I woke this morning singing the song “I look to You” by Whitney Houston. I have loved this song for a while and it has been stuck on repeat during many difficult times of my life over the years. The first time I heard this was after my dad’s death. I know that during that time that it was only when I looked to Him could I continue on. I did not know this song or know Jesus as I know Him now when I suffered the devastating loss of my brother Toby in 2006. It was after my brother’s sudden death that I knew that I could not do things on my own. It seemed that I jumped in with both feet seeking God. I had done religion most of my life, but when I heard about Jesus and that it was a relationship and started learning about the Holy Spirit and reading God’s Promises in His word, well, it blew the door wide open for me. I have never looked back.
Sometimes life gets rough and we would like Jesus with skin on to walk those storms with us. I love the part of the song when she says, “I am about to lose my breath” Have you ever felt like the wind has been just kicked right out of you? Maybe it is a devastating diagnosis or news from a doctor, or cancer has given you a limited time left on this earth. I have walked through that one with a loved one, and recently have another loved one walking through this right now too. Maybe it’s a spouse that just said they didn’t love you anymore and filed for divorce? I know a few people walking through that blow right now. An affair, a job loss, the death of a loved one? Yes, the list can go on and on.
I have walked through many losses in my life and the ones that I did not look to Him were the most difficult to get through. I say I grieved without Hope on my brothers death, but just two years later I grieved with Hope on my Dad’s death. The two types of grieving make a world of difference. Not that they are less painful, but looking to Him brings a peace and comfort I did not know before in the midst of the storm.
This morning as this song was stuck in my head again, I thought, hmmm strange, I had not heard it in awhile and why do I awake humming and singing it? Then I felt the Lord impress upon me that not just during the devastating blows Michelle, I need you to look to Me on the everyday little blows too. I have to confess, sometimes I am not always looking to Him on the smaller things of life. Those moments when we are just bored, over tired, overwhelmed, insecure, lonely, sad, angry, our feelings have been hurt, our kids aren’t listening, our spouses are on our last main nerve. When we are distracted or stressed or just don’t feel well.
I am guilty of looking towards opinions or advise of others before Him, I am guilty of looking for something new to fill a void. I am guilty of finding comfort in Cheetos or a big honking piece of cake. I am a recovering emotional/compulsive eater, shopping addict, approval addiction/people pleaser. Note and emphasis on the “ing” Yes I still struggle with looking just straight on to Him for all the little blows that life deals me. We sometimes like to vent to our family or friends, but we need to remember to always vent vertically! Send it all to Him, look straight to Him. Don’t let anything distract us or let us lose our focus. Keep it straight on and fully looking to Him!
I am reminded of this wonderful Promise.
The LORD the Keeper of Israel.
A Song of Ascents.
1I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
2My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
3He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
6The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
7The LORD will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
8The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.
What an awesome Promise this is!
Release all those big and small blows to Him. Keep looking only to Him. He’s got you covered!
Enjoy this amazing song! XXOO, Peace, Michelle Bollom