Endless Love 

I have never known You

I heard about You, yes

I now know there’s a big difference 

in knowing someone and 

hearing about someone

I heard that You raised the dead

That You healed the sick

That You died for my sin on a cross

You did this all for the sake of love

It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this

Maybe for the fact that I grew up 

without a dad

Not just physically, 

but mentally and emotionaly

I needed a dad desperately

To show and tell me my worth

I guess that is why I tried to fill the void 

in my heart with “stuff” at first

I thought that the ‘cutting’ would 

calm the raging demons within

Then I thought that a ‘tattoo’ would 

make people notice me

Yet no one took the time to know me

I felt so worthless

Like I didn’t belong 

My dreams buried under 

my pain and my shame

I am someone’s daughter

I am someone’s sister

Someone’s friend

My self worth was zero

The void in my heart pushed 

me further into the dark

Clinging to dead things

To numb the pain

Then I got involved with the ‘wrong crowd’

We all were in a search to fit in

With our different masks

We could happily play the part

Then I started to experiment with ‘drugs’ 

To patch up this deep dark hole within

I drifted further and further away 

from the life I once knew

With demon’s convincing and alluring me

To unknown territories

I never thought I would visit

People noticed me now 

Yes, but it was for the wrong reasons

I was selling my soul for free

To numb the pain

To be known

Yet, no one took the time to

stop for a moment

To look past my outer appearance

To see the desperate, lonely soul within

After the drugs, the sex, the stuff

The void grew bigger

It took me too long to realize 

that no person or drug can fill this void

It was reserved for Jesus alone

I heard that this Jesus loved sinners

The woman at the well

The woman caught in adultery

Even Rehab the prostitute

knew that He had the power 

to set her free

Desperation brought me to my knees

When I felt so abandoned, rejected

Alone on the streets

No way of escape

My heart as cold as the frost on my face

His name I whispered in the darkest of nights

It was time to let go of the fight within

Though demons still tried to draw me in

You didn’t care how filthy I was

You didn’t care that I was dressed in rags

When my shame wanted me to run 

back to my past

You lifted my head 

looked into my dead eyes

And for the first time in my life

I saw what You knew all along

That I was deeply loved 

and beautiful in the eyes of my King

Your presence invaded my whole being

Every demon was set to flight

When You nursed my broken heart back to life

My heart was finally free

The moment when I encountered 

Your endless love for me

~ Ebigale Wilson

    Endless Love

    The Journey


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