“the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present and future regarded as a whole”

Her tears fell on gravel of time

she was tired of peoples opinions

telling her what to do

and who she should be

she was tired of living up

to others expectations

that she forgot who she was

and all the pretty little things

she liked

she became weary and angry at herself which lead her to believe a voice that had drilled her most of her life “what is wrong with me”

they would say

look at her

she’s too much

she shared too much

she loved too much

her beauty was too much

she is too much

she had a past she thought

would never let her go

“do you have any convictions”?

the lady with piercing blue eyes

her face more than close

to her face in that moment

she froze and just like her old court days when the judge cracked his hammer and wanted to throw her down his chambers because she was guilty “silence in the court room” was the silence in this room

a thousand horses ran wildly through her mind everything came rushing back everything she had ever done

all her convictions she had committed

her past her present

her soul began to feel the resurrection of pain guilt shame trauma fear

all the stones people had thrown at her over time and in this time.

Is this how Mary felt when the religious leaders threw her to the ground at the feet of a man who did not come to condemn her but to love her and show her the way to life?

She was ashamed of herself, too much guilt to even look him in the eye

until his hand of generosity reached out to her she wasn’t expecting anything from him;

but he whispered her name

looked past all her shame

the words He spoke comforted her soul and brought hope

“You will be too much for many but don’t worry about what they say you keep being you and keep being too much cause I have placed too much inside you to not let people see My glory if they say you share too much they are trying to stop what I’m saying through you apart of what they say “she is too much” is true because I created you to be too much

He helped her to stand on her feet again

He stood between the religious ones who have tried to keep her in a box of her past

He lifts her chin welcomes her

she looks at Him

she catches his eyes

she can’t look away

captivated by his mercy and grace

He whispers

“when I look at you I see Me

I cannot help but cry because I know the darkness you’ve had to go through to get you right here

right now

I’ve surrounded you with My beautiful light

you didn’t give up no matter the pain and never seeming to end battles one after another you never gave up you got knocked down but over time you arose and allowed me to steady your walk

You are forgiven.

Not just the surface stuff but the hidden stuff you hide within I see it all and it’s time to release it, release it all, it’s not who you are

all those things are used to torment you. It’s time precious one, it’s time to let go you will arise from the fire more at peace you will walk a little lighter and joy will flood your soul expect unusual which is just right for you, you hear my voice come walk with me beloved.

He makes all things beautiful in his time and for every season under heaven everything takes time to heal

to break down

to build up

to weep to laugh

to mourn a time to dance

Man made a cage

but I made your wings

it is for freedom that I came

to set you free

~ Ngahuia Harvey

It was like a dream come true when you freed us from our bondage and brought us back to Zion! We laughed and laughed and overflowed with gladness. We were left shouting for joy and singing your praise. All the nations saw it and joined in, saying, “The Lord has done great miracles for them!” Yes, he did mighty miracles and we are overjoyed! Now, Lord, do it again! Restore us to our former glory! May streams of your refreshing flow over us until our dry hearts are drenched again. Those who sow their tears as seeds will reap a harvest with joyful shouts of glee. They may weep as they go out carrying their seed to sow, but they will return with joyful laughter and shouting with gladness as they bring back armloads of blessing and a harvest overflowing!

~ Psalm 126:1-6 TPT