I have been OutClassed!

Ever see this verse?  “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” ~ Proverbs 31:27.  What about in this translation? “She looks discretely to the affairs of her household, and she is never lazy.”  Ouch!

 I used to really feel guilty when I saw this verse.  Today when I read this verse my first reaction was “yep I killed it Monday cleaning part of my house and mopping floors. I was not idle at all.”   “Yep Tuesday I got my work out in and washed some clothes and made an amazing dinner after hosting bible study at my house..Booyah!”   I made my bed, decorative pillows and all the last two days!

It is easy to get boastful and prideful on those days we are killing it with so much energy and checking things off our to-do lists left and right.  But today, I sit still in my PJs.  My kids have been gone for over two hours now and I am still sitting here reading my Bible, praying, answering a few messages, writing this blog.   And you want to know what?  I don’t feel guilty at all.  I know God still loves me on these days as well as the days I am at peak performance.  Actually He probably loves me more on days like today because that is when I really soak up all the beautiful Promises He has for me.  

I expanded on this whole verse, You know the Proverbs 31 Woman.  The famous verses making all us women feel like total slackers.  Yep this used to get me so discouraged.  Not anymore.  God makes us all unique.  We all have gifting’s and abilities especially suited for us.  Who cares if someone does all those things?  I for one think she needed to maybe “lay down the law” and let her husband and kids know that if everyone lives in it, then everyone should pull their weight!  Sure,  I can check off a few of her characteristics and strive to achieve in some other areas, but come on, I don’t go buying fields, but I did buy my husband a great used car recently all by myself.   Up before dawn? I get up first but it is normally around 5:30 and I keep trying to push it to 6 and I have been known to get everyone out the door and lay back down. Gasp! I know….Such a slacker!  I don’t enjoy knitting and sewing.  Nope today I am still undressed so missed that “up and dressed” part today.  The next one that gets me is not in a hurry to call it quits….uhmm I am always in a hurry to call it quits for the day, I am worn out and like my sleep.  I am not diligent in homemaking, I try, I really do, but years of having a maid spoiled me and I just really do not enjoy it so I am blessed God gave me twins and they are huge helps around the house and I no longer feel the need to have a spotless house.  I like a house lived in.   So what am I trying to get at?  Don’t condemn yourselves ladies, don’t compare or try to compete with a Proverbs 31 Woman, or any woman.  That is a guideline and not meant to be achieved perfectly this side of Heaven.  Sure we need balance and need to be striving to be better today than we were yesterday, but don’t feel guilty if the chores are undone,  If you have not got in your work out, If you took a nap or went back to sleep, or if you spent longer in your quiet time.  Yes, the Proverbs 31 Woman may have OutClassed us all, but hey, I will gladly rest in God, soak up His promises, and rejoice that He will work it all out and make us the women He wants us to be.   He knows best and can use a day in your pjs as well as those days you killed your to-do lists.   XXOO, Michelle Bollom

 

 Hymn to a Good Wife

10-31A good woman is hard to find,

and worth far more than diamonds.

Her husband trusts her without reserve,

and never has reason to regret it.

Never spiteful, she treats him generously

all her life long.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,

and enjoys knitting and sewing.

She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places

and brings back exotic surprises.

She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast

for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it,

then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,

rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.

She senses the worth of her work,

is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,

diligent in homemaking.

She’s quick to assist anyone in need,

reaches out to help the poor.

She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;

their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.

She makes her own clothing,

and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected

when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,

brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.

Her clothes are well-made and elegant,

and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,

and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,

and keeps them all busy and productive.

Her children respect and bless her;

her husband joins in with words of praise:

“Many women have done wonderful things,

but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.

The woman to be admired and praised

is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Give her everything she deserves!

Festoon her life with praises!

 

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary Proverbs 31:10-31 31:10-31 This is the description of a virtuous woman of those days, but the general outlines equally suit every age and nation. She is very careful to recommend herself to her husband’s esteem and affection, to know his mind, and is willing that he rule over her. 1. She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good. 2. She is one that takes pains in her duties, and takes pleasure in them. She is careful to fill up time, that none be lost. She rises early. She applies herself to the business proper for her, to women’s business. She does what she does, with all her power, and trifles not. 3. She makes what she does turn to good account by prudent management. Many undo themselves by buying, without considering whether they can afford it. She provides well for her house. She lays up for hereafter. 4. She looks well to the ways of her household, that she may oblige all to do their duty to God and one another, as well as to her. 5. She is intent upon giving as upon getting, and does it freely and cheerfully. 6. She is discreet and obliging; every word she says, shows she governs herself by the rules of wisdom. She not only takes prudent measures herself, but gives prudent advice to others. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, and shows itself in the tongue. Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world. 7. Above all, she fears the Lord. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who made his choice of a wife by it. But the fear of God reigning in the heart, is the beauty of the soul; it lasts for ever. 8. She has firmness to bear up under crosses and disappointments. She shall reflect with comfort when she comes to be old, that she was not idle or useless when young. She shall rejoice in a world to come. She is a great blessing to her relations. If the fruit be good, the tree must have our good word. But she leaves it to her own works to praise her. Every one ought to desire this honour that cometh from God; and according to this standard we all ought to regulate our judgments. This description let all women daily study, who desire to be truly beloved and respected, useful and honorable. This passage is to be applied to individuals, but may it not also be applied to the church of God, which is described as a virtuous spouse? God by his grace has formed from among sinful men a church of true believers, to possess all the excellences here described.

Only Iron Sharpens Iron

~Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character. ~Proverbs 27:17 ISV

You know the movie “The Help” The famous part where the nanny tells the little girl you is kind you is smart you is pretty you is important…
Well some grown woman need to be told You is nasty you is grouchy you is ugly and it ain’t all about you!

Every group has one. You know the kind.

You could powder their butts all day long and they would still be chapped about something.

They can’t celebrate others, they are jealous and resentful. They easily get mad and offended and often bolt from the sandbox or isolate themselves so people will come running after them. If no one runs after them they always show back up because they thrive on this type of behavior. They are usually angry people but pretend to be meek and sweet. They get upset if they did not get invited somewhere or if they did not know some bit of information. They make the group afraid to not include her or want to keep secret their plans for fear of this person. That person is usually so skilled in sarcasm and they love to shoot sarcastic digs trying to hurt others in what they think is a subtle way. When you call them on their behavior they profusely deny it and constantly use health or tough situations as an excuse for acting badly or justifying their constant bad moods and words. They never fully take ownership for their part in anything. They are big time blamers. They operate in denial or a false self and try to pretend they are being honest and true. They turn on the water works as a manipulation tactic when no one is taking their bait.

Some of you right about now are nodding your heads and almost feeling your energy drain from your body because you know all too well these types of people.

We can all change. We all have to want to.

The person I described above is like the man on his mat for 38 years, they don’t want to get well. You can shout at them over and over to get up, you could pick them up and cannon ball right into the healing waters with them and they will still be complaining that something was wrong or something or someone prevented their healing, or someone got more than they did. Sometimes they appear to be healed and are all smiles and lovely for a few days or weeks, than they go back to their mat and just start to complain and act the same way all over again. I am here today to share what God spoke to my heart. Only Iron Sharpens Iron. When you keep allowing someone like this to wreck your circle of friends or groups with all their drama and pettiness you are expending precious energy and time focused on trying to make sure that person is not getting upset, that your armor is taking on too many dings and your sword is dull from all those dings of distractions and lack of sharpening. The enemy can swoop in and destroy you, your circle, and your group because you are all side tracked by that constant complainer that everyone walks on eggshells around. I love the quote by Joyce Meyer “You can be pitiful or powerful but you can’t be both!” God is asking us to RSVP with a big fat NO to their next Pity Party. God is calling us to not entertain this type of drama or behaviors anymore. It is time to set some boundaries and use our big girl words with them. If they still don’t want to be sharpened and change their ways then it is time for the Gift of Goodbye! It is time to prune some branches girlies and get rid of those sucker branches. You or your groups can’t bear fruit or grow with them always sucking the life out of everything. Not everyone can go where God is calling you.The enemy is real and it is time to recognize that this is bondage by the enemy to your circles and groups. I personally don’t want to miss out on anything God has for me by being bound to a toxic person. I want to make sure my armor is complete and my sword is fully sharpened by strong likeminded women. I believe in restoration, not simply preserving.It is time to Rise Up Higher! It is time for some to grow up and start acting like a child of the Most High King and not just a big ole “King Baby”. ~ XXOO Michelle Bollom

Characteristics of a “King Baby”- Simple list: immaturity – egocentricity , falsely Humble, self-loving, omnipotent, arrogant inferiority complex

Expanded list: • Tries to work people against each other to get their own way • seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process • able to make good first impression but unable to follow through • have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized • have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes • are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied • are usually lonely even when surrounded by people • are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives • feel unappreciated and think they don’t fit • see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren’t there for them • see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation • judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong • live in the past, fearful of the future • have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment • fear failure and rejections and don’t try new things that they might not do well • are obsessed with money and material things • dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen • prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates • often become addicted to excitement • hold emotional pain within