We recently moved our oldest son to college. The days that lead up to the move were very stressful and it seemed like all we did was fight and fuss and argue. I have not seen his face in close to a month. It has been rough. I miss him. I am easily aggravated now because it seems he only calls or texts quick one word messages back to us and I hate that. If it is a whole sentence, he’s asking for something or needing something. He only calls when he wants us to do something for him. Don’t get me wrong. I am still so happy to hear from him no matter what he’s got to say. Sometimes it just leaves me feeling a little “needy” and unappreciated and I hate that.
Well the other day my phone rang and it was him. He called to talk….yes talk. Nothing really behind the conversation other than to update me on how well he was doing, telling me about his classes, new friends and other things. He told me how happy he was and that he loves where he is right now. Then he said “how are you mama? What’s going on with you?” ……… I was blown away. To the point I really didn’t know what to say. I started babbling on about what was going on with me and he was really listening. He reassured me that he was doing well. He reminded me that he was making good choices (still having fun in the process of course) but he said “remember you and daddy raised me right and I am not being stupid, I promise.” I thanked him for the sweet call and mentioned that if he would do this once a week it would mean the world to me.
We hung up and I cried. A good cry. I forgot why I was mad at him. I forgot how aggravated I was. I even smiled and felt the weight lighten a little from my shoulders. I breathed in for the first time in about 20 days and it felt so good. Thank you Lord.
I thanked God for this moment. This precious moment of sweetness with my oldest son. I sat there in my “bliss” and felt warm inside and really loved…….Then it hit me and I was ashamed. How many times do I pray a quick prayer with no reverence or stillness to really stop and listen? How many times do I go to the Lord, my Father, the Creator of all things with my needs and my wants and my requests? What about the times that I don’t go to Him at all? He loves me so much even if I am aggravating, selfish and stupid. He waits for me to slow down and come to Him with no expectations, only a heart of love and surrender. How would He answer me if I were to dare ask “Dear Lord…..How are you?”
I plan to do my best to get in the habit of slowing down and letting my prayer time be more of a two way conversation. To sit in silence as I wait for His response through His Word and through The Holy Spirit.
Speaking of new habits…..I asked Tucker to please make this type of call a weekly thing. He said he would ……we will see.
But I do have my hopes up!
Just like I completely forgot all the reasons I was supposed to be mad at my child; The Bible teaches me that because of my Salvation in Jesus, God sees me as His precious child and my sins are not just forgiven they are completely forgotten. ~ Susan Q. Bailey
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness. Psalm 89:15
You see, God takes all our crimes—our seemingly inexhaustible sins—and removes them. As far as east is from the west, He removes them from us. An earthly father expresses love for his children;it is no different with our heavenly Father;The Eternal shows His love for those who revere Him. Psalm 103:12-14