Unanswered Questions-Part 2

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord , the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2 NIV

One beautiful weekend in July, I was on vacation trying my best to enjoy the present moment. But my spirit was not celebrating. It was troubled.
I didn’t understand what was going on, but deep within that sacred place that we both shared….I knew it had to do with you. 
Something shifted.

A couple days later as I watched the ultrasound technician measure your little head, your arms, and your legs. For a moment, I was relieved. You were a miracle in the making. 

And then the question came:
“Have you experienced any cramping?”
“No. Nothing at all, I replied.”
His look told me what my Spirit had revealed a few days before. Your baby’s heart stopped beating a few days ago based off of its measurements.

Our song had stopped playing.
I didn’t want to accept it. And I couldn’t tell this man that I already knew you were gone. I wanted it to be a mistake. I wanted to experience you alive and well safe in my arms.

I wanted to hear our melody playing at your birth.

God had other plans. I have learned that I just don’t have the opportunity to understand everything that happens here on this earth. I don’t think he designed me capable of understanding it all. 

But I do have the choice to trust his will for my life even when it hurts. I continue to have faith even when it’s hard to see what’s ahead. Someday, when I meet Jesus face to face, I will understand many things differently.

Be blessed in him today. Find comfort in his promises.

~Baring His Beauty,

   Tiffany Thomas 

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