Marriage 

 

 

Define

Marriage can be defined as a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.

 

Affirm

…at  the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

Matthew 19:4-6

 

Recall:  

I am so excited to share this life lesson with you.  

 

This week I had the honor of witnessing my mom and dad’s 30thyear wedding anniversary.  I am so happy for them.  I don’t know many people that have been married for 10 years more less than 30 years.  So while celebrating with them for the past week- I thought about what I have learned from watching them for many years.  I decided to share my top five (5) lessons that I have learned from my mom and dad.    

 

MOM AND DAD CONGRATULATIONS ON 30 YEARS OF LOVE AND LIFE LONG LESSONS!

 

Lesson #1.  Love Conquers All.  

I have witnessed my parents experience struggles in all areas of their lives; which often put a strain on their relationship.  Although it would be inappropriate to specifically disclose all of their struggles, in general they experienced turmoil from financial to family to health to…..Through it all 30 years later they still stand united.  So many people would have easily thrown in the towel; but they didn’t.  Lesson learned? Love must conquer all!  

 

Lesson #2.  Love Languages Matter.  Pay Attention.

My mother and father had two distinct love languages.  My mother really enjoyed receiving gifts and my dad appreciated random acts of kindness.  I observed that my dad would often shower my mom with flowers, nice dinners, money for shopping, etc.; and my mother would ensure that simple things in the home were taken care of, such as dinner was cooked, the home was tidy, and the towels and linens were always cleaned and folded nicely.  Lesson learned?  Pay attention to your spouse’s love languages and express your love to them the way they need it most.

 

Lesson #3.  Control your own relationship.  

Over the years, my parents experienced so much.  I witnessed many people saying to them; including their children that it might be time to separate or take a break or even divorce.  If my parents would have listened to all the naysayers; they would not have made it so far in their marriage.  My parents controlled their own relationship despite what others thought.  I admire them for that!  Lesson learned?  Do not let others dictate your relationships.  Only you know how you want to respond and what you need.

 

Lesson#4.  Relationships take work.

My parents were working parents, who raised four actively involved children.  They could have easily abandoned their personal relationship because they had children to raise; but they did not.  I remember them having date night, and time away from the children so that they could continue to nurture their relationship.  I have been told what you feed will grow and my parents made sure they got quality time with each other on a regular basis.  Lesson learned?  Falling in love is by chance and to stay in love it takes work.  

 

Lesson #5. Pray Hard.  Pray Often.

There is not too much to say about this.  Simply put-pray hard and pray often.  Lesson learned?  Pray some, pray more, then pray some more.  

 

Lastly, I asked my parents two final questions.  

1. What spiritual advice would you give to others?
2. What practical advice would you give to others?

Here are their answers below: 

 

Mom 

(1) If it wasn’t for Christ, in my life- I would have given up a long time ago.
(2) Know who you are dealing with.  You can’t change anyone!

 

Dad

(1) Learn how to trust your wife.  She is truly of your rib.
(2) It’s cheaper to keep her!

 

This message can be for someone that is happily married, for someone that seems like their marriage is on the rocks, or for the unmarried.  Whoever you are, and whatever your marriage status is, you can too experience what my parents have now or one day in the future.   

 

If you are struggling in your current marriage or if you are wanting to get married, I highly suggest you review the lessons that I learned from my mom and dad.  Each lesson has a practical approach to a God connected marriage.  

 

My parents came together 30 years ago, and watching them examples how LOVE heals everything.   God joined them as one flesh and they have let no one separate them…not even themselves.  

 

I encourage you to place GOD at the center of your relationships.   If you are married, do not let anyone separate you from your spouse.  If you feel you are at that breaking point- I challenge you to take your problems to GOD!

 

Expression:

Dear GOD,

 

Thank you for allowing me to witness your undying love in others.  Lord, please help me to keep you at the center of all of my relationships.    Lord if I fall short in my love for my spouse or others please ignite me with a burning desire to shine your love on others.

 

Commit to the challenge.  I DARE you. ~ Lereca Monik


#mydearestsister #Idareyou #restoredministries #itstimeforachange#anewyou #LiveRestored


Forgiveness 



 

Define

Forgiveness can be defined as: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) ANGER; to stop blaming (someone) RESENTMENT; to stop feeling anger about (something) SITUATIONAL  (situation that occurred, not a person); to forgive someone for (something wrong) ACTION; to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed) FINANCIAL

 

Affirm

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

 

Recall:  

Forgiveness is one of those topics that most of us try to sweep under the rug.  Most of us have someone or something that needs forgiven and many of us will continue to make the choice of not forgiving.  Yes, I said choice.  Whether we need to exercise forgiveness because of what is conscious or subconscious, forgiveness is a choice.  We can either choose to forgive or we can choose not to forgive.   

 

After reviewing the definition of forgiveness, I realize that often-I exercise fictitious forgiveness. Have you every acted nice to someone when you really don’t want to; but you do because you feel it’s the right thing to do?  Yep, just like you- I am guilty.  Guilty of acting, someone please give me the drama queen of the year award.  

 

For years, I had been acting; some of you would call it putting up a front.  It wasn’t until I got real with myself and my walk with God that I even knew how to start the process of forgiveness.  While praying and mediating, I learned so much about myself.  The reoccurring phrase that appeared was “ABANDONMENT.”  

 

I had been abandoned by the people that I felt were supposed to love me the most– my dad, then my mom, and then my grandmother.  I spent many years looking for the remedy myself and no matter what, I would in turn abandon everything.  I abandoned family, people, friends, jobs, projects, and myself.  I self sabotaged all of my relationships.  

 

Because of what experienced, I felt, unloved, unwanted, unneeded, and guilty.  Have you felt like this before?  Have you ever felt like your presence did not matter to anyone?

 

For years, I had developed anger towards my mother because she wasn’t there!  I had developed deep anger towards her and like many of you reading this post; I acted like everything was okay.  Well my life wasn’t okay.  

 

I developed low self-esteem and as a result I became critical, addicted to the approval of others, depressed, insecure, I looked for flaws in others, I pretended to be reserved, I isolated myself, I tried to self-medicate, and I became a perfectionist.   Have you witnessed these characteristic in yourself? in others? 

 

 

The baggage manifested in other areas of my  life- I created more issues…… addictions, weight gainresentmentguilt, shameself-esteem issues, hatred, envy, pride, jealousy, nightmares, headaches,inability to think or concentrate…You name it, I manifested it and I was tired.   Are you tired of manifesting negative things, people, and places into your life?

 

When my walk with God got serious; God got serious with me. He showed me that my perception was a little off and that I need to forgive MANY people in my life, including myself.    I allowed God to show me how to forgive.   When I surrendered to the process, I forgave my mother and one year later (to the date) God blessed me with a beautiful little girl.  I had been blocking my blessing.  Forgiveness of my mother unlocked my greatest blessing. 

 

How many of you are blocking your blessings because you choose not to forgive?

 

Are there people, situations that God is telling you to forgive?  If you withhold forgiveness from them, God may withhold your forgiveness.  Most importantly you might be blocking your blessings.  You cannot afford to live a life without God’s forgiveness and you cannot afford to live a life without experiencing God’s full blessings he has in store for you.  

 

Like me you might be dealing with past hurts, anger or resentment towards someone.  Maybe you endured something as a child or as an adult that was traumatic or invokes feelings of helplessness or intense fear.   Your issue might not be abandonment; but what or who is it?

 

It is time to release the people and things in your life that cause you pain.   It is time to allow Christ to do a big work in your hearts.  It is time to unleash forgiveness and unlock the key to a life full of abundance.  

 

Just know you are not alone.  God is ready to help you; but you must take the initiative to begin the process of forgiveness so that you can experience life after forgiveness.   I challenge you to take the first step today.  If you do, you will feel hopeful, happy, proud, peaceful, and loved.  

 You deserve it!  

 

Expression:

Dear GOD,

 

I come to you thank you for forgiving me, even when I wasn’t worthy of it.  I ask that you show me areas of my life in which I need to forgive myself and forgive others.  I desire to live a life of love, freedom, and abundance. I know in order to live this life, there are things I need to let go.  Lord I am ready to let go, I am ready to love freely.

 

Commit to the challenge.  

I DARE you. ~Lereca Monik 


#mydearestsister #Idareyou #restoredministries #itstimeforachange#anewyou #LiveRestored