My Laid Down Life

Alone and abandoned

I ran into You

My nakedness uncovered

for all to see

I am the clown, my life a live show

I couldn’t escape there was no where to go

My spirit was crushed

My emotions ran wild

My heart torn to pieces

The pain so surreal

Did it happen again? 

Or was it just a nightmare?

Was I revisiting the tombs of my greatest distress?

Felt the pain I have forgotten, 

all over again?

What kind of God would bring me 

to this path again?

Why do I have to rewrite this test again?

“I no longer live here God”, 

I cry through my tears

My only escape, is to surrender to 

His will

Though my flesh shouts “No!!!”

I will heed to His call

For He knows best

He sees further than me

As He put me in the fiery furnace again

I release my will and I just let go

While I softly whisper “break me and mold me, and have Your way”

I am Your servant daughter

Have Your way in and through me

Till I am totally dead, but alive in You

Invade my life with Your Spirit Lord

Till I am no more, but its all about You

And all you want to accomplish through a broken vessel, 

That has been put back together by Your Spirit alone

One day I will look back and 

see your plan along

I will shine with Your brilliance

Totally dead to self

I will know that it was never about my pain and my fear’s

It was what You wanted to accomplish 

Through my laid down life

As I move from darkness into Your light

May I resemble Your heart to 

a dying world

~ Ebigale Wilson 

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