Changing Me

You said You would 

change me

It came as a shock

I thought I was perfect 

Scales over my eyes

Deaf to Your voice

I thought I knew You

Hard to admit,

but I never did

Oh how I was deceived

I said all the right words

Knew my bible by heart

Yet I did not live it

I flowed in Your gifts

Yet I did not know You

I only knew what others 

told me of You

Looked through blurred lenses

While You were waiting for 

me to know You intimately

It would have happened 

sooner if I was brave enough 

to face my fears

You knew me better 

than anyone else

I lived in a bubble

A dark cloud followed 

me everywhere 

I had so many issues

I thought this was my lot

Passing down a baton of religion 

to the next generations

Oh how I was blinded

I held on to temporary fixes

Yet every time pain would 

come knock on my 

hearts door

Healing and breakthrough 

were waiting in the letting 

go of everything I held dear

The price You asked me to 

pay was too high

Then You

unannounced 

disrupted my life

You got my attention

Separated me unto Yourself 

Here I found myself facing 

every fear

That I for so long chose 

to ignore

When You looked at me

You saw the blood washed daughter You created me to be

You saw my journey of healing 

and dying many deaths

You saw me scared and crying 

and longing for the familiar 

You knew with You by my side 

I could eliminate every demon

In my deepest pain 

You interceded for me

You never let go of my hand

Not even when I begged You to

When I broke through the barricades trying to stop me

You were the Light 

surrounding me

That was the day I discovered 

that all I ever needed was 

You loving me

In my denial and selfishness 

In my rebellion and pride

You reached out to me

Using my deepest challenges 

and pain 

To bring me back to You

I will never comprehend 

the love You have for me

I wanted You to change 

everyone around me

In my ignorance I thought 

I was perfect

In Your kindness You 

reached out to me

You are so, so good to me!

~ Ebigale Wilson

Changing Me

The Journey

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s