Still A Warrior

i walk

by the ocean

that holds


i have not yet


about me;

the sand

beneath my feet

holds memories

i can’t remember

about who i once was,

and it kills me,

but i often wonder

if it would make a difference


my mind escapes me

and i am soon lost,

in the middle of the ocean





cause the waves are crashing,

sharks are circling ’round,

darkness is closing in,

and i feel stuck,

and i wonder why,

why am i here?

what could i have done

to avoid this?

i want to become one

with the ocean-

to be strong,



and to allow my fears

to pass through me,

not allowing it

to destroy me;

i will not wait for the chaos

to become quiet,

for the fear to leave

me alone;


i will fight now

for my life

with all i got

cause i am still a warrior

no matter how wounded

i become

from the battle

to be alive,


and free.

~ Bethany Anne

Away From Your Presence

I found myself alone

Away from Your presence

Sin drew me in

To places I never thought

I would visit

I did not listen

to Your still small voice

begging me to not go that way

Your warnings were many

I preferred not to listen

I could not pay the price

You asked of me

It was easier to have it my way

Like the prodigal son

I chose the things of the world

Yet he came to his senses

I never did

Here I am today

Alone and abandoned

from Your presence

Nothing to show

that is of worth

Empty handed

I know how feeble I was

It was my way or the high way

Pride ruled my life

It still does

The sad thing is

I clung to it

The one thing

that would be my downfall

became my idol unknowingly

Darkness has a way

of drawing you in

To places you never thought

you would visit

The enemy knows our weaknesses

He just presses our buttons

And off we go like a lamb

to be slaughtered


Very obedient

We all have a choice

I have to take the blame

for the choices I chose to make

His grace was always available

I chose not to make use of it

The stench of sin clings to me

But I don’t care

It’s all about me and what I want

I am the director of my life

Everyone will have to dance

to my tune

Selfishness my truth

Pride my safe place

Sin my habitation

And the longer I stayed

The tug on my heart went away

I did not care

about the trail of pain

I left behind

The meaningless life I have lived

No time for remorse

No time to think about wasted years

and ruined lives

I have lived my life

To the worst of my ability

For it’s all about me

It has always been

No time to listen

to that voice within

No time to think of the pain

I have caused

No time to think of God

Who had these beautiful dreams for me

No time to think how different my life

could have been

Had I listened

to His still small voice

I chose to chase after sin

the demon’s I was supposed to eliminate

Became my best playmates

Luring me further and further away

From Papa’s dreams for me

My life on display for all to see


No need for lies

Or a place to hide


I had a chance to fall on my knees

Ask for forgiveness

but I never did

It was all about me

and my need to impress

To chase after the things

of the world

Nothing of meaning

I leave behind

Only an empty life

With no positive impact

Many forgotten dreams

A generation bleeding

because pride was my god

I once knew God

but I made the choice

to turn my back on Him

Drifting further and further away

Sometimes for a mere moment

I reflect how life could have been

If I surrendered and died to self.

~ Ebigale Wilson

Away From Your Presence

The Journey

Who Will You Serve

Every day we get to choose to create something new and healthy for our life or to recycle the poison of generations past. We can choose to serve little “g” gods or we can serve the only big “G” God.

Choose wisely!

“But if it seems wrong in your opinion to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Choose the gods whom your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you live. But my family and I will serve the Lord.”~Joshua 24:15 CEB


Romanceit is what women long for and what men fear, for women are looking for men that will make their lives an adventure, not a tragedy.

So, men, how do we live in such a way that our daily lives are an adventure, not a travesty of justice?  What makes life interesting?  What gives life flavor?  What compels us to get up each day and face this cruel world?

Men, it is your greatest fear – relationships.

We would rather jump out of airplanes, climb frozen mountains, or work 16 hour days to build empires that will someday crumble than to invest ourselves in the tricky, unpredictable world of relationships.  This is not entirely without reason.

Failed relationships hurt; friends can betray us; people often need way more than we can provide.  And we often feel that we don’t have that much to contribute to relationships.  

Also, who can depend on the return on the investment?  It’s like a crapshoot; some days you win; some days you lose.

Fortunately, we have a personal coach.  He’s actually living inside us teaching us what to think, what to say, what to do, and what to pray.  Without him we would be sunk.

With him, we win.  Every time.  

Acceptance or rejection, friendship developed, or acquaintance lost, we win.  

We win because we had the courage to play. We win because, ultimately, nothing good is ever lost.  

Every kind word, every extended hand, every dollar loaned – it all comes back; it all pays dividends; it all makes us richer.

The only real danger is the temptation to quit – to quit loving, to quit giving, to quit trying.  

For when we do, our resources dry up; loneliness and fear set in, and despair starts trailing us, waiting to pounce and steal our hope.

You may have heard it said that the spiritual armor provided to every believer is primarily covering our front side.  We are to be in the battle, ever advancing.  Even when we must retreat a few steps, we keep our eyes focused on the coach, and our ears tuned to his voice, waiting for his next command that will turn the tide of the battle.

Make no mistake, our Coach knows how to win, and his undying determination is to create a team of winners!

~ Brad Heilhecker

Deliverance From Pride

Help, Lord!  Save, Father!  Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Holy Spirit!  Come and deliver your children!  

Save us from ourselves and our enemies. Keep us from exalting ourselves.  Keep us from exalting others.  Help us to stay away from selfish ambition and bitter envy.  Help us to stay with the flock.  Help us to keep our eyes on you.  May we always work, rest, and play for your honor and glory.

Jesus, The Lion of the Tribe of Judah, is humble.  He is exalted over all, yet he is still humble and gentle.  Our Heavenly Father is humble.  He is the creator and designer of all, yet he still refuses to exalt himself forcefully over us.  He gladly receives our worship, when it is freely given, but he does not demand it.

All those that refuse to receive his free gift of life will one day be shown the door and allowed to go their own way, for there are some who would rather be in agony than to bow their knees to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Help, Lord!  Save, Father!  Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Holy Spirit!  Come and deliver your children!

~ Brad Heilhecker

Wondrous Love

As I ponder on Your

greatness and majesty

I am surrounded by Your presence

Enveloped in Your love

Overtaken by Your kindness

What more can I ask for

Then to experience the heights

of Your wondrous love

Your love invaded my whole existence

The day I surrendered completely to Your will

You took my heart of stone

blew on it

Till it came back to life

Back to Your unrelenting love

I was created to know You in measures

far above what I could ever think or imagine

My life is an adventure, now that I know

the depth of Your love

The different layers of Your love

Inspires me to take my place

in Your end time army

Every day I discover a different

facet of Your heart for Me

I am intertwined with Your love

I wouldn’t dare breaking away

You make life worth living

Storms like a breeze

Warfare a learning curve

I know Your love burning in me

Gives me the ability to override

every plan of the enemy

My life on earth will be too short

to experience the awesomeness

of Your majestic heart for me

You don’t care about our past

Or the mistakes we have made

You know that when we experience

Your grace

We come home

Your love hunts us down

You search for

The outcast

The lonely soul

The one wrapped in pain

The one bound by sin

Engulfed by darkness

Controlled by the enemy

Your love will reach through every barrier

Your love will bring every high place down

Every demon it will put to flight

For the power of love

is our greatest warfare weapon

For too long we were robbed

Generations left hopeless

While everything we longed for

is found in You

You heal our scars

You make us brave

May each longing soul experience

Your heart filled with love

We are atmosphere changers

A remnant bride who know

Who and Whose we are

We move in Your authority

Not backing down

An army of lovesick lover’s

whose identity is hidden in You

The fragrance of heaven clings to us

We are living examples of Your love

extended to a lost and dying world

It’s only when we come to the end of ourselves

Broken and transparent

Lost to the world

and what it has to offer

Where our focus is Papa

and what He needs

to do through us

that our lives really begin.

~ Ebigale Wilson

Wondrous Love

The Journey