Behind the Smile: In Search For My Daddy!
(Dear daddies, sons and daughters need you. They need your presence and love.)
A daddy sets the tone for other relationships in his daughter’s life, he is her first role model, and he should be the first man to tell her- I LOVE YOU!
I didn’t know my daddy as a little girl, but at some point I met my dad- and he often welcomed me with the words of “You are going to be a dumb broad just like your mom!” WOW! Here’s how those words affected me.
Those words became permanently etched in my brain and subconsciously, I almost accepted them as truth. So, I spent most of my life proving to other people that I was not dumb, and that in fact I was quite smart (and so was my mom- she was brilliant). I spent years fighting to: be cream of the crop, a leader, head of the class, easy on the eye…I kept on fighting. What did most of you see? You saw my smile.
In turn, I became addicted to the approval of others. I became addicted to the art of perfection. I became addicted to older men. I became addicted to money. I became addicted to emotionally uninterested and unattainable men. I became emotionally unavailable. I became unattached. I became distant. I became very critical. I became lonely. I became cold. I became a hard friend. I become no one’s friend. And then I abandoned others –why? Because over and over he abandoned me. He abandoned me with his words and with his actions.
All of my life, I was searching for my daddy’s love and I was expecting it to show up in other people. Well it didn’t. I discovered that it was necessary for me to try something else. That’s when I started seeking the FATHER’s face and my heart began to heal. The more and more I developed a relationship with GOD I was given an example of how to express unconditional love. I went from feeling Dismissed to being Determined, feeling Devalued to being Devoted, Feeling Dissatisfied to being Disciplined.
This is why I Smile.
#11AMSmile #LearningToLoveYourself #anewme #anewyou#lerecasmiles #itstimeforachange #liverestored# maven2016 #youreign