Marriage can be defined as a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.



…at  the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

Matthew 19:4-6



I am so excited to share this life lesson with you.  


This week I had the honor of witnessing my mom and dad’s 30thyear wedding anniversary.  I am so happy for them.  I don’t know many people that have been married for 10 years more less than 30 years.  So while celebrating with them for the past week- I thought about what I have learned from watching them for many years.  I decided to share my top five (5) lessons that I have learned from my mom and dad.    




Lesson #1.  Love Conquers All.  

I have witnessed my parents experience struggles in all areas of their lives; which often put a strain on their relationship.  Although it would be inappropriate to specifically disclose all of their struggles, in general they experienced turmoil from financial to family to health to…..Through it all 30 years later they still stand united.  So many people would have easily thrown in the towel; but they didn’t.  Lesson learned? Love must conquer all!  


Lesson #2.  Love Languages Matter.  Pay Attention.

My mother and father had two distinct love languages.  My mother really enjoyed receiving gifts and my dad appreciated random acts of kindness.  I observed that my dad would often shower my mom with flowers, nice dinners, money for shopping, etc.; and my mother would ensure that simple things in the home were taken care of, such as dinner was cooked, the home was tidy, and the towels and linens were always cleaned and folded nicely.  Lesson learned?  Pay attention to your spouse’s love languages and express your love to them the way they need it most.


Lesson #3.  Control your own relationship.  

Over the years, my parents experienced so much.  I witnessed many people saying to them; including their children that it might be time to separate or take a break or even divorce.  If my parents would have listened to all the naysayers; they would not have made it so far in their marriage.  My parents controlled their own relationship despite what others thought.  I admire them for that!  Lesson learned?  Do not let others dictate your relationships.  Only you know how you want to respond and what you need.


Lesson#4.  Relationships take work.

My parents were working parents, who raised four actively involved children.  They could have easily abandoned their personal relationship because they had children to raise; but they did not.  I remember them having date night, and time away from the children so that they could continue to nurture their relationship.  I have been told what you feed will grow and my parents made sure they got quality time with each other on a regular basis.  Lesson learned?  Falling in love is by chance and to stay in love it takes work.  


Lesson #5. Pray Hard.  Pray Often.

There is not too much to say about this.  Simply put-pray hard and pray often.  Lesson learned?  Pray some, pray more, then pray some more.  


Lastly, I asked my parents two final questions.  

1. What spiritual advice would you give to others?
2. What practical advice would you give to others?

Here are their answers below: 



(1) If it wasn’t for Christ, in my life- I would have given up a long time ago.
(2) Know who you are dealing with.  You can’t change anyone!



(1) Learn how to trust your wife.  She is truly of your rib.
(2) It’s cheaper to keep her!


This message can be for someone that is happily married, for someone that seems like their marriage is on the rocks, or for the unmarried.  Whoever you are, and whatever your marriage status is, you can too experience what my parents have now or one day in the future.   


If you are struggling in your current marriage or if you are wanting to get married, I highly suggest you review the lessons that I learned from my mom and dad.  Each lesson has a practical approach to a God connected marriage.  


My parents came together 30 years ago, and watching them examples how LOVE heals everything.   God joined them as one flesh and they have let no one separate them…not even themselves.  


I encourage you to place GOD at the center of your relationships.   If you are married, do not let anyone separate you from your spouse.  If you feel you are at that breaking point- I challenge you to take your problems to GOD!



Dear GOD,


Thank you for allowing me to witness your undying love in others.  Lord, please help me to keep you at the center of all of my relationships.    Lord if I fall short in my love for my spouse or others please ignite me with a burning desire to shine your love on others.


Commit to the challenge.  I DARE you. ~ Lereca Monik

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