Pushed Out to Press In

No one wants to talk about it.  No one wants to hear about it.  Certainly, no one wants to take blame.  The harshness of reality is too much because it requires personal examination of places within that one has laboriously worked at keeping hidden for longer than it takes to forgive.

They say, “What comes around, goes around,” and while I don’t truly know about that, I do know that the Lord says that nothing hidden shall remain hidden.

Interestingly, it’s when the darkness comes into light that I’ve seen responses of denial, false accusations, excommunication, and rejection…all leading away from acknowledgment of TRUTH.  Again, no one wants to know the truth because then change must occur, and we all know that, for most, change is hard.  HARD.  It’s so much easier and simpler to remain complacent.  Neutral.  Idle.  Right where the enemy wants us.

It took me a long time to recognize that I was idle.  Let me rephrase because that isn’t exactly the truth.  I knew.  I knew long before I was pushed out that things were not as they seemed.  You see, loving someone who has an eye to see the hidden isn’t hard.  I was pretty good at that.  But, loving someone who has an eye to see the hidden AND the gall to call it out – well, that was more than my “Fa-la-la-la-la…let’s keep the peace, and all will be well” mindset could handle.

I now know that the Lord was showing me through the eyes of another that it was time to move.  My dependence on others – the many I loved and the place I called “home” – kept me from accepting what I knew to be truth.  It is never okay to allow injustice to occur without a fight, and time and time again, I forced my eyes closed to that before me because it was too HARD to watch.  I didn’t move, and God had no choice but to allow me to be pushed out.  Falsely accused.  Rejected.  By those I loved.  The place I called “home”.

The heartache, disappointment, anger, sorrow, confusion, and pain that ensued cannot be described.  The dividing line between love and hate grew hazy, and I no longer knew where I was.

I now know.  Love.  If there were no love, there would be no pain.  Truth.  If there were no truth, there would be no pain.

Over the course of the past year and a half, an evolvement has taken place.  The pain from love, and the pain from truth, have been transformed to joy.  For, if there were no love, there would be no joy.  If there were no truth, there would be no joy.

Getting here has not been easy – the method, the means – shall remain sacred between my Father and me.  While sometimes the ghosts of the past lurk as an innocent word, thought, or photo attempt to trigger the pain, and though no one wants to talk about it, hear about it, or take blame, I, fortunately, have learned to be intentional about pressing in to the One who shows me daily that He delights in me.

As I consider the past, embrace the present, and contemplate the future, I recognize that I had to be pushed out to press in.  That, my friends, makes it all worth it.

~ Stephanie R. Gable (12/17/2017)

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For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light. ~ Luke 8:17

Therefore, do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. ~ Matthew 10:26

I press [in] toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3:14

So let us know, let us press [in] to know the Lord. ~ Hosea 6:3