Never Alone 

  
When we find ourselves living in fear, confusion, continuous sickness, feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety and of course many more emotions; this is not what God intended for us. Our God is a God of love because God is love. He does not want to see us suffer. He wants to see us blessed abundantly beyond measure so that we can bless others as He has blessed us. 

We seem to think that in order for this to happen that we need to deserve it or earn it from God’s favor. This is just not true. Our blessings are not based on performance or good works. We must receive, know, and obey His Word!

One thing I know is God never leaves us. He is always with us. He wants the best for us. 
If this chick can grasp this, I promise you that you can; but it is only through faith in God. 

God saved my life after a brain tumor and multiple brain surgeries and complications many many times over. He healed me by the blood of Jesus. He told me at the very end “it is finished”, but the problem with me at first was not accepting the fact that He did not heal me the way I thought that He was going to heal me. 

I came home after a year in the hospital not being able to walk, bathe, or even feed myself. My mind and soul was in overflow of severe trauma. When I was in Ben Taub the pastors and preachers from all denominations would call me “sister Job” for some reason. At that time I was very uncomfortable being called “sister Job” and I didn’t understand why they were looking at me as some sort of hero. In my mind I was thinking -have they not read Job? I didn’t look at it the same as they did. Job lost everything at that time including his wife and children. I had not lost everything. Little did I know that when I came home from the hospital that everything that was covering me then would be cut off. 

I really did begin to lose it all. My family, my church and even my home. I started to see myself as “sister Job”!

I felt all alone, just me and God. 

I cannot drive any longer, my world spins, my head pounds and I am nauseated every single day. So basically my flesh is worse off now than it was before. There is not a day since all of these surgeries that I have not had a headache or nausea. Not one day. But over the years I have learned how to live with it the best that I can and I’m getting better and better learning how to depend on God instead of myself.  

I can’t do this but my God can. He’s doing it for me now. These precious five years that I have spent in isolation here at my home have been nothing but a thankful miracle for me that I’m just now realizing. I was isolated and alone from people but never from God. God has been right by my side this entire time and I have known that. I have always felt the Lord’s presence. It is Him holding me in His arms over the years that kept me alive and has brought me here today. He has sent me wisdom and a helper, The Holy Spirit, to guide me through this crazy world we live in. That’s how I’ve made it this far. During these years He has shown and spoken into my life things that I would have never seen or heard from Him without such an intimate relationship with Him. Things that no man can ever steal away because they are stamped on my heart forever. 

No one has it all figured out but God. Yet, God is a mystery! A great wonderful mystery and so is His word as written in the Bible. We must seek and search all matters out by His word. 

During these last few years I have been blessed in the valleys way more than on any mountain high. You see, God doesn’t want to see us sick and suffering and in pain, suffering from depression and anxiety. He wants to see our minds healed and delivered like only He can do. 

Not me, not you, not the doctors or psychologist, only God can completely heal us of these things. Just as He is in the process of doing right now for me and this is only the beginning. 

I believe that when we are in the valleys we are not alone. We have the Holy Spirit with us. The precious gift that was freely givin’ to us for our protection . We can trust the Lord to lead us down dark places with His never wavering light. 
He will keep us on course as He does the planet and stars. We can trust Him. We are always cared for, guided and protected by God. 

When a door slams shut, a window will open with a new opportunity. 

His perfect opportunity. 

New beginnings will begin to spring forth. 
My friends our prayers never go unanswered. They just may not be answered the way we expected them to be answered. 
We are never abandoned, never alone. 

In our hearts we know we can find good in the bad and positive in the negative. This is wisdom.

Oh dear Father God, give us the power of understanding and wisdom that we may learn from the situations in which you desire to teach us. I know that during these times of despair and suffering great gifts can be discerned. Give us the mind of Christ Lord so that our miracles and blessings are not blocked by our easily distracted minds. Open our heart to the possibilities our lives can bring if only we have faith in You. Give us the courage to get up when we are knocked down. Help us keep moving forward to our amazing reward awaiting us at the end of this bumpy road. Amen.

Is it going to be easy? Absolutely not.

Is it going to be worth it? You bet it is.

               -Michelle Smith 

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