Forgiveness can be defined as: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) ANGER; to stop blaming (someone) RESENTMENT; to stop feeling anger about (something) SITUATIONAL (situation that occurred, not a person); to forgive someone for (something wrong) ACTION; to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed) FINANCIAL
“31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
Forgiveness is one of those topics that most of us try to sweep under the rug. Most of us have someone or something that needs forgiven and many of us will continue to make the choice of not forgiving. Yes, I said choice. Whether we need to exercise forgiveness because of what is conscious or subconscious, forgiveness is a choice. We can either choose to forgive or we can choose not to forgive.
After reviewing the definition of forgiveness, I realize that often-I exercise fictitious forgiveness. Have you every acted nice to someone when you really don’t want to; but you do because you feel it’s the right thing to do? Yep, just like you- I am guilty. Guilty of acting, someone please give me the drama queen of the year award.
For years, I had been acting; some of you would call it putting up a front. It wasn’t until I got real with myself and my walk with God that I even knew how to start the process of forgiveness. While praying and mediating, I learned so much about myself. The reoccurring phrase that appeared was “ABANDONMENT.”
I had been abandoned by the people that I felt were supposed to love me the most– my dad, then my mom, and then my grandmother. I spent many years looking for the remedy myself and no matter what, I would in turn abandon everything. I abandoned family, people, friends, jobs, projects, and myself. I self sabotaged all of my relationships.
Because of what I experienced, I felt, unloved, unwanted, unneeded, and guilty. Have you felt like this before? Have you ever felt like your presence did not matter to anyone?
For years, I had developed anger towards my mother because she wasn’t there! I had developed deep anger towards her and like many of you reading this post; I acted like everything was okay. Well my life wasn’t okay.
I developed low self-esteem and as a result I became critical, addicted to the approval of others, depressed, insecure, I looked for flaws in others, I pretended to be reserved, I isolated myself, I tried to self-medicate, and I became a perfectionist. Have you witnessed these characteristic in yourself? in others?
The baggage manifested in other areas of my life- I created more issues…… addictions, weight gain, resentment, guilt, shame, self-esteem issues, hatred, envy, pride, jealousy, nightmares, headaches,inability to think or concentrate…You name it, I manifested it and I was tired. Are you tired of manifesting negative things, people, and places into your life?
When my walk with God got serious; God got serious with me. He showed me that my perception was a little off and that I need to forgive MANY people in my life, including myself. I allowed God to show me how to forgive. When I surrendered to the process, I forgave my mother and one year later (to the date) God blessed me with a beautiful little girl. I had been blocking my blessing. Forgiveness of my mother unlocked my greatest blessing.
How many of you are blocking your blessings because you choose not to forgive?
Are there people, situations that God is telling you to forgive? If you withhold forgiveness from them, God may withhold your forgiveness. Most importantly you might be blocking your blessings. You cannot afford to live a life without God’s forgiveness and you cannot afford to live a life without experiencing God’s full blessings he has in store for you.
Like me you might be dealing with past hurts, anger or resentment towards someone. Maybe you endured something as a child or as an adult that was traumatic or invokes feelings of helplessness or intense fear. Your issue might not be abandonment; but what or who is it?
It is time to release the people and things in your life that cause you pain. It is time to allow Christ to do a big work in your hearts. It is time to unleash forgiveness and unlock the key to a life full of abundance.
Just know you are not alone. God is ready to help you; but you must take the initiative to begin the process of forgiveness so that you can experience life after forgiveness. I challenge you to take the first step today. If you do, you will feel hopeful, happy, proud, peaceful, and loved.
You deserve it!
I come to you thank you for forgiving me, even when I wasn’t worthy of it. I ask that you show me areas of my life in which I need to forgive myself and forgive others. I desire to live a life of love, freedom, and abundance. I know in order to live this life, there are things I need to let go. Lord I am ready to let go, I am ready to love freely.
Commit to the challenge.
I DARE you. ~Lereca Monik
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