Always Afraid

What is this fear? Why won’t it go away?

The fear is that I don’t know what I am doing, and that I don’t know where I am going.

Even if I know that heaven is my ultimate destination, what lies between here and there?

Who is making my daily decisions?

Who is taking responsibility for my life?

What is the source of my strength and hope? When will the war be over?

When will I ever be completely out of danger?

No platitudes, please. This is real life, with real life battles, with life and death decisions that have to be made.

There is only one answer to this fear, one ultimate solution. Death. When I die, there will be no need for fear.

So that’s it? I have to wait until I die?

What if I could decide to give up my life now? What if I could go to my own funeral now? What if I could decide to no longer worry or be afraid of anything that could happen?

What if I could let go now, instead of waiting until time makes the decision for me?

What if?

That may be the world’s saddest question, if it is not answered well.

So, let’s replace it!

Let’s ask,

What do you want me to do today, Father?

How may I bless your heart today?

Who may I help today?

Who needs prayer?

Who needs encouragement?

Lord, what is on your agenda for me today? Jesus, what do you want to do through me today?

Fearfulness is too high a price to pay for having my own way. I surrender to you today.

I give you my life. You make my decisions. You chart my course. You protect me, guide me, strengthen me, and give me life abundantly. Jesus, you are my life, and I thank you for it!

~ Brad Heilhecker

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