Restoration Stories – Benjamin David

In 2014 I did something really stupid, something that cost me my church, my dream. I was utterly devastated, heartbroken.

Everyday for the last 4 years I’ve been in deep regret, a regret that has brought about some very deep shame. I would cry, punch the walls, scream, I hated myself. After all, I was just reaping what I had sown.

Unexpectedly these last 5 weeks I’ve felt a call back to minister again, but I quickly shut it down because I believed I didn’t deserve another chance. Yet the voice of Jesus was calling me even though I was inwardly being chocked by shame.

Last night for the first time in about 5 years I responded to an invitation to receive prayer at Freedom Church. I felt something shift but I was unsure what it was. I cried like a baby, I went to bed and slept like a baby.

This morning at church I heard a message about God removing my shame. It was as if the entire message was written just for me. My heart was dancing inside of my chest at the sheer joy of what I was hearing. “I will remove your shame and restore your inheritance- double.”

I’m crying as I write this because it’s been such a journey these last 5 months of inner restoration back to God. A year ago I arrived at a place where I was ready to walk away from God, it was just too painful to believe anymore. It was less painful just to give up.

But, oh the joy of expectation within my heart! I was internally dead BUT Jesus breathed his life into my lungs. He’s taught me to hope again, to believe again. I’ve had repair but now it’s time for restoration. I’m chocked as I wrote these last few words because it’s so opposite to what I believed…I’m not a failure, I’m not cast off, I’m not a bad egg, I’m a good person because God doesn’t make mistakes.

As the minister said, “We’re not failures. God just needs to polish us so we shine with identity, an identity that brings God glory.”

He has restored my soul. -Psalm 23

~ Benjamin David

Connect with Benjamin David Here

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Shame

Shame.

A really ugly name.

For someone who has left right ways and has followed foolish ways.

Permanent. Indelible. Inescapable. Branded identity.

Redemption? Is it even possible? How would it even work?

Someone would need to restore such a one into polite society. Mercy and grace must be offered and accepted. Healing is needed. Time is needed. God is needed. Jesus is needed. And we are needed.

Not only that, but we are wanted.

Desperately desired.

Love objects of The King!

~ Brad Heilhecker

An Incomparable Victory

“On Good Friday, Jesus turned the world’s system upside down, losing everything in order to win everything. Death greedily swallowed up a perfect victim, destroying itself in the process. Heaven’s heartbreak bought earth’s redemption. It was the perfect storm: an unspeakable loss, an incomparable victory. “

~ Gregory Coles

Pleading Your Case

It feels as if you give

one step forward

And a few steps back

The road looks so dark

With no light in sight

On and on you go

A dark cloud always following you

When last was joy your portion?

When last had victory knocked on your door?

You sigh ‘When God’?

Your mind a battleground

Your face tells a story of defeat

You are weary of the wait

Tired of the journey

Feels like you’re on your way nowhere

Hanging on to His promises

Your only hope

Darkness tries it best

To wheel you in

Sometimes it looks like

your enemies have won

Like they’re standing

with trophies of battles won

Don’t fix your eyes

on what you see

Smokescreens might look real

When I am not on the scene

This is a season

Where I am pleading your case

A season where I take vengeance for you

I have seen your tears

The price you had to pay

Enemies humiliated you

Laughing in your face

Not knowing that I see

the intent of their hearts

What they represent

is not of Me

Arise this day

position yourself

I am at work on your behalf

I have heard your petitions

I have heard your prayers

You just see what the enemy

wants you to see

I am a God of recompense

I will surely repay

I never slumber

I never sleep

What a man sows

He will also reap

I am a God of love

but I am also a holy God

I love justice and righteousness

It might look like

the enemy has won

Look again

My word is coming into fulfillment

Don’t give up now

You are closer to victory

then you think

The road I have asked

you to walk

Was not easy

Yet in the midst of many storms

You never gave up

When I asked you to surrender

I knew what I was doing

Your victory laid in your silence

completely trusting Me

Soon you will know all the answers

As it unfolds before your eyes

I am your ‘Jehu’ overthrowing

Every plot and plan

of the enemy

Look again

The battle has already been won

No one could touch you

Though they think that they did

Your battles were Mine

Valuable lessons had to be learnt

For you to represent Me

with your every turn

Your pain did not stop you

From doing My will

Every day you were ready

to complete your race

Tired, weak

but you never retreat

Showing Me

that Our love

was real

You will dance

You will leap

You will gather the spoils

You will walk through open doors

With My heart beating in you

You will represent Me well

For this journey had its purpose

You have passed your tests

For surely this is your time of recompense

~ Ebigale Wilson

Pleading Your Case

The Journey

http://www.restoredministries.org

Forgive Me

I recently heard this song and it was one of those songs that wrecks you in a good way.

It’s “Forgive Me” by Nicole C. Mullen

Here are the lyrics:

Like many water falls I cry,

Like something deep inside has died;

Oh the hurt, the3 guilt, the pain,

To know I broke Your heart again.

And like a hurricane that blows

A thunderstorm inside my soul;

So can you speak unto the wind

And renew my life again?

Forgive me, I have sinned;

I am guilty of the nails that pierced Your hands,

Oh I’m cryin’ out, purify,

Rid me of this guiltiness I feel inside;

I’m beggin’ please forgive me.

I can’t describe what’s in my soul,

I feel ashamed to let You know;

Oh the burden, oh the weight

That I’ve carried from that day.

But You were there, You saw it all,

Every detail, great and small;

And yet You love me just the same,

And You remind me that You came; Lord You came to

Forgive me, I have sinned;

I am guilty of the nails that pierced Your hands,

Oh I’m cryin’ out, purify,

Rid me of this barrenness I feel inside;

I’m beggin’ please.

Create in me a clean heart;

Renew my spirit too.

Restore to me joy, real joy.

Make me more like You, more like You, yeah!

Forgive me, I have sinned;

I am guilty of the nails that pierced Your hands,

Oh I’m cryin’ out, purify,

Rid me of this brokenness I feel inside;

Oh, I’m beggin’ please.

Forgive me, I have sinned;

I am guilty of the nails that pierced Your hands;

I know I’m guilty, I’m guilty.

But when I cry out, You purify

And heal me of this brokenness I feel inside;

And faithfully Your hear my plea;

You faithfully, You forgive me.

Jesus You forgive me.

I hope you enjoy this weeks #SongSunday

~XXOO Michelle Bollom

Sharing His Love

She was called many names

Believed it for too long

Attached herself to it

Made it part of her every move

Caught in a web of lies

Held in chains by many enemies

They did not know her

They thought they did

For how can you know someone

without relationship

They went after hearsay

Trapped by jezebel

rebellion and bitterness

She had to pay for the wrongs in their life

The pain they endured

they inflicted on her

It was easier to make her

the scapegoat of their agony

Easier than to deal

with their pain themselves

Her frail body bowed low

by painful words

That flew at her like arrows

There was no one to help her

No one to stop them

She grew weaker and weaker

Till He invaded her life

You told her that You

would give her back her voice

She didn’t even realise

that she was voiceless

She started to write

what her lips could not utter

The words on the paper

Became her silent voice

She found healing through writing

Saw herself through Your eyes

Your love transported her

to dimensions that she never knew

Why didn’t anybody tell her

that she was deeply loved

Your love had the power

to break the enemy’s hold on her life

You nursed her broken heart

Poured oil on her wounds

and hurts that ran deep

She was amazed in the manner

You relate to her

Your gaze awakened

every dead dream and gift in her

She now saw what You knew all along

Her heart was finally free

to experience

Your relentless love

She has found in You

what few will ever find

The veil is torn

She is One with You

Her identity deeply

embedded in You

She only believes

what You speak over her

Your love her dwelling place

Which she freely shares

with the hurt and abandoned

So that they too will taste freedom

and Your heart filled with grace

The accusations and lies

that once controlled her

Has no hold over her

Her cup of suffering

was her training ground

You saw her future

When she saw a mess

The highs and the lows

The detours and dark nights

Led her straight into Your arms

You never let go of her

You made her fearless

You made her strong

She laughs at the future

She will never be alone

You trained her to war

and how to win her battles

While trials formed Your character in her

Through her surrendered life

many will come to know

The One who has captured her heart

You deserve the glory

You brought meaning to her life

She wouldn’t let the sighs

and murmuring stop her

The voice of the enemy

was forever silenced

No one will fully understand

What You have asked of her

They will only see Your heart

moving with her

The world her blank canvas

Which she colours with love

Till everyone experiences

just a taste of Your deep love.

~ Ebigale Wilson

Sharing His Love

The Journey

http://www.restoredministries.org

Pushed Out to Press In

No one wants to talk about it.  No one wants to hear about it.  Certainly, no one wants to take blame.  The harshness of reality is too much because it requires personal examination of places within that one has laboriously worked at keeping hidden for longer than it takes to forgive.

They say, “What comes around, goes around,” and while I don’t truly know about that, I do know that the Lord says that nothing hidden shall remain hidden.

Interestingly, it’s when the darkness comes into light that I’ve seen responses of denial, false accusations, excommunication, and rejection…all leading away from acknowledgment of TRUTH.  Again, no one wants to know the truth because then change must occur, and we all know that, for most, change is hard.  HARD.  It’s so much easier and simpler to remain complacent.  Neutral.  Idle.  Right where the enemy wants us.

It took me a long time to recognize that I was idle.  Let me rephrase because that isn’t exactly the truth.  I knew.  I knew long before I was pushed out that things were not as they seemed.  You see, loving someone who has an eye to see the hidden isn’t hard.  I was pretty good at that.  But, loving someone who has an eye to see the hidden AND the gall to call it out – well, that was more than my “Fa-la-la-la-la…let’s keep the peace, and all will be well” mindset could handle.

I now know that the Lord was showing me through the eyes of another that it was time to move.  My dependence on others – the many I loved and the place I called “home” – kept me from accepting what I knew to be truth.  It is never okay to allow injustice to occur without a fight, and time and time again, I forced my eyes closed to that before me because it was too HARD to watch.  I didn’t move, and God had no choice but to allow me to be pushed out.  Falsely accused.  Rejected.  By those I loved.  The place I called “home”.

The heartache, disappointment, anger, sorrow, confusion, and pain that ensued cannot be described.  The dividing line between love and hate grew hazy, and I no longer knew where I was.

I now know.  Love.  If there were no love, there would be no pain.  Truth.  If there were no truth, there would be no pain.

Over the course of the past year and a half, an evolvement has taken place.  The pain from love, and the pain from truth, have been transformed to joy.  For, if there were no love, there would be no joy.  If there were no truth, there would be no joy.

Getting here has not been easy – the method, the means – shall remain sacred between my Father and me.  While sometimes the ghosts of the past lurk as an innocent word, thought, or photo attempt to trigger the pain, and though no one wants to talk about it, hear about it, or take blame, I, fortunately, have learned to be intentional about pressing in to the One who shows me daily that He delights in me.

As I consider the past, embrace the present, and contemplate the future, I recognize that I had to be pushed out to press in.  That, my friends, makes it all worth it.

~ Stephanie R. Gable (12/17/2017)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light. ~ Luke 8:17

Therefore, do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. ~ Matthew 10:26

I press [in] toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:14

So let us know, let us press [in] to know the Lord. ~ Hosea 6:3

Restoration Stories – Stephanie Palmer 

I am a people person, always have been. People intrigue me, and I have a desire to know about each person. Probably why one of my favorite jobs was at the mall. I would meet practically every type of person on a daily basis. And it some how filled my heart to get to know each of them and somehow make there day special. I didn’t always understand why, but as I look back, I can see how God was able to use that to speak to many who would not have been spoken to otherwise.

Lately as I look around, I see all kinds of people. They range in age and background. Some have money, some are doing there best to get by. Some are very educated and some have little schooling for one reason or another. But, one thing that they all have in common is that they all have a past. As far as I know, none of us, were just beamed down one day from the heavens.

And with a past, comes some sort of baggage. 

Now, maybe some of you only have good baggage, and that’s great. But, it has been my experience that most folks tend to carry the beat up, dirty, stinkin’ kind of baggage from their past with them as they go through this life. I mean the good stuff is in there, but our day to day lives tend to be affected more dominantly by the things that went wrong in our past, the things that we would change if given the opportunity. And this kind of baggage, is the kind that is heavier than we were ever meant to carry. 

The kind that causes us to have mental, spiritual and even physical issues that change the very way that we live our lives. If we let it.

When I was around 7 or 8, I had an experience happen to me that changed who I was. I don’t speak of it often, unless the Lord brings it to mind for use in His Kingdom, so not many people know this about me. It was something that happened with a man who crossed a line physically in an appropriate way, and for me, it was like a switch was flipped on in my life that I was not emotionally or mentally equipped to deal with.

And here is what it ultimately did. It changed who I was on the inside. And it changed who I became on the outside. One moment after it happened, I was changed. The little girl who was innocent and care free, became confused and tainted…in a moment. And it muddied up everything else in my life as I went forward. It took me down a road that I never should have gone down. And I began making life altering decisions based on this one moment in time.
The enemy began to use this encounter as a weapon of confusion against me for many years. And it contaminated the young woman that I was supposed to become. 

In that moment, which was literally a smaller time frame than it takes to microwave a cup of coffee, the enemy tried to take my purpose. 

In John 10:10, it says that the enemy comes to “steal, kill, and destroy”. And on that day, he tried to do just that, take the purpose from a little girl, before she even knew what the word “purpose” meant.

And just like he has done to so many others, starting way back in the garden of Eden, he handed me a set of lenses and said “put these on, and you’ll see things more clearly”.
But, really, everything and everyone began to look distorted and I became very confused about life and the value that I held in this world.

I became broken on the inside.

Years later, the Lord showed me something that changed the way that I processed my original experience.
He took me back to the place where it all began, to the place where I was hurt. He asked me if I felt justified to keep feeling hurt and angry. I told Him that I did. I was hurt, and I was just a kid, so, yes, I deserved to feel hurt. I was a victim so if I went into a court of law, I would win the “case” against the person that hurt me.
He said, “you are right, you are completely justified on all levels. But…if you choose to carry ‘being right’ in your bag, there are things attached”. What did He mean?

He said that if I continued to carry my hurt, my confusion, my anger, my trauma, justified or not. I had to also carry shame, bitterness, heaviness, brokenness, and all the other things that were attached to it. And ultimately, the enemy would use those things as a doorstop, to prop open the door of my life to the things that HE wanted me to carry…I would then be serving HIS purpose. He said that I would carry it in my mind, my spirit…and ultimately my body. And eventually, it would contaminate everything in my life going forward, it would even make me sick in body if I continued down that road.

And with that choice, I could never grow in Him…not fully. The weight of what I was carrying, would be too heavy for me to bear and go forward in Him. I would continue to walk in circles, never forward, never completely free. It would be like a bungee cord that would pull me right back to the start every time I tried to step into what He had for me.

I began to cry, but through the tears, I began to think about what I valued more my broken past…or HIS victorious future. I wanted what God had for me and I wanted to be free from all that the enemy had put in my bag so many years ago. And once I understood, that I had to lay one down, to pick the other things up, it got easier. 

And I was able to move forward.

It was on that day, that I laid my hurt, brokenness, confusion, insecurities, anger, and all else that came with it, at the foot of the Cross. Since I did that, God has been able to use me in ways that I never dreamed.

I will not say that I never revisit those wounds. But, I will say that when I do, it is much like a scar. It is numb to the touch, and it is only visible enough, that I am able to show others how far God has brought me so that they can see hope for the wounds that they may be carrying. 
See, scars show up, so that others can see where we’ve been, but they are no longer bleeding wounds, when our healing is complete.

I will not allow the enemy continue to use them as a weapon against me. I will not even give them a forum, unless God is using them to help someone else. I will not speak of them as though they belong to me BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO JESUS! And if I continually revisit them, it’s like I’m taking them back, and I don’t want them back. 

I had to forgive the person that hurt me, because hurt people, hurt people, and to be forgiven, we must forgive.

My prayer for whoever is seeing this, is that if you are hurt, ask the Lord to give you strength and wisdom to let go of that hurt. Unload your bag of hurts at His feet. Don’t allow the enemy to use them against you for one more second!

And let Him heal those places in you that have kept you going in circles. 

A tethered bird can never leave the ground…It can never fly. 
You were meant to fly. 

Don’t settle for the enemies sad imitation of life on the ground, lean in and let God give you wings!

In Him is not only Life, but LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY!! (John 10:10)

“He RESTORES my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3)

~Stephanie Copeland Palmer 

    “Leave Them There” 

Falling On Our Knees 


I hope you’re somewhere Praying …..I hope your soul is changing – 

I hope you find your peace -falling on your knees …Praying…….


                           Praying!

    Oh, I am loving this new song by Kesha! 

I am moved to tears as I listen to it as I pray for her and hope she has found the Light of Christ to help her emerge from all the darkness of her past.  

May we all be moved to keep falling on our knees to pray for souls to be changed and for others to find wholeness and healing in Christ. 

            ~ XXOO Michelle Bollom 

Restoration Stories – Nichole Marbach 


A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.~ John 10:10 The Message 



Watch Nichole’s Amazing Restoration Story here:

For more information visit her website http://www.nicholemarbach.com 

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