How many times have you heard the often condescending, tough love, and sometimes, judgmental quote,
“You made your bed, now you can sleep in it.”
Where it’s not quite as motivating as
“You reap what you sow,” I believe most people mean it in a good way.
I’d like to think I’m not the only person who does this, but some mornings I get up late. I’m in a rush, and making the bed is an everyday, mundane, five minute chore.
Especially in my current living situation, but really all my life, I’ve felt like if a bed is unmade, it makes the whole room look trashed. Back in the day, if I knew one of the boys’ beds was not made, it haunted me like a sin unconfessed, until I went upstairs to pay penance and made it right.
For me, making the beds HAS to be done.
When I’ve had a really solid, good night’s sleep, which isn’t often, sometimes the bed doesn’t look that bad. The blankets are pretty much in place rather than the abstract art I generally create during the course of tossing and turning through the night. So, in my rush, rather than strip off the quilt and comforter, shaking the sheets to rid the dust until wash day, and fitting the sheets properly, I’ll “arrange.”
It goes like this. OK, so if I just give a tug here and a pull there, yeah, I can get it all to line up, but that tug made the comforter uneven and this pull doesn’t make the lines straight, and now I’m back to wrangling the sheets in place. Consequently, I will spend more time trying NOT to make the bed, than it would have taken to do it properly. Inevitably, every time, I end up with having wrinkles in my sheets, uneven blankets, and a completely unsatisfied feeling. Sheesh!
As I was doing this (just the other day), it occurred to me how we try to do this with life.
When you go through a traumatic experience in life, such as a death in your family, divorce, or even a break up with a boy/girlfriend, there is a mess of stuff left behind. Things get jumbled and mixed up. Feelings, emotions, beliefs, and self-worth get tossed around, kicked about, and confused. One of the mistakes I’ve made, is trying to rearrange all that stuff in a quick fix. Let’s stuff if all under the crumpled covers and pretend it isn’t there. How many people do that?
If you dump or get dumped by someone, all your friends are egging you on with “more fish in the sea,” and taking you out to party and find “the next, better guy.” While in your heart, things are rumpled, confused, and your self-worth is wrinkled. There has been no time to put it into perspective, make things right, and work it out. It’s a quick fix to cover the unsightly mess you’ve just witnessed and possibly helped create. I focus on this particular situation, because it’s the most common one, and also, the most inevitable mistake.
If I have learned anything in life, it’s this. Everything, EVERY THING, is a learning experience. If you don’t take time to learn the lesson, you will go around that same problem, conflict, MOUNTAIN, as did the Israelites, again and again.
God created us with feelings and emotions, so we would love, give, have compassion and sacrifice …… in a minute understanding of His love for us. We are supposed to feel, hurt, cry, laugh, and experience the epitome of emotion. Society, pride, and defense tell us not to feel. Don’t work through it, don’t learn a lesson here, move on, BLAME, and forget about it.
I’m here to tell you, that’s a trap, a vicious cycle that will only lead to more heartache, not just for you, but for those you will touch thereafter.
There is always something to gain, always.
With a knowing eye, a father might warn his daughter of a boy who is a player. He sees it. He knows, for it may have been him at some point. The daughter doesn’t listen, she falls for the boy and he hurts her. What does Daddy expect? He expects his daughter not just to adhere to wisdom in the future, but to learn a lesson and gain wisdom from experience on her own.
So our Father expects of us.
Everyone will experience loss, disappointment, and pain. I would encourage you, especially the younger generation, to pause before you “arrange” the situation. Take time to remove the covers of confusion, get in touch with the reasons you’re feeling how you feel. Investigate why there was a failure, what mistakes you made, how can you avoid making them again. Be honest with yourself and don’t just blame someone or something else. Shake off all the dirt of unforgiveness and bitterness that was left behind, and learn the lessons of failure by doing it right, so you can walk away with a sense of pride. Don’t mask the problem with another man, another relationship, that is already doomed because you haven’t worked through the last failure.
Don’t make half attempts at life. The road less traveled is sometimes harder right now, but in the long run, it’s so, SO much more rewarding.
Take ……. a breath. Take time. The time you spend recovering will be a fraction of the time you spend repairing.
For everything, there is a season.
~Sandra K. Yates