Emptiness can be defined as the state of containing nothing; the quality of lacking meaning; or the quality of having no value or purpose.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
When Michelle, asked me share stories on Restored Ministries, I initially thought about what my platform needed to be. I think I really overly thought about what her followers wanted me to write about. Now that I have been sharing stories for nearly 10 months–during this time, I have learned that people need authenticity. People need disciples that are REAL. People need to know that they are not alone in life’s journey. People need…real people…sharing…real stories…about…real life dilemmas. So in my quest to be real, authentic, and open- I invite you learn more about me.
For years, I was an addict of perfection. I wanted to look perfect. I wanted my life to appear perfect. I wanted perfect parents. I wanted to meet the perfect person. I wanted the perfect job. I wanted the perfect friends. I wanted the perfect relationship with GOD. This need to be perfect was just a manifestation of insecurities that was embraced over the years. This need for a “perfect” life kept me stuck, depressed, lonely, and often feeling empty.
No matter how perfect I looked or it looked or how perfected I wanted it- I always was seeking more or something better. I could not accept that in my quest for perfection, I was truly living in emptiness. So then I embraced empty relationships, empty friendships, empty career choices, empty conversations, and empty expectations…the list can go on and on.
Although, everything looked good, a piece of me was missing. I felt like a piece of my soul was missing. I blamed my emptiness on things like:
• Losing my mom at an early age.
• Blaming myself for having an alcohol addiction.
• Manipulating people with my tenderness only for personal gain.
• Aborting a child that I might not ever know.
• Not having the friendships that I wanted or just flat out not being a good friend.
• Living in guilt because of sexual immortality and creating soul ties that become soul burdens.
• Giving up on my dreams.
• Being dissatisfied with my daily routine- whatever it was at the time, work, family, social life, school, etc.
When I began thinking about life and the life I wanted to design for myself. I realized my life was empty because I selfishly had carnal desires of the heart. Carnal desires will leave you feeling empty. I was tired of emptiness. Just like the readers of RESTORED are hoping to connect to a real person, I was seeking something real.
I knew my life would only be satisfied with encountering GOD and developing a more perfected- not perfect relationship with him. I knew that I could not any longer seek fleshly relationships- I need a spiritual breakthrough. I didn’t know where to start; but I started in Psalms 23.
I meditated and studied PSALMS 23 for several days. In this passage, it helped me understand that sheep are helpless without their shepherd. The shepherd is the protector of his sheep. And just like the sheep, we are helpless with our shepherd- the Lord thy GOD.
The passage begins with…”The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.” As a sheep (child) in the Shepherd’s (fathers) care, we can rest in knowing that we will lack nothing. If you are experiencing emptiness in your life, or if you ever come to a point where you are feeling empty, please rest in this scripture. Spend time in Psalms 23.
You no longer need to fill empty, GOD promises that your cup will runneth over! Let GOD restore you, lead you, comfort you, and anoint you.
So it is! Commit to the change. I DARE YOU!
Thank you for showing me the empty spaces in my life. Thank you for helping me find rest in your scripture and restoration in my life. Please keep me on the path of living a fulfilled life. Thank you for your goodness and mercy. I love you.
~ Lereca Monik
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