Do you ever feel sad, resentful, frazzled, nerved up or downright crazy sometimes? Sometimes I can’t even pin point the reason for feeling unsettled. We could be stuffing down our emotions and not finding our words to express our hurt, loneliness, unmet expectations (anger) or wounding’s. I have an identical twin so a lot of times I am not sure if it is me feeling unsettled or if she is feeling unsettled. For days and weeks and months we can give and give and pour out and we have forgotten to get filled back up ourselves. Sometimes our calendars can be so jammed packed that we just can’t catch our breath and we need to set some boundaries. I stepped away this Spring from a couple volunteer commitments because I felt the Lord was asking me to focus on some different things, and to invest more time on my main mission field, my husband and kiddos. So even stepping back from that I still had too many things pulling me a million different ways. Sometimes I feel that I have enabled everyone around me and I become so worn out and resentful that no one seems to step up and give Mom a break when she needs it the most.
I simply forget to set the boundaries, release control, and use my big girl words to ask for help.
I start to feel like a Jack in the Box toy; you know the one with the crazy looking clown. It is tucked tightly into the shiny box. When you crank that handle, the music plays and then “Wham” “Boom” “Snap” the clown, aka Jack, is out of the box. It sways back and forth; head is bobbing to and fro with a cheesy expressionless grin. It is fun and gives everyone a great big laugh and then you cram it back into the box and do it over and over. I feel sometimes like the demands of life and people asking things of me keep the crank winding and me jumping out of the box, like Jack, …over and over. You know them too; the weight of the demands from our kids, husbands, friends, family, commitments, ministry, jobs, etc. can all become too much when we don’t keep a good balance, or neglect our health, or don’t ask for help. Just like the neglect of Ole Jack. Ever run across one of these Jack in the Box at a flea market or antique shop? The paint is smeared and worn off the face and looks more like the Joker than a clown. The little cloth covering the spring is torn and the old dirty and rusty springs are becoming exposed. The crank is busted and the music that once sounded so joyful with anticipation of Jack’s appearance is sounding like some creepy ole scary accordion music that gives you the heebie jeebies. The once anticipated timing of Jack is now not so predictable and The Jack that pops out is the kind people jump from and want to run and avoid. That kind of Jack looks wretched! That was the Jack I felt like.
So when we start to feel like the wretched neglected and worn out Jack; overwhelmed and frustrated and it does not take much of a crank on that handle to bust you out of the box, what do we do?
First realize, we don’t know Jack! But God does!
Release control, surrender it to God, set some boundaries, if you don’t have peace you are out of God’s will. Sometimes you have to say no to some things to be able to say yes to where God wants you. Make sure you are clinging to God’s Word. If you have an identical twin, check them too, I realized a lot of my feelings were from my twin sister’s emotions. Make yourself and your health a priority; don’t neglect exercise or eating healthy. Apologize for being on edge and unsettled with our crazy behavior and memorize this Awesome Promise >
I said, “I am falling”; but Your constant love, O Lord, held me up. 19 Whenever I am anxious and worried, You comfort me and make me glad. ~ Psalm 94:18-19 GNB
Relax and let the Great Comforter take over. Remember He is also the great Restorer and He can take that Ole wretched Jack and make it all shiny and new again. Only With God, are we able to withstand those endless cranks of life’s demands well.
~ XXOO Michelle Bollom