Hold On Pain Ends

Since I was a child I always wrote poetry as a way to process my pain. I stopped for many years and in 2006 I started again as I processed my brother Toby’s sudden death with a piece called An Unfinished Life.

These days I write many things – but rarely do I write much poetry anymore although I have such a deep love for it.

Today, I again wrote poetry to help me process my pain.

Hold On Pain Ends

The enemy will convince you

there is no hope.

That the restoration process is pointless.

It’s taking too long …

It’s too hard…

When will it ever end?

The mundane seems meaningless.

But the mundane is where the

miraculous is birthed.

The day in… the day out…

The baby steps

The big steps

Acts of obedience

Uncomfortable

The small

The big

One next choice

Made moment by moment to

Live. Breathe. Love. Keep Going. Forgive

Surrender to the process

Surrender to His will

Surrender to His timing

Trust not Toil

Rest not Resist

Wait not wail

Remain in His presence

Amidst the pain

That is the only place

for the pain to subside

No more

Numb

Confused

Questioning

Why?

Abiding not Answers is where it all lies

Hope is alway there…

Hope is the choice we must make

Hope is the method not the means

Hope is relying on His Grace

Hope Is His Saving Grace

HOPE…

Hold

On

Pain

Ends

~ XXOO Michelle Bollom

Rest In Peace Beautiful Girl!

You will be greatly missed.

Slow Down 

I thought today I was going to write a wonderful tribute blog about my twins.  

                   That did not happen!

For the sake of preserving and getting over my head cold and bronchitis I could not risk the snot session that all the memory unpacking would have created.

Instead I will share a song I ran across months ago by Nichole Nordeman that has been wrecking me with the reminiscing of how fast the years really do go by.

Today my amazing twins turn 18 years old.  

In a little over a month they will be graduating High School and start college.  

It is true – You do blink and they grow up right before your eyes.

To my beautiful children, you are the very breath in my lungs. Despite my short comings and failings I Thank God that He chose me and entrusted me to have the unbelievable honor of being your Mom.  
       
              Slow down would ya-just a little! 
                

                     Happy Birthday
      ~ XXOO Mom aka Michelle Bollom 

Happy Birthday Daddy

  
My daddy would be 70 years old today.  

I am sure he is celebrating Big if they celebrate birthdays in Heaven. If they celebrate homecomings, this November will be his 8th homecoming anniversary. 

 I miss hearing his voice and his great big hugs and kisses and even his sneaky mischievous bite of my nose. I miss all his silly rhymes and poems and his calls just to say nothing but “It’s Your Daddy & I love you

I miss the emails and the phone conversations that lasted for hours and hours never running out of things to say. I miss that he loved large and always tried to help someone even in the times he had not much to give. I miss sharing recipes and what new music we found. I love that he never ever made me wonder if I was loved or special or the apple of his eye. He always said or signed his pictures “My favorite daughter” which he also did that to my sisters too! 

He gave me a love for all sorts of music and taught me to never despise the hard times. I loved how he could tell a story and make you feel like you were right there. He always made sure I knew he was one of my biggest fans. 

Sometimes I imagine my dad and my brother Toby (whose 10th homecoming is in a few weeks) and the amazing mansions with elaborate gardens and koi ponds and all the amazing art Dad is now creating for Jesus and my brother Toby playing and loving on all the animals and babies in Heaven. 

I spent far too many years very sad on their birthdays and homecoming anniversaries. I grieved my brother’s death in 2006 without hope and was able to grieve my dad’s death in 2008 with much hope. 

I am comforted now that because of the sting of their deaths I have come to know Jesus on a much more personal and deeper level. Because of my trust and their trust in Jesus, we will all one day be reunited. The more time I spend in my Heavenly Father’s presence the closer I feel to my earthly Father and my brother Toby. 

I am thankful for the moments that I see my dad’s dimple and quirky smile, his funny and hilarious personality and of course his True Die Hard Dallas Cowboys fan in my son, And I see his amazing artistic talent and fix anything, so creative and kind loving spirit in my daughter.  

Happy Birthday Daddy! No sad tears today –

 I promise not to be a squall monkey.  
   XXOO ~ Your Favorite Daughter, 

                        Michelle Bollom 

Yad Vashem 

  
Yad Vashem is Israel’s official memorial to the victims of the Holocaust.

This leading picture above I captured as I exited the Yad Vashem in August of 2014 while visiting Israel. 

The view was specifically created to be a representation of Hope as people exit this very emotional memorial. 

I stood overlooking this view as I was still crying from visiting The Hall of Names containing Pages of Testimony commemorating the millions of Jews who were murdered during the Holocaust. 

  
As I looked up at this wall I became so overwhelmed with emotion I broke down crying.  

Yad Vashem was Established in 1953, Yad Vashem is located on the western slope of Mount Herzl on the Mount of Remembrance in Jerusalem, 804 meters (2,638 ft) above sea level and adjacent to the Jerusalem Forest. The memorial consists of a 180-dunam (18.0 ha; 44.5-acre) complex containing the Holocaust History Museum, memorial sites such as the Children’s Memorial and the Hall of Remembrance, The Museum of Holocaust Art, sculptures, outdoor commemorative sites such as the Valley of the Communities, a synagogue, a research institute with archives, a library, a publishing house, and an educational center named The International School/Institute for Holocaust Studies.

A core goal of Yad Vashem’s founders was to recognize gentiles who, at personal risk and without a financial or evangelistic motive, chose to save their Jewish brethren from the ongoing genocide during the Holocaust. Those recognized by Israel as Righteous Among the Nations are honored in a section of Yad Vashem known as the Garden of the Righteous Among the Nations.

After the Western Wall, Yad Vashem is the second most-visited Israeli tourist site. Its curators charge no fee for admission and welcome approximately one million visitors a year. – Wikipedia 

Join me in a moment of silence now and to pray for all the victims and their families as we remember the lost on this #HolocaustMemorialDay
           ~XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Strong Girl



Once upon a troubled time, along life’s bumpy road,

A woman found herself alone, beside a heavy load.

Burdens tossed, abandoned; she stood in disbelief 

And for a moment, dropped her head and sobbed amid her grief.

But tears, she learned, did nothing to make the burden light

And so she reached, and grabbed the burden – tugged with all her might.

It barely moved, she didn’t have the strength that it would take

To carry such a burden; there was so much at stake.

“What do I do?” she whispered, peering through the mist

But alas, no one appeared.  She was alone in this.

“Chin up, jaw firm, eyes ahead!” This chant became her theme,

And suddenly the load was not as heavy, so it seemed.

She put her back beneath the weight, and slowly then, it moved

And she began to walk along.  Her own strength she proved.

With every step, her strength improved, and she began to smile

Her confidence began to grow with every passing mile.

The brilliant sunshine warmed her face, then faded into night

But she kept walking, knowing with the dawn, there’d be more light.

The night was long and very dark, and danger lurked nearby

The woman kept on walking, scared to death but head held high.

The storm would come, the wind would blow, and whip the load around

Sometimes she cried and yelled aloud; sometimes she made no sound.

And all the while the strength that once was too hard to obtain

Grew and grew and she stood taller, strong beneath the strain.

The road could be so merciless, sometimes a storm’s attack

Added to the burden that she carried on her back.

Another weight, another task, a trial to be borne

She cried and staggered, almost falling, discouraged and forlorn.

“But wait,” she said, remembering, “I’ve walked this road a while,

And I have gained a lot of muscle, along each grueling mile.”

And so she put her back again, against the load she bore,

And much to her surprise, it lifted, easier than before.

The days wore into weeks and months and soon, when troubles came

She would eye the trouble, smiling, “Are we doing this again?”

Travelers who met her, as they journeyed on her path,

Would say, “How do you do that?” and she would simply laugh.

“I want to say I do not know but that would not be true.

I simply keep on walking, just the way you do.”

You might know a woman who seems to be so strong

She didn’t plan to be that way, but then, walking along

She very simply chose to live in joy instead of pain

She may not even think of it too much, unless there’s rain

Or storms, or falls, or bruises, but just as she’s done before

She’ll stagger, gain her balance, and carry on once more.

In her heart, although she’s strong, she’s still so much a girl

Strong girls bring the best of strength and sweetness to the world.

So if you are a strong girl friend, I know you understand.

If you know one, you don’t have to ask to lend a hand.

Just pray for happy traveling, and a mostly sunny sky.

And if you like, snap a salute when she goes marching by. 


~ Alane Roberts