Sorrowful To Soaring 

  
Behind the Smile: I Decided to Jump!

It was a sunny day, the trees were green, the wind whispered softly through the leaves. The birds were chirping, soft music was playing from the apartment. I can remember the smell of my grandmother’s perfume and the scent of her freshly cooked Asian inspired vegetarian meal offered. This was the scene. Well this is what I saw with my physical eyes; but not what was seen with my emotional eyes. 

Emotionally, it was raining, the skies were grey, the music was daunting, the home smelled like rotten food, and a scent of cheap cologne gave me a headache. 

Why did I see life this way? To me, there was no reason to live. I wanted to die.

When a child is suicidal, they have lost all hope-they blame themselves for the neglect. When a child is suicidal, they are in a spiritual warfare with the enemy- they just want to escape the pain. When a child is suicidal, they isolate themselves- they do things like lock themselves in closets. When a child is suicidal, they suffer from depression- they have morbid thoughts of how to harm others. When a child is suicidal, they wish there was an alternative to death; but can’t see one- they just want to feel loved. 

Well as a child, I felt unloved, unwanted, unaccepted, uncertain, uncomfortable, unhappy, unnoticed, undesired, and unattractive. Since, I could not see a reason to live; I climbed on top of the building and I JUMPED! When asked what happen I said I accidentally fell. No one ever knew exactly how I felt. I hid behind my smile.

At that moment of life, I decided that there was no reason to live; but the CREATOR had a different plan. Most people considering suicide truly do not want to die, they just cannot see past the pain. GOD changed my perspective I went from feeling SORROWFUL in the valleys to the experience of SOARING high skies. I was called to SOAR! I was called to live! I was called to share this story. I was called to smile.This is why I smile. ~ Lereca Monik 

#11AMSmile #LearningToLoveYourself #anewme #anewyou #lerecasmiles #itstimeforachange #liverestored #maven2016 #youreign

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Stars In The Night 

  
Struggles and pain cannot define me,

For my name is daughter of the King,

Chosen one of God to become His

Warrior, fighting for a cause greater 

Than life can fathom in their minds,

To contemplate, yet not understand

The brilliance of the Creator of time,

Transforming the renewing of our minds,

Into stars in the night sky, reflecting Him

Who has called us out of the darkness

Continue reading “Stars In The Night “