I have to say the last two days have had me day dreaming of food. The kind that is not beneficial and the kind definitely not on my fast. I wrestled and wrestled it seemed with temptations on all sides!
Last night I did choose to deviate for one small item and I confessed it to my daughter before I ever did it so it would not be something done in secret. She cheerfully gave me grace to make that decision. I also took it to God and did not feel like He was beating me up or even upset. I felt completely at peace.
That one bite did nothing, it didn’t take the edge off of feeling deprived, it gave no sudden rush to my brain. Nothing, it was actually quite boring. But the biggest thing I noticed was my heart motive….it was very different. I believe because I confessed prior to my daughter, that was a move of being held accountable. I took it to God and He did not seem to indicate anything wrong, and afterwards there was no quilt or beating myself up over it either. It was a very controlled moment and then I moved on.
So you could say that I am learning a quiet growth in character and grace through this experience. It is not about perfection; it’s about progress. Keep keeping on friends!
XXOO Michelle Bollom
Being punished isn’t enjoyable while it is happening – it hurts! But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character.~ Hebrews 12:11 TLB
It may hurt when God removes our defects, but this in itself is a display of love. God’s correction is always right and for our best good, that we may share His holiness. Our recovery is a time of correction; it is a time of facing problems and character flaws and changing incorrect beliefs. There may be seasons when we do have to pay for our past. God will use this time to redirect our life toward something better. His correction isn’t arbitrary or abusive, but it is still painful. Knowing that God’s discipline demonstrates His love for us can be comforting in the midst of the pain. It helps to remember that His love will allow only that which is for our ultimate good.~ Life Recovery Bible