Dismissed To Determined 

  
Behind the Smile: In Search For My Daddy!
(Dear daddies, sons and daughters need you. They need your presence and love.)

A daddy sets the tone for other relationships in his daughter’s life, he is her first role model, and he should be the first man to tell her- I LOVE YOU!  
I didn’t know my daddy as a little girl, but at some point I met my dad- and he often welcomed me with the words of “You are going to be a dumb broad just like your mom!” WOW! Here’s how those words affected me.

Those words became permanently etched in my brain and subconsciously, I almost accepted them as truth. So, I spent most of my life proving to other people that I was not dumb, and that in fact I was quite smart (and so was my mom- she was brilliant). I spent years fighting to: be cream of the crop, a leader, head of the class, easy on the eye…I kept on fighting. What did most of you see? You saw my smile.  

In turn, I became addicted to the approval of others. I became addicted to the art of perfection. I became addicted to older men. I became addicted to money. I became addicted to emotionally uninterested and unattainable men. I became emotionally unavailable. I became unattached. I became distant. I became very critical. I became lonely. I became cold. I became a hard friend. I become no one’s friend. And then I abandoned others –why? Because over and over he abandoned me. He abandoned me with his words and with his actions. 

All of my life, I was searching for my daddy’s love and I was expecting it to show up in other people. Well it didn’t. I discovered that it was necessary for me to try something else. That’s when I started seeking the FATHER’s face and my heart began to heal. The more and more I developed a relationship with GOD I was given an example of how to express unconditional love. I went from feeling Dismissed to being Determined, feeling Devalued to being Devoted, Feeling Dissatisfied to being Disciplined.
This is why I Smile.

       ~Lereca Monik 

#11AMSmile #LearningToLoveYourself #anewme #anewyou#lerecasmiles #itstimeforachange #liverestored# maven2016 #youreign

2 thoughts on “Dismissed To Determined 

  1. Hi Lereca,

    I’m glad I came across this blog and your post. God is restoring me and my daughter’s relationship.

    When I lived with her and my ex-wife I wasn’t there for her emotionally. I was an alcoholic so I spent all my time in the bottle.

    Then I got addicted to crack and went down hill fast and was put out.

    I tried to explain my addiction but she kept telling my I abandoned her.

    Although I have two sons also it’s my relationship with my daughter that hurts the most.

    I went to treatment got clean and found God.
    I prayed over our relationship and He told me to just get out His way because Kiki has a relationship with Him also.

    So that’s what I do and I can see she’s trying too.

    Your story lets me know she wants a healthy relationship with me as bad as I want one with her.

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
    Vernon

    1. Vernon,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. Congratulations for turning your life around. I was blaming my dad for things he might not of had the capacity for. I did not understand as a child; but I get it as an adult. I love my dad and we have a growing relationship. I finally forgave him and I no longer blamed him for what he didn’t know. I will encourage you to continue seeking GOD for answers…. he will show you. Keep your heart open to hearing his voice, in his time. Please know that I believe LOVE conquers all. May GOD fully restore your relationship with your daughter.

      In his name…..

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