I found myself alone
Away from Your presence
Sin drew me in
To places I never thought
I would visit
I did not listen
to Your still small voice
begging me to not go that way
Your warnings were many
I preferred not to listen
I could not pay the price
You asked of me
It was easier to have it my way
Like the prodigal son
I chose the things of the world
Yet he came to his senses
I never did
Here I am today
Alone and abandoned
from Your presence
Nothing to show
that is of worth
Empty handed
I know how feeble I was
It was my way or the high way
Pride ruled my life
It still does
The sad thing is
I clung to it
The one thing
that would be my downfall
became my idol unknowingly
Darkness has a way
of drawing you in
To places you never thought
you would visit
The enemy knows our weaknesses
He just presses our buttons
And off we go like a lamb
to be slaughtered
Willingly
Very obedient
We all have a choice
I have to take the blame
for the choices I chose to make
His grace was always available
I chose not to make use of it
The stench of sin clings to me
But I don’t care
It’s all about me and what I want
I am the director of my life
Everyone will have to dance
to my tune
Selfishness my truth
Pride my safe place
Sin my habitation
And the longer I stayed
The tug on my heart went away
I did not care
about the trail of pain
I left behind
The meaningless life I have lived
No time for remorse
No time to think about wasted years
and ruined lives
I have lived my life
To the worst of my ability
For it’s all about me
It has always been
No time to listen
to that voice within
No time to think of the pain
I have caused
No time to think of God
Who had these beautiful dreams for me
No time to think how different my life
could have been
Had I listened
to His still small voice
I chose to chase after sin
the demon’s I was supposed to eliminate
Became my best playmates
Luring me further and further away
From Papa’s dreams for me
My life on display for all to see
Unedited
No need for lies
Or a place to hide
Unapologetically
I had a chance to fall on my knees
Ask for forgiveness
but I never did
It was all about me
and my need to impress
To chase after the things
of the world
Nothing of meaning
I leave behind
Only an empty life
With no positive impact
Many forgotten dreams
A generation bleeding
because pride was my god
I once knew God
but I made the choice
to turn my back on Him
Drifting further and further away
Sometimes for a mere moment
I reflect how life could have been
If I surrendered and died to self.
~ Ebigale Wilson
Away From Your Presence
The Journey
