Inner Beast

i try to sleep

but i can’t

cause when i close my eyes

i see you on my mind

beating past pain into the present;

i’m exhausted

but the beast is alive

growling so loud

i can’t focus on sleep;

the beast is crushing all my dreams

beneath his feet

as i am barely breathing

to survive yet another night of

these terribly terrifying nightmares

i can’t shake

cause when i step out of the water,

i’m still drowning;

water above my head,

and although i can swim,

it doesn’t matter

cause the fear paralyzes

me fully

and i’m stuck

as the beast closes in

to devour my entire vulnerability;

this isn’t just a nighttime deal,

this is me daily.

~Bethany Anne