laying it all out here…

At 20 I was diagnosed with Thyroid disease and put on meds. I was also diagnosed with Chronic fatigue syndrome.

At 27 I had a procedure done for removal of endometriosis and some adhesions.

At 28 I had a procedure to enlarge my bladder for interstitial cystitis after chronic bladder infections.

At 29 I had twins – 6 weeks early but weighing in at full term. I hemorrhaged twice afterwards with the C section and had some complications.

At 29 I was put on anxiety meds for post pardom depression.

At 30 my back was going out weekly and had to have steroid injections. I had some bulging discs and female issues that were later discovered.

At 31 I had a complete & total hysterectomy for an enlarged uterus, my gallbladder removed because it was completely non functioning and some adhesions removed all at the same time.

At 31 I was placed on high doses of HRT – by the time the anesthesia was wearing off my hysterectomy I was in full blown menopause about to lose my mind. Menopause with 2 year old twins!

At 34 after many years of steroids for my back and asthma and chronic bronchitis and just overwhelmed with a corporate job and twins I spent a week in the hospital due to a colitis infection due to extreme stress.

At 35 I left the corporate world to stay home with my twins.

At 36 my brother Toby died suddenly.

My drinking and smoking and eating

was out of control.

I was very depressed and angry at God.

My Dad also was very sick and hospitalized for 2 years at the same time. High stressful times but I found my way back to God and left all religion for a personal relationship with Christ.

At 37 I stopped smoking.

At 38 I suffered a stroke. 1.8.08 –

8 is my favorite number still!

At 38 I was told to stop drinking alcohol due to elevated Liver Enzymes and Fatty Liver. I didn’t drink again until 2013.

At 38 I was diagnosed Diabetic – couldn’t take meds – ended back in hospital with severe kidney issues and cellulitis infection on my face. Taken off all diabetes meds and within 4 /5 years reversed my diabetes and A1C to pre diabetic numbers, lost 65 pounds with a very strict diet and exercise.

At 39 had severe muscle bridging in heart detected after a failed stress test – had a angiogram / Heart Cath and the cardiologist couldn’t find it after the scans and other tests confirmed it. I had so many people pray over me before the test I know it was God that healed me! Has not returned and last stress test was perfect.

At 39 I went back to work part time.

At 40 diagnoses with rare eye condition Retinoscisis where retina is split down the middle in both eyes.

At 40 put on higher doses of thyroid meds due to Hashimoto’s and secondary hypothyroidism diagnoses.

At 41 had a bike crash – broke 3 ribs, collarbone, collapsed lung – damaged an adrenal and went back into menopause with 13 year old twins and was put back on HRT meds. Menopause round 2 with teenagers!

At 42 left working outside the home to go into full time ministry.

At 44 due to a family history of breast cancer and many issues myself and biopsies I was taken off all HRT Therapy. Biopsies all clear.

At 45 diagnosed with another rare eye condition called Poly Choroidal Vasculopathy

(PCV) after losing all eyesight in my left eye for several months. I have since regained sight but limited – but am still believing I will be healed completely and sight fully restored.

At 46 while getting prayer for my eyes I was prayed for and told that God wanted to give a new Thyroid – I laughed but said I will take it!

I have been off all Thyroid meds for 2 years!

Praise God my hypothyroidism / Hashimoto’s and secondary hypothyroidism was all healed!

At 47 – last December, I ended up in hospital for 4 days – tests upon tests ran – 7 biopsies – 2 came back inconclusive for Celiac and Chrohn’s. They also ran my thyroid numbers daily trying to disprove my story that my thyroid was healed by Jesus after prayer. They couldn’t find a thing wrong with my thyroid. They had me on 7 different pills and 2 injections until I refused all meds those last days because they were making me sicker and they were just throwing stuff to see if it stuck without a diagnosis coming back.

I was very discouraged and wanted a firm diagnosis – it didn’t come.

God said don’t let the diagnosis define you – been there done that bought the T-shirt for far too long – He said it’s about trust and surrender – UGH! 2 things I have a hard time with! Of Course!

Now at 48 – I take no RX meds.(years ago I took almost 6 RX meds daily!)

My A1C has creeped up slightly to 5.6 from 5.4 (which is a far cry from 9 at the time of my stroke 10 years ago) my cholesterol is elevated but mainly due to hereditary type and my poor diet choices. I stopped statin drugs after 10 years and refuse to go back on them.

I have gained 30 pounds back of the 65 in the last 10 years – (on top of the 20/30 I still needed to lose so actually I have gained and lost this same 30 pound over and over the last couple years.

Even using some drastic diets that totally changed how I carry the weight and wrecked my muscle tone. But I did have an amazing fasting experience and lots of downloads – you can see our blog for those.

So I have a good 50 pounds I need to lose now.

I stopped running in 2013 – and stopped really consistently exercising at all in 2015 and have struggled to get into a better exercise routine since.

I have done some amazing things in my life and in Ministry – I have awesome kiddos and a jackpot of a husband. I wrote and published 9 books in less than 2 years. I even recently published 3 the last month for friends.

I run a non profit Restored Ministries full time.

Life’s been really good! I wasn’t eating or not taking care of myself because life was bad.

I just stopped planning or worrying about it and ate way too much take out while the hubs was traveling the last year or so.

I share All of this to say ….

Still – some days a counterfeit comfort feels more powerful or soothing to me than the Great Comforter Himself.

I know what to do… But I don’t always do it.

I can get into moods where I put everyone and everything else first but me.

I carry others burdens that are not mine to carry.

I know the steps – I know it works if I work it ( my recovery) but sometimes rebellion wins over my recovery.

I abstained from all alcohol since 2013 because I am not a one drink kinda girl and have chosen to abstain now for over 5 years. (Except recently I drank a beer and knew that with one beer – it would set me back if I did not make the choice daily to abstain completely.)

I help lead a Ministry for recovery for emotional eating and still I struggle after 10 years letting God fill the voids and not Cheetos. I am not a hypocrite – you can help lead others while you are struggling.

It’s called Keepin It Real. Progress not Perfection.

I love God immensely and know He is able but I also have to do my part. Which I have not been.

I find myself here now – again – flabby and fat and dreading the work I know it takes to regain my health. But I know God doesn’t love me any less when I fall short, Or more when I am thinner.

On August 4th I started Plant Paradox.

Initially as a way to keep my Thyroid in top shape since Kelly Clarkson said that is what healed her Hashimoto’s and helped her lose almost 40 pounds.

In 12 days I lost 11 pounds and the hubs lost 6 (he didn’t have weight to lose but agreed to do it with me) we were super excited with the results and then we went on Vacation for 12 days. I didn’t follow the plan even though I wanted to and had every intention of doing so.

I thankfully only gained 4 pounds but quickly lost 2 of the 4 the first week back.

The last few days the 2 pounds are back and I have allowed some life issues and emotions to drive me to the bread instead of the Bread of Life.

I really would prefer a magic pill but God continues to deal with me about counterfeits and putting my Health first and to find a better Balance. I must honor His Temple better.

My Journey may not be a perfect one –

OK – So, I know it will not be a perfect one.

But it’s my journey and God’s to figure out.

So I Keep Keeping On Folks – It’s worth it because I am worth it. You are too!

You are never too far gone to begin again.

The devil is a liar. God’s will is to heal us.

He wants us restored and whole –

Mind Body Soul!

So I am declaring:

I am Healed

I walk in Divine Health

My body is being restored and transformed.

(I am also committing to the work it will take to do my part)

I am not buying the lies or beating myself up.

I am hoping my “At 49” is going to be pretty amazing!

Until then – I got some work to do!

Will you agree with me and pray for me?

I just keep things real because that is the only way we can heal.

Being in denial will never deliver anybody.

Hope my being real and raw – showing my vulnerability will encourage you to make a change if you need to too!

So slap that cake right outta my mouth if you see it!

~ XXOO Michelle

The image is by Dana Jarvis- I so receive it!

My Battlefield will become my Harvest!

Steadily And Deeply 

  
Steadily and Deeply. Those two words jumped out at me today. 

My first 40 day fasting experience is almost over.  It really has been steady and deep.  
I did not think I could ever do this.  
Which, in actuality, I really didn’t.  
It was ALL God that did it!

I just obeyed Him and the Spirit and stopped giving in to my flesh. 
When we begin to live in that Altar’d state, we will begin to live so much more steadily and deeply.  

Today’s verse is: 

This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in Him, and He in us: He’s given us life from His life, from His very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent His Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God. ~ 1 John 4:13 

Lord, thank You for steady and deep. Thank You for the guidance and leading to do this fast. I not only have reaped so many health benefits, but the spiritual growth has been phenomenal. Thank You that when I take trust off myself and place it rightfully on You where it should be, You can work on my behalf.  

                ~XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Need A Light 

    
Feel like you are barely flickering? 

 Or are you burning your candle at both ends too quickly? 

Maybe your light has gone out and you need a light?  

Mine seems to barely flicker right now! 

I have hit a plateau and today is day 32 of my fasting experience. I am growing a little weary.  

This morning I read this verse:

Psalm 36:9 

For you are the Fountain of life; our light is from Your light. 

I was encouraged to know that my light is from His light so when I am barely flickering or have gone out, I simply have to go to God and let Him know I need a light! 

Lord, help me finish strong. I have just a few weeks left and I know You are the fountain of life, so pour into me. Fill me up and keep my light shining bright. Reignite the passion and perseverance for me and this fast. Thank You for Your word. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit that helps me in all areas.   Thank You that my light comes from Your light. 

                 ~XXOO Michelle Bollom 

A Work In Progress 

  

Sometimes we think caring for ourselves is selfish. I thought so too before I ran my health off in the ditch and suffered a stroke in 2008.   

Now seven years later I was well on my way back to the ditch; doing it again.  

We can’t be effective to our families or to God if we aren’t healthy. 

I am thankfully now well into my fasting experience. I have lost 20 lbs and several inches. I am more than half way through my fast and a 1/3 of the way to my health goals. 

I knew todays verse well. I was vandalizing my temple. I was not caring for my body as a temple that housed the Holy Spirit. Christ’s home was inside me but I was making Him to live in a cluttered run down shack.   

What I like to visualize now is that I am going through each area of my temple, each room of Christ’s home, and I am doing a major house cleaning job. I am a work in progress. A new body under construction. 

I want my outer self to reflect the inner self. I can’t have God doing amazing things within my heart, my mind, and my soul, if I still was trashing my body. 

Thankfully, God has given us amazing bodies capable of repairing themselves.   

We never have anyone or anything to blame but ourselves because we have either created or allowed it.  

This promise does not say- hey maybe you should, or maybe you might want to….. 

No, it says- you MUST honor God with your body. 

God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. ~1 Corinthians 6:20 NLT 

Lord, forgive me for vandalizing what You so graciously and wonderfully gave me. You paid for me at a very high price. Please help me to honor and show gratitude by caring properly for my temple. Thank You that you are a loving God that gives us the grace and mercy to begin again. May I never slip back to old patterns of living or thinking. Forgive me for blaming anything or anyone for what was my choice to dishonor You. Thank You that You provide strength in my weaknesses. Thank You for Your promises. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. 

                ~ XXOO Michelle Bollom 

An Overload Of Downloads 

  
Today is my 8th day of the fasting experience.

Today was also weigh in day. I am happy to report that I am -7 lbs. I was a little discouraged because it was very hard and I was really wanting to pull a double digit on the scale, but as I went to the Lord with my feelings, I felt the verse “don’t grow weary in well doing” settle in my spirit. I knew later I would look up that for verse reference, as well as (5) other verses I had received from my waking times or dreams. It was going to be a full day of unpacking but first I was off to church. 

During the message my pastor referenced my first verse! I did not even have to look it up! Confirmation! 
Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.~ Galatians 6:9 The Berean Study Bible 
I was so excited. I also thought, ok no need to unpack the others this must be the one for today so I thought I had my 8 for 8 download and I was done.

Below is the notes in the Life Recovery Bible for Galatians 6:9:
Paul left an important reminder for us all. We will always reap what we have sown. In other words, sins and addictions have painful consequences. We might be able to fool ourselves for a while into thinking that certain activities in relationships are all right. But when the consequences catch up with us, there will be no denying the facts. We need to take this warning seriously and take steps to change now. We don’t have to wait to hit bottom before we act. Using God’s word as a measuring stick, we can take a fearless moral inventory and make the necessary adjustments before it’s too late. ~Life Recovery Bible 
But not so fast…..
When I got home I felt led to start to unpack the other verses. Right away I knew with each one that it was going to be a significant download and confirmation party. 
So today an overload of downloads came rushing in from all the verses. (6) in total. 

The 2nd verse:
But the world must know that I love the Father. So I do exactly what the Father told me to do.

“Come now, let’s go.” ~ John 14:31 ERV 
I did what the Lord told me to do. I was obedient and it bore fruit! 
Come now let’s go….to the next verse 

I made sure the altar was supplied with the offering of wood and the offerings of firstfruits, too—each at the right time.

Nehemiah: O God—my God—remember me with favor. ~ Nehemiah 13:31 The VOICE 
Nehemiah was a great rebuilder. He reconstructed the wall of Jerusalem. He helped the people to rebuild their broken lives. There is no question that God gave credit to his good and faithful servant! And God will honor our attempts to rebuild, too. We also will experience God’s kindness in our life. ~Life Recovery Bible 

I understood this verse, and from a conversation at church when giving an offering of my kiddos first fruits from their babysitting money and how years ago we instilled in our children the importance of taking 10 % off every dollar they earn, be it Christmas, birthday, dog sitting or babysitting. 10% goes back to the Lord. So today they turned in an offering from all their first fruits within the last month. Then the LRB notes are what solidified the download for me. 

 Today was a day of so many confirmations.  

A woman approached me and said how much she loves the Restored Ministries Facebook page and blog. Just like Nehemiah helped rebuild broken lives, that is our mission for Restored Ministries. I thanked her and thanked God now for confirming I was in His will.
The 4th verse was:
Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!~ Isaiah 60:1 AMPC 
Gods people are called to let their light shine to the nations. God’s desire is to transform all of us and then to use us to bring his truth to others. ~Life Recovery Bible 
The LRB again confirmed what God has placed on my heart. Real People Real Stories Real Healing. Sharing His transformational truths with others. When we share our stories we repair our stories. Living Restored, mind, body and soul. Everyone has a restoration story. 

Then the 5th verse was: 
And His gifts were [varied; He Himself appointed and gave men to us] some to be apostles (special messengers), some prophets (inspired preachers and expounders), some evangelists (preachers of the Gospel, traveling missionaries), some pastors (shepherds of His flock) and teachers.~ Ephesians 4:11 AMPC 
We have been gifted in ways that make us necessary to others. Others have been gifted in ways that make them necessary to us. Some of us have special gifts for teaching others about God. Others of us may have the gift of caring for hurting people. Whatever gifts we might have, they are important for the emotional and spiritual growth of others. Since God has a purpose for each of us, it is important that we strive to know him better through prayer and meditation on His word. As we seek him, he will show us what our gifts are and how we can use them to help others. As we share our gifts and receive the benefits of other peoples gifts, we will find the body of Christ growing stronger and healthier. ~Life Recovery Bible 

I have had quite a few people in the last week tell me that they were thankful for my gifts. Exhortation, helping others, teaching, bringing them a word in due season. So I knew this verse and LRB notes were confirming all that. A word caught my eye and so I looked up expounder– I again laughed and thanked God for making me an expounder! I never want to leave a detail out when I tell a story. I can be long winded for sure! Learning that actually can be a gift is good news for me! It also is a person who actively supports or favors a cause, which again full circle confirmation on Restored Ministries Mission. 
Expounder- explain in detail; elucidate: 

a person who actively supports or favors a cause. 

Then the final and 6th verse was:
Oh, come back to God. Live by the principles of love and justice, and always be expecting much from Him, your God. Hosea 12:6 TLB 
God asks His people to love Him by loving others. It is only through God that we will treat others as God would have them treated. ~Life Recovery Bible 
It was a total confirmation to me about giving up the idol of food or other things and coming back full force to all things of God. Don’t limit God, expect much from Him.  
When we love others, even those hard to love, those that reject you and can’t even give you a warm smile back or acknowledge you, or support what you have been called to do, you just ask God to help you love them and show you what He loves about them. As we grow in love for God we naturally grow in love for others too. 

So for my overload of downloads here is the recap:
Keep going, don’t grow weary in well doing, don’t give up. 
Keep being obedient, it bears fruit and unlocks blessings. 
Give God the first fruits of everything. Keep helping to reach people with the message of Jesus and how He restores and rebuild lives. 
Keep shining- shine your Light. God is transforming you so you can share with others His transformational truths. Keep paying it forward.
Keep studying and learning to know God deeper. Share your gifts and embrace others gifts. We all need each other to grow healthier and stronger. Stay in community, stay connected. Keep teaching, preaching, sharing messages, introducing people to Jesus and expounding on all the goodness of God. 
And bring it all back to square one-
Love God 

Love Others 

                     ~XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Intimate And Organic 

  
When I started this fast on 10/4, I asked the Lord to download deeper truths and show me each day some encouragement to carry me along. 
God has been so faithful, He is 4 for 4- 

4 days -4 revelations/encouragements so far.

How do I know these revelations and “downloads” are from God?
I added almost two years ago these two practices to my morning quiet time routine. 
From my dreams, I write down all the people in my dreams. I then use The Name Book by Dorothy Astoria. It lists a bible verse for each name. 

The 2nd place I go to is Waking Words of Ancient Wisdom by Barbie Breathitt. It lists correlating Bible versus to times. 

When I awake during the night, I jot down the times and look them up the next day. Sometimes it is nothing more than that person on my mind or something too spicy for dinner or just having to get up and pee. But usually 99.99% of the time, it is God having me unpack something He is trying to teach me.   

So by now I recognize when a download is coming on, kinda like needing to go potty. I can feel it rumbling and stirring and there is no stopping it. (my son will be so proud I used a little bathroom analogy and humor today) 

So back to today …
God took me to this verse:

“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing.” ~ John 15:5 MSG 

Afterwards God usually sends me to the dictionary and/or bible commentary.  

The two words that stood out were:
in·ti·mate

ˈin(t)əmət/

Closely acquainted; familiar, close. 

n. A very close friend


Or-gan·ic

\ȯr-ˈga-nik\

Of, relating to, or derived from living organisms

Right then I knew that God was downloading to me. As He also lovingly whispered to my soul:

It may get rough some days, it may make you want to give up Michelle, but cling to Me. Keep your relationship with Me and with food, intimate and organic. Keep it simple. Keep it Pure. Rest in Me. My burden is easy and light. The harvest is sure to be abundant if you stay linked up and aquainted with Me. When you separate from Me, you won’t produce a thing. You can’t do it without Me. I got this girlie! I got you in the palm of My hand. I am the true living God. All things are possible with Me. 

Yes! I am sticking close. I am clinging Lord! Today I am pressing on and thanking God for His Word and His downloads and for a light and easy burden. Instead of food being my Best Friend, God, You are my new BFF.  
I am believing with joyous hope that all things are possible and that soon I will also be lighter too.
                 XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Getting Our Prayers Off The Ground 

  
So here I am just days into a sugar, white flour, red meat and dairy fast when I awoke this morning being led to read Isaiah 58.  

I had no idea what God was wanting to show me. But I have prayed that during this fast I wanted to go even deeper with God and to have Him download to me specific things I need to see and so far He has been faithful.  

As I read the verses this subtitle in the Message translation sparked my interest –
Your prayers won’t get off the ground

Of course I wanted to check out what can keep my prayers from getting off the ground. Nobody ever wants that-so I did some more studying and unpacking 

The bible verse was Isaiah 58:4 

The kind of fasting you do
 won’t get your prayers off the ground.

Uh oh – Now you got my attention Lord….

And in the commentary another subtitle read:
Precious promises made to those who fast

Now this really caught my eye -we are on to something God, this must be what You want to show and teach me today. 

I am ready for some precious promises and need to know what kind of fast DOES get my prayers off the ground, so I continued to read and this was yet another subtitle section that caught my attention….. 
A counterfeit and a true fast

Hmmm- well, I am all about the real so please show me the true vs the counterfeit God.

 Especially since what landed me in this season of fasting was because I was turning to too many counterfeit comforts instead of to You.
So I kept reading….and boy oh boy did I unpack some “Good Stuff” here:
I have highlighted the sections that got me from the commentary:

A fast is a day to afflict the soul; if it does not express true sorrow for sin, and does not promote the putting away of sin, it is not a fast. These professors had shown sorrow on stated or occasioned fasts. But they indulged pride, covetousness, and malignant passions.

To be liberal and merciful is more acceptable to God than mere fasting, which, without them, is vain and hypocritical. Many who seem humble in God’s house, are harsh at home, and harass their families. But no man’s faith justifies, which does not work by love. Yet persons, families, neighborhoods, churches, or nations, show repentance and sorrow for sin, by keeping a fast sincerely, and, from right motives, repenting, and doing good works. The heavy yoke of sin and oppression must be removed. As sin and sorrow dry the bones and weaken the strongest human constitution; so the duties of kindness and charity strengthen and refresh both body and mind. Those who do justly and love mercy, shall have the comfort, even in this world. Good works will bring the blessing of God, provided they are done from love to God and man, and wrought in the soul by the Holy Spirit. ~Isaiah 58:3-12 Matthew Henry Concise Commentary 

WOW! Mind blown- still processing, but as I sat pondering all this, I kept returning to the last section…. 
Duties of kindness and charity strengthen and refresh both body and mind. 
Confession time- I had threatened to go on strike and make my family fend for themselves during my fast.  I wanted to hide out from the world while I did it too! Now God was saying- Nope that is not fasting-you got to keep serving to be refreshed. 

I want to be refreshed during this fast and I don’t want to harass or be harsh, and I definitely want to put away this sin of idolatry to food so it is time to get to work and wash the ashes off my face and take off my sackcloth (my nightgown in my case) and get back to encouraging and serving others instead of mourning and being in self-pity over the loss of some sugar or Cheetos or cheese or what every else God is needing me to put away to truly get my prayers off the ground.  

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me! You can read the full promises in Isaiah below with what kind of fast God is looking for. 

I would love to hear your thoughts. 

                     XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Isaiah 58:1-9

1-3 “Shout! A full-throated shout!
    Hold nothing back—a trumpet-blast shout!
Tell my people what’s wrong with their lives,
    face my family Jacob with their sins!
They’re busy, busy, busy at worship,
    and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they’re a nation of right-living people—
 law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, ‘What’s the right thing to do?’
    and love having me on their side.
But they also complain,
 ‘Why do we fast and you don’t look our way?
    Why do we humble ourselves and you don’t even notice?’

3-5 

“Well, here’s why:

“The bottom line on your ‘fast days’ is profit.
    You drive your employees much too hard.
You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
    You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
 The kind of fasting you do
  won’t get your prayers off the ground.
Do you think this is the kind of fast day I’m after:
 a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
  and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
  a fast day that I, God, would like?

6-9 

This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
  to break the chains of injustice,
  get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
  free the oppressed,
  cancel debts.
 What I’m interested in seeing you do is:
  sharing your food with the hungry,
  inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
  putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
  being available to your own families.
 Do this and the lights will turn on,
  and your lives will turn around at once.
 Your righteousness will pave your way.
   The God of glory will secure your passage.
 Then when you pray, God will answer.
    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’


The Quickening Of Our Souls 

  
Quicken-To make more rapid

To cause (a body or soul, for example) to become alive; vitalize.

To excite and stimulate; stir

I recently was led to Colossians 2. As I read I got stuck on verse 15. 

He disarmed those who once ruled over us—those who had overpowered us. Like captives of war, He put them on display to the world to show His victory over them by means of the cross.

So why did this verse jump right off the page to me? Well for many reasons, but I think it is so funny how God chose today of all days…..

Today I started implementing a huge lifestyle change. I have felt the Lord speaking to me for months and months…. Ok, probably like years now if I am to be 100% honest. In my denial, I had justified stress and life passing me by at warped speed for becoming very lacked on my exercise and diet. No big surprise for our followers reading this- I have blogged about it before. I have even got psyched up and would have short bouts of progress to only fall back off the wagon …again. 

But in classic recovery terms- I have finally become sick and tired of being sick and tired….again.  

I had to admit Step 1- 

I had become powerless over …… Food.  

It had began to once…again, rule my life.  
I won’t go into my whole back story- but let’s just give the main points:

I have gained almost half of the 65 pounds of what weight I had lost since 2008. So instead of 30 pounds to lose, I have jumped up to a good 60 pounds I need to lose. Although a little mortified and shocked that the days had turned into years and that I had allowed myself to wander in the wilderness and back to the bondage of food. I had no one to blame. I had caused my current state of running my health off into the ditch… Yet, Once again…
I lost my dad suddenly in 2008 and was so upset that he could not come to grips with his food addiction after serious health issues and ultimately he had caused his own premature death after a accident that forced him back to emotional eating and not controlling or even checking his own blood sugar after losing hundreds of pounds and no longer having to take insulin.  
His death was ruled as diabetes and insurance companies recognize diabetes as a preventable death. His insurance policies to pay off his debts and things were all denied.  

I think that knowledge fueled my health journey at first, I did not want to have ruled at my premature death, diabetes or obesity. But just four years after his death I would start my decline and now three more years later here I find myself in horrible shape again. 

 God was speaking to me and letting me know that what I could not grasp or understand was really me judging my earthly father for the exact same thing I was now currently doing. Killing myself and horribly vandalizing my temple. 

God spoke that harsh reality to me through a very loving and dear friend. I am so very grateful for the wake up call and for her boldness and bravery to tell me that she feared for me and feared losing me just like I had lost my dad. 

I would love to say it instantly snapped me out of my addiction cycle …but it didn’t.  
God would still have to keep having me unpack a few things for another couple months.  

I know now that God was aligning all things up. 

I recently started the study Altar’d by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. We started it with Restored Ministries local Divine Connections Bible Study group. And soon my local overeating 12 step support group ministry will be starting it too.

 So I will be doubling up on this life changing study this year.
I think God is wanting me to fully get it this time around. 

My simplified description of this study is learning to say no to living in the flesh and begin living an altered life by learning to live in Christ’s resurrection power by laying at the Altar all the flesh and sins preventing us from living in the Spirit and having a better more abundant life.  

So to now come back around full circle to the reason for this blog post and the discovery I found while unpacking those verses…. 

Within the Commentary is the line – 

Christ’s resurrection is the quickening of our souls.

So with those words I began to recognize that God was downloading something for me- which usually always helps others too. My prayer during this season of fasting and lifestyle change is to have God reveal deeper truths to me.  

So I looked up “quicken” -(which I listed the definition above), and there it was….. 

Rapid, stir, excite, revitalize, become alive….

That’s what I want for me and my soul! 

As I sat and pondered and thought of my new journey to radically change my lifestyle and diet and to stop vandalizing my temple- well, flooding into my spirit -I felt like my Heavenly Father was whispering to me: 

Michelle, when you live outside your flesh, when you fast your emotions and learn to embrace My resurrection power and stop living in bondage to those things I already delivered you from before – you will have a quickening of your soul. Get excited, be stirred, I am doing a new thing. I am the Great Comforter, you don’t need counterfeits anymore. You are dead to sin and alive in Me. With Me, Nothing is impossible for you. You will be able to fully live restored, Mind, Body, and Soul when you live within My Holy Spirit. My resurrection power is already within you, start using it! 

I began to sob tears of joy as I am so thankful to be able to begin this Journey to wholeness once again with fresh mercy and of course not in my strength but in Christ’s.   

Begin to ask God what it is that He may be speaking to your heart on what may need to be Altar’d in your own life.  

And as another awesome friend always tells me- “Give the devil a big ole black eye!”

That is exactly what I intend to do. The enemies lies won’t work on me anymore – I am becoming AltarD! 
                 XXOO – Michelle Bollom 

Here are the amazing promises in Colossians 2 with commentary below.  I have bolded the highlights. 

You see, all that is God, all His fullness, resides in His body. You, too, are being completed in Him, the One who has dominion over all rule, all authority. In Him you were also circumcised, set apart by a spiritual act performed without hands. The Anointed One’s circumcision cut you off from the sinfulness of your flesh. You were buried with Him beneath the waters of the ceremonial washing called baptism and then were raised up with Him by faith in the resurrection power of God, who brought Him back from the dead. And when your flesh was still uncircumcised—dead in transgression and swathed in its sinful nature—it was God who brought us to life with Him, forgave all our sins, and eliminated the massive debt we incurred by the law that stood against us. He took it all away; He nailed it to the cross. But that’s not all.  He disarmed those who once ruled over us—those who had overpowered us. Like captives of war, He put them on display to the world to show His victory over them by means of the cross.

Colossians 2:9-15The Voice (VOICE)

I. Christ’s death is our life: And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, Col. 2:13. A state of sin is a state of spiritual death. Those who are in sin are dead in sin. As the death of the body consists in its separation from the soul, so the death of the soul consists in its separation from God and the divine favour. As the death of the body is the corruption and putrefaction of it, so sin is the corruption or depravation of the soul. As a man who is dead is unable to help himself by any power of his own, so an habitual sinner is morally impotent: though he has a natural power, or the power of a reasonable creature, he has not a spiritual power, till he has the divine life or a renewed nature. It is principally to be understood of the Gentile world, who lay in wickedness. They were dead in the uncircumcision of their flesh, being aliens to the covenant of promise, and without God in the world, Eph. 2:11, 12. By reason of their uncircumcision they were dead in their sins. It may be understood of the spiritual uncircumcision or corruption of nature; and so it shows that we are dead in law, and dead in state. Dead in law, as a condemned malefactor is called a dead man because he is under a sentence of death; so sinners by the guilt of sin are under the sentence of the law and condemned already, John 3:18. And dead in state, by reason of the uncircumcision of our flesh. An unsanctified heart is called an uncircumcised heart: this is our state. Now through Christ we, who were dead in sins, are quickened; that is, effectual provision is made for taking away the guilt of sin, and breaking the power and dominion of it. Quickened together with him—by virtue of our union to him, and in conformity to him. Christ’s death was the death of our sins; Christ’s resurrection is the quickening of our souls.

II. Through him we have the remission of sin: Having forgiven you all trespasses. This is our quickening. The pardon of the crime is the life of the criminal: and this is owing to the resurrection of Christ, as well as his death; for, as he died for our sins, so he rose again for our justification, Rom. 4:25.

III. Whatever was in force against us is taken out of the way. He has obtained for us a legal discharge from the hand-writing of ordinances, which was against us (Col. 2:14), which may be understood, 1. Of that obligation to punishment in which consists the guilt of sin. The curse of the law is the hand-writing against us, like the hand-writing on Belshazzar’s wall. Cursed is every one who continues not in every thing. This was a hand-writing which was against us, and contrary to us; for it threatened our eternal ruin. This was removed when he redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us, Gal. 3:13. He cancelled the obligation for all who repent and believe. “Upon me be the curse, my father.” He vacated and disannulled the judgment which was against us. When he was nailed to the cross, the curse was as it were nailed to the cross. And our indwelling corruption is crucified with Christ, and by virtue of his cross. When we remember the dying of the Lord Jesus, and see him nailed to the cross, we should see the hand-writing against us taken out of the way. Or rather, 2. It must be understood of the ceremonial law, the hand-writing of ordinances, the ceremonial institutions or the law of commandments contained in ordinances (Eph. 2:15), which was a yoke to the Jews and a partition-wall to the Gentiles. The Lord Jesus took it out of the way, nailed it to his cross; that is, disannulled the obligation of it, that all might see and be satisfied that it was no more binding. When the substance came, the shadows fled away. It is abolished (2 Cor. 3:13), and that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away, Heb. 8:13. The expressions are in allusion to the ancient methods of cancelling a bond, either by crossing the writing or striking it through with a nail.

IV. He has obtained a glorious victory for us over the powers of darkness: And, having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a show of them openly, triumphing over them in it, Col. 2:15. As the curse of the law was against us, so the power of Satan was against us. He treated with God as the Judge, and redeemed us out of the hands of his justice by a price; but out of the hands of Satan the executioner he redeemed us by power and with a high hand. He led captivity captive. The devil and all the powers of hell were conquered and disarmed by the dying Redeemer. The first promise pointed at this; the bruising of the heel of Christ in his sufferings was the breaking of the serpent’s head, Gen. 3:15. The expressions are lofty and magnificent: let us turn aside and see this great sight. The Redeemer conquered by dying. See his crown of thorns turned into a crown of laurels. He spoiled them, broke the devil’s power, and conquered and disabled him, and made a show of them openly—exposed them to public shame, and made a show of them to angels and men. Never had the devil’s kingdom such a mortal blow given to it as was given by the Lord Jesus. He tied them to his chariot-wheels, and rode forth conquering and to conquer—alluding to the custom of a general’s triumph, who returned victorious.—Triumphing over them in it; that is, either in his cross and by his death; or, as some read it, in himself, by his own power; for he trod the wine-press alone, and of the people there was none with him. ~ Matthew Henry’s Commentary verses 13-15.  

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Taking Back My Life

  

For months- 

ok well more like for a few years now…. 

(Man the days are evil- they just flew by) 

I have been very lacked on my exercise or choosing the most beneficial or healthy food choices. 

A couple of years ago I was running and making better choices… And then my thyroid crapped out. The scale went up and then I worked hard to get it down and then a couple of summers of eating and being lazy … Well, I am now reaping what I sowed. The weight I lost found its way back. The lack of running, exercise, or even walking has me feeling flabby and weak.  

Don’t get me wrong- I have had some amazing things happen in the last few years, God has answered tons of prayers, grown me so much spiritually, and given me some amazing connections. I would not change anything. 

I know it took all of that and now this to wake me up and get me on to getting serious.

No way to lessen the blow, to sugar coat it- 

bottom line-I have neglected my temple

I still struggle. I am an emotional eater. I co-lead a small local ministry since 2009 helping others with this same issue, but I have just been going through the motions and letting my flesh and emotions convince me that I don’t need to exercise or watch what I eat. I have talked the talk, but not been walking the walk. Each day just kept being a promise of tomorrow I will start… And then the sin of procrastination overtook me. 
So now after the months have turned into years and some recent spiritual attacks and stress have my adrenals shot along with my thyroid, and of course my pull to emotionally choose food to cope, has my body screaming at me from all directions.  

I know I need – MUST -make a change.

I have been partially obeying, which at the end of the day, partial obedience is really just disobedience.  


I have almost let the small foxes destroy the whole vine! 

I feel like the clouds have finally lifted as I recently got away to a retreat with a great change of scenery and some amazing people. As I came home refreshed and renewed-Boom! I heard this song. I love how music speaks to me. I am taking and making it my Anthem.  

I have the Power, His Divine Power – I have had it all along- but I am now activating and turning it ON! 

I am relying on His perfect guidance in making some big changes and resting in His strength to do all that I can’t.  

Whatever it is that has just about KO’d you, I invite you to stand up! Even if your knees seem shaky… Don’t let them count you out.

Stand up and declare these words with me….(and raise your hands into a fighter’s stance like Rocky!) 

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My power’s turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

Turn up the volume and get ready to ROCK OUT! 

~ XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

but I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time
This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My power’s turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

I’ll play my fight song

And I don’t really care if nobody else believes

Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep

Everybody’s worried about me

In too deep

Say I’m in too deep

And it’s been two years

I miss my home

But there’s a fire burning in my bones

And I still believe

Yeah I still believe
And all those things I didn’t say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time
This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My power’s turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

I’ll play my fight song

And I don’t really care if nobody else believes

Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

but I can make an explosion
This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I’m alright song

My power’s turned on

Starting right now I’ll be strong

I’ll play my fight song

And I don’t really care if nobody else believes

Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Now I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me