Pity Party 

  

The Urban Dictionary defines “Pity Party” as:

A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is. 

Pity parties can be just for one or for many people, such as maybe your friends and close people, who will try to comfort you or just be there for you while you keep asking yourself what did you do to deserve whatever it is that made you so sad in the first place 
Pity Parties require the proper outfit, which is usually pajamas cause you dont get all dressed up during those feeling-sorry-for-myself moments. Also you should have no make up on or just the one from the night before; hair undone as well. 
It also involves tissues, comfort food such as ice cream; chocolate; potato chips; cookies; cake; and candy. Low fat food is banned 

Alcohol might or might not be allowed (if alcohol makes you go wild, no alcohol should be brought to the pity party in that case since the point is not exactly to have fun). 
The purpose of a Pity Party is to dumpt the pity. 

Music is also very important at pity parties, including songs like “One is the Loneliest Number”, “All by Myself” and any other song that makes you feel like throwing yourself from the nearest cliff.

 

Pity parties usually end after you are done whining or if someone breaks it up. This will usually be a cynical loved one who will not let you drown in self pity and will take you either to have the best time ever, drinking and partying or will just make you crawl out of bed by making you see how pathetic you look and how you should cut the whining and just do something to make things better. ~Urban Dictionary 

Although this is quite funny-A “Pity Party” is one party we should never attend. 

As Momma Joyce Meyer says: 
You can’t be pitiful and powerful at the same time.  Choose what you want to be! 

           ~XXOO Michelle Bollom 
  

Flipping Friends Hang Tight 

  

We all know the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” 

Well, why not look to some turtles for some examples of how this can be done simply in a nut shell!!! 

Check out this video on The Dodo: https://www.thedodo.com/turtle-friends-video-1177826090.html

The Bible gives good friend advice!!
Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Jesus Does Too!
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” 
Flip On,

Kelley Allison❤️
That reminds me….

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station 

Hee Hee🐢

Flip The Switch

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My family likes to use a lot of silly made up words. Some are original creations, some are one word wonders, others are compound words, and some are little phrases or even songs. I am not sure why we do this, but we always have. Many, well, come to think of it, most, really aren’t appropriate. However, they are quite funny. The latest gem my sister has been using is “FlipSh*t”. This is to describe when she needs me to pray that she keeps her peace. When she is starting to feel the chaos swirling around her and she is close to unraveling, blowing her cool, and losing her peace, she will say, “Please pray I don’t FlipSh*t. “
She just re-entered the work place after being retired for several years. This silly word had me thinking about my own journey with Peace.
I can remember those corporate world days when I was not walking closely with the Lord, and I constantly had no peace. The fastest way for me to Flip was while working, but juggling a full time job, being a wife, and also a mom to twins, who am I kidding, I was a regular Flipper, I FlipSh*t daily back then. I so longed for and craved peace.
I remember seeing this verse my children had to memorize for Sunday school several years ago.


Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] ~ John 14:27 AMP

I love the direct command at the end of that verse in the [brackets] for the AMP (Amplified) version. It has some great stuff in those [Brackets]. God knew that I was doing all those things in the brackets. For far too many years I did them. I was finally all “Flipped Out “, I just wanted Peace! Not momentary peace, nope, none of this world’s peace stuff, I wanted true lasting peace.
Slowly, as I began to read and study His word, Asked Jesus back into my life, and became filled with the Holy Spirit, I started to understand this “Peace stuff”.

You see, I never realized before that we can’t lose our peace. It is a fruit of the Spirit. We have it; it just doesn’t maybe get developed as it should, kind of like self-control. We need God to be our “Miracle Grow” to get those puny little fruits to grow bigger and better.


But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[f]that can bring a charge].24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.25 If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit [g]we have our life in God, let us go forward [h]walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.] ~ Galatians 5:22-25

See the [bracket] again,… the work which His presence within accomplishes. If Christ is in us, We got peace! And ….. If by the Holy Spirit, we have our life in God, we move forward, walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit. So we have to let ourselves be controlled by the Spirit and not the flesh. The fleshly worldly peace is fleeting, The True Peace never leaves.

How does this Peace help us and what are we to do with it?

And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. ~ Colossians 3:15 AMP

We let Peace rule. Yep, I am not the boss of me either. We let Peace aka, The “Soul Harmony” from Christ, Rule! Oh, I want some of that!, …(act as an umpire continually in our hearts)….we don’t call the shots, we have an Umpire for that… and did you catch the [brackets]? …Deciding and settling with finality ALL questions that arise in your minds. The Umpire decides and settles with finality ALL, again it says, with finality ALL questions that arise in our minds are settled. In that peaceful state, we were called to live, being thankful, appreciative, and giving praise to God always.

How do we keep Peace?

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. ~ Isaiah 26:3 AMP

We will remain in perfect and constant peace when we keep our mind, both its inclination and character, on Jesus! We continuously Commit, Lean, and Hope in Jesus.

Where does Peace come from?

The Lord will give [unyielding and impenetrable] strength to His people; the Lord will bless His people with peace. ~ Psalm 29:11 AMP

The Lord will BLESS His people with Peace! Only the Lord gives Peace. He also gives us unyielding and impenetrable strength, and self-control too so we don’t Flip.

Without Peace there is no Power in our lives. When we are filled with The Prince of Peace, we have Him inside us helping us grow and develop that good Perfect Peace.

We have to Flip the switch!

The power switch for peace and an abundant life is found only in Christ! ~XXOO Michelle Bollom

We don’t know Jack, but God does!

Do you ever feel sad, resentful, frazzled, nerved up or downright crazy sometimes? Sometimes I can’t even pin point the reason for feeling unsettled. We could be stuffing down our emotions and not finding our words to express our hurt, loneliness, unmet expectations (anger) or wounding’s.  I have an identical twin so a lot of times I am not sure if it is me feeling unsettled or if she is feeling unsettled.  For days and weeks and months we can give and give and pour out and we have forgotten to get filled back up ourselves.  Sometimes our calendars can be so jammed packed that we just can’t catch our breath and we need to set some boundaries.  I stepped away this Spring from a couple volunteer commitments because I felt the Lord was asking me to focus on some different things, and to invest more time on my main mission field, my husband and kiddos.  So even stepping back from that I still had too many things pulling me a million different ways.  Sometimes I feel that I have enabled everyone around me and I become so worn out and resentful that no one seems to step up and give Mom a break when she needs it the most.

 I simply forget to set the boundaries, release control, and use my big girl words to ask for help.

I start to feel like a Jack in the Box toy; you know the one with the crazy looking clown.  It is tucked tightly into the shiny box.  When you crank that handle, the music plays and then “Wham” “Boom” “Snap” the clown, aka Jack, is out of the box.  It sways back and forth; head is bobbing to and fro with a cheesy expressionless grin.  It is fun and gives everyone a great big laugh and then you cram it back into the box and do it over and over. I feel sometimes like the demands of life and people asking things of me keep the crank winding and me jumping out of the box, like Jack, …over and over.  You know them too; the weight of the demands from our kids, husbands, friends, family, commitments, ministry, jobs, etc. can all become too much when we don’t keep a good balance, or neglect our health, or don’t ask for help.  Just like the neglect of Ole Jack.  Ever run across one of these Jack in the Box at a flea market or antique shop? The paint is smeared and worn off the face and looks more like the Joker than a clown.  The little cloth covering the spring is torn and the old dirty and rusty springs are becoming exposed.  The crank is busted and the music that once sounded so joyful with anticipation of Jack’s appearance is sounding like some creepy ole scary accordion music that gives you the heebie jeebies. The once anticipated timing of Jack is now not so predictable and The Jack that pops out is the kind people jump from and want to run and avoid.  That kind of Jack looks wretched!  That was the Jack I felt like.

So when we start to feel like the wretched neglected and worn out Jack; overwhelmed and frustrated and it does not take much of a crank on that handle to bust you out of the box, what do we do?  

First realize, we don’t know Jack! But God does!

Release control, surrender it to God, set some boundaries, if you don’t have peace you are out of God’s will.  Sometimes you have to say no to some things to be able to say yes to where God wants you.  Make sure you are clinging to God’s Word.  If you have an identical twin, check them too, I realized a lot of my feelings were from my twin sister’s emotions. Make yourself and your health a priority; don’t neglect exercise or eating healthy.  Apologize for being on edge and unsettled with our crazy behavior and memorize this Awesome Promise >

I said, “I am falling”; but Your constant love, O Lord, held me up. 19 Whenever I am anxious and worried,  You comfort me and make me glad.  ~ Psalm 94:18-19 GNB

Relax and let the Great Comforter take over.  Remember He is also the great Restorer and He can take that Ole wretched Jack and make it all shiny and new again.  Only With God, are we able to withstand those endless cranks of life’s demands well.

~ XXOO Michelle Bollom

 

Marvelous Light

 

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. ~ 1 Peter 2:9 ESV

I woke up yesterday and as soon as my eyes opened and I heard the phrase in my mind, “I have called you out of darkness and into My marvelous Light.”  I first thought, hmm that must be a song stuck on my mind.  All day the phrase stuck with me and kept coming up so I decided to do some searching.  I came across the scripture above.  I thought well that is a great promise and I will add that to my spiritual toolbox.  Then I remembered that I had a dream the night before about this boy that I don’t really know and his name kept coming up in my mind.  I was not sure if this was a prompt to pray for him or what, so I went to my Name book by Dorothy Astoria.  It lists over 10,000 names with their meanings, origins, and spiritual significance. (Spiritual Significance includes the Bible Verse or Life Verse  for each name.)  God likes to speak to me in my dreams by giving me names or faces of people I either know or don’t know and usually when I reference the book I get a great big ole God Promise that I have been needing as an answer to either a prayer request or situation or sometimes for someone else for encouragement.  So right before bed I decided to look up the name and WHAM… this was the verse.

I’ll help the blind walk, even on a road they do not know; I’ll guide them in directions they do not know. I’ll turn the dark places into light in front of them, and the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, and I won’t abandon them. ~ Isiah 42:16 ISV

BOOM! Right there God had given me a great big ole promise that confirmed the awakening phrase and Promise I had from 1 Peter 2:9…

So you might be thinking, what in the world does that mean and why it is so exciting that I had to blog about it… well let me back up and share what had happened just a few days before. ( It is long but worth it!)

I woke up Monday to immediately having a call from a dear friend and got news that she had lost her mother in law suddenly overnight.  I had just visited her mother in law 4 days prior.   I was grieved for my friend and her family over this loss.  I then was rushing to get my kids packed up for camp and my teenage son can sometimes really frustrate me and I just lost my cool.  I raised my voice, screamed at him, and yes, I am human; the flesh took over and I even dropped a few curse words.   Feeling horrible, I apologized and we headed out the door for lunch before drop off.  The lunch choice out of convenience and someone else’s opinion was not a good choice, lunch stunk…ok I actually said it SUXed, and I even joked with my kids that it was a big ole X for Sux because we are never making the mistake of eating there ever again. 

Sidenote: People close to me know that I am a foodie and I just can’t stand to have food remorse when getting bad food.  I know it is such a trivial problem when many are suffering greater tragedies… but it does bother me.  Most days I can shake it off, but today I didn’t.

 I dropped the kids off and ran a few errands.  Ok I ran around nonstop in search of things I needed and kept striking out.  That is rough when you live in a big city and with the traffic it turned into hours and hours of chasing down a few items, which I struck out on one, and then the one I did finally locate was more than I wanted to spend, but I had to have it, and then got home and it did not fit! It was too small, but by that time I was exhausted and just crammed the items in the too small bag and thought I would soon be calling it a day.   Nope, I had then had one issue after another.  I had 20 plus emails to respond to, a printer jam, a defective brand new ink cartridge, without a spare, a lost document that was very important that my CPA had to have, and all the while I got a friend request from a friend thinking they set up a new Facebook account only to find out they had been hacked and I was receiving message after message about some Pepsi Lotto I had won.  I had to block, remove and notify people of the hacker and was just about spent as my husband surprised me by getting home early.  As he walked in and asked me how my day was, I just lost it.  I said, I am overwhelmed and have had one issue after another, please give me a minute and I will be right in.  My husband is awesome.  He quietly leaves me and as I break down into a pity party sobbing and crying and telling God I just don’t know what to do, I feel overwhelmed, confused, what am I supposed to be doing, why is everything so hard… Blah Blah Blah…. You know the kind of moments.    I felt bad that my husband that never gets home early had surprised me so I dried my tears and went in to my husband and rehashed over my entire debacle of a day to him.  He just smiled and hugged me and said it would all be ok.  

I could not sleep that night.  I tossed and turned from midnight to 2 am.  I was so unsettled.  I got out of bed and my husband thought something was wrong.  I usually get like this when something big happens so it tends to put him on alert.  I just replied that I am somewhat unsettled so I am getting up to read and pray and hoping to calm down.

 Well, before I started to read I checked my phone and saw a Facebook message from a friend whose child is battling leukemia.  His wife shared a beautiful story how a stranger had approached them to give them hope after they had an 11 hour day full of chemo and hospitals and suffering and pain for their little guy.  They shared how the stranger was a survivor and cancer free now and he was able to show the little boy his scars from chemo ports and how his hair had grown back.   I immediately started to cry.  I was ashamed at how I fussed and fumed and cried over my crappy day and my day was nothing compared to the trials, tests, and sufferings they are experiencing and they could see that the stranger that brought them Hope in the midst of a really hard day was a blessing and I could recognize that it was God with skin on sent to them to comfort them and bring them Hope.   But yet I cried and sobbed to God about how hard my day was and wanted Him to send me someone with skin on to comfort and bring me hope and He had… Lots of things He tried to show me, but I could not see them…yet. 

 I saw several more people asking for prayer in the wee hour of the morning on Facebook.  I prayed for them all, and read God’s word for the next 4 hours.  I was shocked to find out that my husband’s alarm had gone off and he was fixing to leave for work and I had been praying and reading God’s promises for that long.  He seemed shocked too and convinced me to go rest so he got me settled back to bed and my alarm set since I had Bible Study that day and was hosting at my house.   I fell asleep for about an hour and then awoke and went about my day.  I felt at peace, I was tired, but encouraged.   I shared with a few of my girlfriends my frenzied day and night and some God lessons and verses I came across and the beautiful story of God sending the man to bring hope to my friends and their son.  We had an amazing study that day and I felt the day would be awesome.   The afternoon brought some obstacles that at first got me so worked up I started to have that breakdown feeling again, so I paused, unplugged and grabbed His word again.  I read chapter after chapter of His promises.  I felt the peace return and everything worked out and had a great night’s sleep that night. The next morning is when I awoke with the phrase in my head about being called out of darkness into Marvelous Light.  I felt like it was a turning point kind of day.  I had many plans for the day, but God quickly rearranged my day and had something else in mind.  I spent several hours on phone calls trying to get copies of the important document and even when the outcome was not in my favor I still did not lose peace or Joy.  I kept clinging to God’s Promises and knew God would work it all out.    The clouds were parting and I was seeing past my darkness. I started thinking about this quote I heard.  “If you put your light out there, you are going to attract some Big Bugs” ~ Clarice Fluitt.  I laughed and knew that God was using that quote and the verses on light to confirm that He has this and everything else I will face in His control.  I need to get my mind off the darkness whatever that is and look just straight on to His Light. Then I heard another quote by Clarice…..” Don’t weep like a heathen without Hope.”

God has a great sense of humor and I just love “Jehovah Trixter” when He uses someone to speak to my heart right at the core and tell me “Snap Outta It” (insert Cher accent there).   Light Bulb moment! Aha Moment, whatever you call it, I got it.

I had let stupid stuff upset me and was allowing the enemy to rule me.  I was weeping like a heathen without Hope and that was not who I was.  I have Christ, I have Hope.  I also knew that if the devil doesn’t use someone with skin on to attack you he will use your own mind.  That is exactly what had happened.  I had allowed fear and worry and the enemy to take over my mind.  I instantly thought of  this promise.

[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning’s and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),~ 2 Corinthians 10:5 AMP

Here it is again in a simple translation….

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ` 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

And just to make sure that I got the point, God confirmed this promise to me, my dream person that night took me straight to the name book and that was the verse listed.

I know this verse by heart; it was a main tool in my toolbox at one time, so when did I misplace it and allow the enemy to wreak havoc with my mind again?  I know how powerful God’s Promises are and I know this stuff, I thought this seems silly but God was showing me what I needed. That I had allowed my petty circumstance to make me focus just on the darkness instead of His Light. Then I was brought back to the 2 promises that He showed me in 1 Peter and Isaiah and I knew I had got the lesson! I got the reference!  I had been given my Hope, My God with skin on moment……

He has called me out of darkness; I have been and seen a lot of darkness.  I have been in the trenches of deep depression, loss of loved ones, poor health, cheated death, chaos, and addictions.  I have been a heathen that sobbed without Hope before.  I am so grateful that He has not just called me, He has picked me up, restored me, and brought me into His Marvelous Light.  I am no heathen no more.  I have the Hope of Glory, I have Christ living inside me. I have the promise that when I am spiritually blinded by my flesh, He will help me walk.  Even on a road I do not know.  And there it is again… the promise that He will turn the dark places into places of light.  He will level out the rough places and He will Never abandon me.  What a glorious Promise! These Promise are for you too.  Run to the Light Peeps!   Not just any ole light, to His Marvelous Light.

Believe His Promises more deeply!  Hold your face up to the Light, even if in some moments you just can’t seem to see past your darkness.  Cling to His Promises. Refute those lies of the enemy by declaring the light of His promises over your darkness.   Light On`  XXOO~ Michelle Bollom

Only Iron Sharpens Iron

~Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character. ~Proverbs 27:17 ISV

You know the movie “The Help” The famous part where the nanny tells the little girl you is kind you is smart you is pretty you is important…
Well some grown woman need to be told You is nasty you is grouchy you is ugly and it ain’t all about you!

Every group has one. You know the kind.

You could powder their butts all day long and they would still be chapped about something.

They can’t celebrate others, they are jealous and resentful. They easily get mad and offended and often bolt from the sandbox or isolate themselves so people will come running after them. If no one runs after them they always show back up because they thrive on this type of behavior. They are usually angry people but pretend to be meek and sweet. They get upset if they did not get invited somewhere or if they did not know some bit of information. They make the group afraid to not include her or want to keep secret their plans for fear of this person. That person is usually so skilled in sarcasm and they love to shoot sarcastic digs trying to hurt others in what they think is a subtle way. When you call them on their behavior they profusely deny it and constantly use health or tough situations as an excuse for acting badly or justifying their constant bad moods and words. They never fully take ownership for their part in anything. They are big time blamers. They operate in denial or a false self and try to pretend they are being honest and true. They turn on the water works as a manipulation tactic when no one is taking their bait.

Some of you right about now are nodding your heads and almost feeling your energy drain from your body because you know all too well these types of people.

We can all change. We all have to want to.

The person I described above is like the man on his mat for 38 years, they don’t want to get well. You can shout at them over and over to get up, you could pick them up and cannon ball right into the healing waters with them and they will still be complaining that something was wrong or something or someone prevented their healing, or someone got more than they did. Sometimes they appear to be healed and are all smiles and lovely for a few days or weeks, than they go back to their mat and just start to complain and act the same way all over again. I am here today to share what God spoke to my heart. Only Iron Sharpens Iron. When you keep allowing someone like this to wreck your circle of friends or groups with all their drama and pettiness you are expending precious energy and time focused on trying to make sure that person is not getting upset, that your armor is taking on too many dings and your sword is dull from all those dings of distractions and lack of sharpening. The enemy can swoop in and destroy you, your circle, and your group because you are all side tracked by that constant complainer that everyone walks on eggshells around. I love the quote by Joyce Meyer “You can be pitiful or powerful but you can’t be both!” God is asking us to RSVP with a big fat NO to their next Pity Party. God is calling us to not entertain this type of drama or behaviors anymore. It is time to set some boundaries and use our big girl words with them. If they still don’t want to be sharpened and change their ways then it is time for the Gift of Goodbye! It is time to prune some branches girlies and get rid of those sucker branches. You or your groups can’t bear fruit or grow with them always sucking the life out of everything. Not everyone can go where God is calling you.The enemy is real and it is time to recognize that this is bondage by the enemy to your circles and groups. I personally don’t want to miss out on anything God has for me by being bound to a toxic person. I want to make sure my armor is complete and my sword is fully sharpened by strong likeminded women. I believe in restoration, not simply preserving.It is time to Rise Up Higher! It is time for some to grow up and start acting like a child of the Most High King and not just a big ole “King Baby”. ~ XXOO Michelle Bollom

Characteristics of a “King Baby”- Simple list: immaturity – egocentricity , falsely Humble, self-loving, omnipotent, arrogant inferiority complex

Expanded list: • Tries to work people against each other to get their own way • seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process • able to make good first impression but unable to follow through • have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized • have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes • are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied • are usually lonely even when surrounded by people • are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives • feel unappreciated and think they don’t fit • see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren’t there for them • see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation • judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong • live in the past, fearful of the future • have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment • fear failure and rejections and don’t try new things that they might not do well • are obsessed with money and material things • dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen • prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates • often become addicted to excitement • hold emotional pain within