The picture of me in white is exactly from 3 years ago.
3 years ago, I was hurting and so lost. I was desperate for a real relationships with people and filling the void with horrible relationships.
Parties and bars, attention from men that only wanted one thing, “friends” that were only there when I was ready to shine for them.
I think I was even a little tipsy in this picture and I know I took this pic for a guy I was seeing at the time.
I was unengaged in the world around me. Fighting for a breath of fresh air. Drowning in a sea of confusion and chaos.
Fast forward to today. That doesn’t even look like me anymore. My eyes are alive. My spirit is alive. I know I have value and worth. I have true friends and I know God has the perfect man for me…and I’m happily waiting on him. Saving myself for my forever.
I know who I am. More importantly, I know who HE is. I know my savior in a way I never knew was possible.
I still have my struggles and trials and tribulations; but on the inside, I know exactly who I am. I know exactly whom I was made to be. I receive my identity from my maker, God.
Each day, I come closer and He meets me where I’m at.
I give up what I know is bad for me, knowing that God has something that is so much better than my “what if’s” and my expectations I’ve put on a person and situation.
Everyday, I say yes to believing there is more and there is better. Everyday, I make a decision to step forward. Even on the days I’m tired and I do nothing. I’m still doing something.
Everyday, I step into the presence of God and open my heart to his love.
Day by day.
If you know someone that is struggling, be their light. Show them some mercy and meet them where they are. Plant seeds of love and not of condemnation.
~ Erin Stella
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